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Original poster

Is this a normal thing for CM to do?

36 replies

Theresnoplacelikehome · 12/05/2010 12:28

I like my daughter being with a CM. Before she was at aschool I liked that she would get a normal every day routine, a home away from home etc.

Now she is at school she is only at the CM after school for 3 hrs til 6pm. SO I see it as chance for her to do activities and play with the other kids.

However, I found out yesterday that in the last week she has been sat for 1.5hrs in the drs surgery as CM own son had an appointment and then yesterday she and the other mindees (babies) were taken straight to CM's sons judo class from school and all had to sit on the bench for an hour whilst he did his class. She says they will now be doing this once a week.

It's annoyed me a bit. Surely one of the things you have to sacrifice if you are a CM is the fact that your own kids can't do after school clubs if you have other mindees who will be sat there for an hour. I pay her to take my child to watch her own do judo?

I don't want to moan if this is a generally accepted thing for CM to do though... what are your thoughts?

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Eddas · 12/05/2010 13:38

my ds sees the other cm regualarly as my cm and the other one only have 1 mindee each, both boys roughly the same age so they meet up often to visit toddler groups etc. I think the other cm was going to my cm's house to sit with ds and her mindee whilst she went to the doctors. My ds is 3 so maybe it makes me a little less worried

QSnondomicile · 12/05/2010 13:34

Would your dd want to join the Judo class?

If she is not keen on judo, I would look for a different childminder.

Original poster
Theresnoplacelikehome · 12/05/2010 13:33

Well Eddas, I certainly wouldn't let my dd just be dropped off with a CM's friend who I didn't know. CM or not I would like to get to know someone before I let them care for my child.

OP posts:
dobby2001 · 12/05/2010 13:32

When I first started childminding my daughter was already attending a gymnastics club after school. I told every parent of this when they visited so those who were not happy to choose to go to another cm if they preferred. As it happened everyone was fine and in fact i only had 2 babies then, one of whom would nap about that time and the other would sit in the cafe with me and have a snack. DD was in reception and the class was only 45mins so no chance to drop off and go logistically. If I had school age children they could ave had the option of joining the club themselves.

Now DD is in yr4 and her school has alot of after school clubs. I also mind a 7 and 8 year old from the same school and as parents we have already discussed if the girls want to do any after school activities they either do them on the same day or when not with me. My basic rule being that I want to be flexible and also dont want my daughter to miss out but equally I have very young children to care for and I will only do one trip up to school to collect and that has to be at a time that complements naps/meals etc.

I think it is sad to assume a cms child should not be allowed to go to ANY after school activities - it is not them that chose to become a CM after all, but as I have described, everyone - cm and parents need to make arrangements with discussion and consideration. Drs appt should have been checked out though.

Eddas · 12/05/2010 13:30

I would speak to her about the Judo but wouldn't mentioned the doctors. Even for a regular appointment she may have not wanted him to miss school for it, and let's face it she probably thought she'd only be in the doctors for a short time not 1.5 hours. She probably just got held up with the normal waiting around.

My cm had a doctors appointment today, she had one mon when ds doesn't go but was mis-diagnosed and needed to go back ASAP so had to take first appointment possible. I was a bit when she said that ds would be looked after by her cm friend. She didn't ask just told me But I won't say anything, afterall what should I expect her to do?

Original poster
Theresnoplacelikehome · 12/05/2010 13:18

I am definitely going to say something.

The doctors appointment wasnt an emergency, just a general appointment, but I have to do mine around my working hours - often taking dd to late evening doctors, or Saturday morning surgery - she could even have taken him early morning as she doesnt have mindees til the afternoon.

The judo is the one that got me. She had my daughter, another school age child and two toddlers. It was a one hour lessons plus the drive there and back. So my daughter got picked up from school at 3.05 and was back to the CM at about 5pm for quick tea then I came to collect her. I and all the other parents are paying for our kids to be sat on a bench bored stiff.

Atworknotworking - I totally agree, I know CM generally put the mindees first and their kids often go without in the way of one on one attention and being able to go to clubs. But it's a job isn't it and whilst I'm sure it has it'sperks like not having to pay for outside childcare, all jobs have some element of sacrifice.

OP posts:
atworknotworking · 12/05/2010 12:42

Doctors appts can be bit tricky, if it was an emergency appointment then I can understand why she would have to take mindees along. But I would have expected her to either have phoned you to let you know asap or if not enough time to tell you at pick up.

WRT the Judo, quite simply NOPE not on and I find it quite rude of her to do this. You