CM house, first impressions. Should it matter?

I too think you are looking at the wrong things.

I have just moved and have been doing interviews. I have a broken fence that is being replaced in the next couple of weeks and has been secured in the mean time, my hallways still need decorating and my garden has toys everywhere and some overgrown plants in places that I haven't sorted yet (its a big garden and a lot of hard work has gone into it!)

I would hope that people looking round my house would be understanding of this and realise that I am not a superwoman, I am here on my own most of the time with 2 under 3s of my own, I have only been here a few weeks and have transformed the house from a complete bombsite into being a happy home with just a few bits that still need doing and have prioritised what needs doing.

Thing is, somebody who just looked round my house might think that I have been here for these few weeks and not bothered to do those things. But they wouldn't know, without speaking to me about it, that we have decorated the rest of the house - the walls had loads of holes in, skirtings all needed replacing etc. And it has been really really hard getting this all sorted. Loads of things have been done, like completly getting rid of the pond and filling it all in, making it level etc for the children, getting rid of the greenhouse, fixing loose paving, removing dangerous plants, child proofing glass etc. I could go on with a huge list of stuff that we have done but I won't bore you with that as I can see my post is getting long .

But the point I am trying to make is, that you don't know how many other things the CM has had to deal with, so the dishes might not have been top of the priority.

If the dishes were from that day, I would be OK with it. If they were from the night before, I wouldn't. Matching sofas etc wouldn't bother me at all. Your child won't care.

What stands out to me in your posts is that it all seems to be about the house and not the care that your child will be getting. Sorry if I am wrong, I just think you need to have a really good thing about the things that are important - for your child who won't care about old carpets.

Also - is it rented? If so, they might not have controll over the carpet etc.

But obviously, you do need to be happy with the CM and you are obviously not happy with these ones.

Also the area in which the childminder lives can make a big difference, regardless of what it is like inside.
When my kids were little I chose a great CM when she lived in quite a nice house in a very quiet street.
Then about 2yrs later she had to move to a 'rough' area and I put up with a year of collecting my youngest child whilst dodging kids throwing stones at passing cars and kids jumping on the roof of my car and not moving out of the road.
I felt really sorry to leave her, but I used to dread the pick ups (morning was fine at 7am!).

Agree it's down to gut feeling.

If you felt comfortable in those homes, then they would be the right place for you DS... if you didn't, then keep on looking.

I have been in some houses with old sofas with throws on them, and some mess, but they have been welcoming, comfortable houses.

I've also been in show home type houses, where while the décor is lovely, the owners are so prickly I didn't want to say.

Good luck in your search.

Sorry if you are not happy with what you see then keep looking.

If you are happy with what you see then keep looking. You will know when you find the right person.

All the best!

i would expect a cm house to be clean but nothing wrong with shabby/worn/not matching etc

no point having lovely stuff for other children to trash and tbh they will, even if not eating/jumping etc on sofa

our playroom doesnt match, it isnt shabby but well loved/played in

the adult room is meant to be child free and has lovely sofa/curtains etc in it

Well I use gloves and apron for nappy change - for mine and the childs sake!

You can see we do messy play, there are pics up on the wall, photos in my scrap books etc

I use the whole of downstairs, babies can sleep in my spare rooms upstairs. The only place they cant go is the 'cooking bit' of my kitchen when I am cooking! Otherwise anything does!

ATM you can't walk around my playroom, hall, living room as there is about three miles of Brio set up - I am NOT ALLOWED to put it away until they get back from preschool and school!

Turn it around - what would you think if you went to a run down nursery?

no thats wrong, it shpould be cleaned after each child.. a bit dirty that ..

ew. That's wrong. Maybe some people have different standards of hygeine, but I think that's a bad sign. I wouldn't be happy with it.

I like Booh Do you live near me in the event that my cm becomes unavailable?

Lots of different views here but it is the care your children will get that is the most important issue - that care is not just the personal attention and warmth from the childminder but also health and safety.

If the house was untidy was it still generally clean? Untidyness does not necessarily mean unclean. However, the kitchen is one room in the house where hygiene is a top priority - preparing and serving food etc. Also, did you see her toilet/bathroom facilities (the other room in the house where hygiene is of paramount importance!), which she might well use for nappy-changes and obviously will use for those older children who are "self-sufficient" in that department!

The damaged fence would definitely present a safety/security issue and presumably preclude children from playing in the garden until it was repaired.

As a childminder, I always say you cannot judge a book by its cover so do look beyond what you first see. As well as prospective parents coming to see me in my house, I also visit prospective mindees in their houses as that helps me understand their expectatations. Coral mentioned about prospective parents visiting when she is busy working and I fully agree but I also like parents to visit at the weekend when I am not working as I believe it is vital for them to meet my whole family and indeed for me to meet theirs. When you see the whole family you get a better overall feel.

Of course, careful scrutiny of the Ofsted inspections is vital but what about asking her for some references of current users of her service - you may find that beneath the mis-matching furniture and the breakfast dishes remaining unwashed, is a trustworthy and dependable childminder who is putting her time and energy into her work with good results.

op - thanks for cheering me up. I'm off work with a bad back and the 'matching sofas' deal-breaker comment tickled me

Ok I am going to go against the grain here - I am a childminder and my house is very clean, very well decorated nice furniture, immaculate garden etc

Yes the children make a mess, and things get broken and my walls get marked, carpets get grubby but nothing a bit or paint or the carpet cleaner can sort out!

Yes I admit sometime there maybe dishes waiting, but I will catch up with those when the little ones dont need me.

I also use a childminder and her house is immaculate too - most of my friends are childminders and we pretty all much live in nice houses.

Oh and I do have to agree about the front garden 'curb appeal' anyone? I have even been known to get the car washed before a prospective parent comes!

You need to distinguish shabby furnishings/decorations from mess, grime and lack of daily maintenance. I can quite understand why a CM wouldn't have lots of glamorous new furniture, and it really doesn't matter, but mess and dirt and generally poor housekeeping will have an impact on your DC's daily experience. If I were choosing a CM I would put clean, tidy and organised right at the top of my list of qualities to be looking for.

'It also smelled musty when I walked in.' - not good! I'd be turned off by that also tbh

If a parent is coming to visit I will do my best to make the place presentable because first impressions are very important, I also try to make a bit more of an effort with my appearance. Of course as everyone on here says your gut feeling and how comfortable your child is with the cm is top of the list but I see no reason for a cm to not make an effort if she knows she has a visitor coming.

i think it all boils down to that gut feeling. if it does not feel right, then don't take one of those CMs on. keep looking.

good luck!

But how do you know she had the morning free? When you work (CM or something else) any 'freetime' may be used to attend meetings, interviewing with parents such as yourself, taking her own children to school/activities. Doing chores outside the home, planning activities for her charges.

You cannot say that she had time to wash up, just because you think she had the morning to herself!

I had a CM for 6 weeks for dd1 & used her at a later date for 3 months, I also had 2 god-daughters who used her over several years.

She was unorganised housework wise, but she was a fantastic CM! My dd & god daughters loved her. She offered advice if needed, always went the extra mile. She started at 8, but 3 days a week for 3 months she started at 7 to accommodate me, as I started at 8.

The part of the house she used to CMing had older carpets, mismatched furniture, but it always looked clean & well kept. I think you are being overly critical, tbh.

When I first started looking for CMs I had very clear ideas about what I was looking for - nice clean house, no pets etc. etc. as my precious spotless offspring couldn't possibly be exposed to anything remotely.....unclean. I interviewed a few CMs who were perfectly OK, but none of them blew me away; then I met G, whose house was chaotic and a little rough around the edges, who had cats and a huge hairy dog, but she immediately swept DS out of my arms and took him on a tour, tickled him and made him laugh, and you could see the rapport she had with kids straight away. She looked after DS for a year; he came home every day slightly grubby and covered in dog hair, but exhausted and happy, and I never regretted my decision. A definite case of heart over head. Look beyond the surroundings at the person who'll be looking after your child.

You have got to be 100% comfortable. It has been said before that 'shabby' is very different to 'dirty'. Shabby wouldn't put me off but dirty would. You can tell if the mess has been caused by playing or whether the place is not cleaned.

When I chose my CM my head was happy but my heart wasn't but I went with what my head was saying and regret it. I am not 100% happy so we are moving.

It obviously bothers you so see some other childminders in the area. I'd keep looking until I felt happy. I for example would not choose a childminder with dogs or cats ... just because my girl is absolutely terrified because of a bad experience she had had.

If there are toys lying about that they've played with, I'm not bothered by that. The toys are clean and that's what matters. And ds is walking around on and sitting on clean floors.

I love my cm. Her house is a real "home", too, because of her warm personality.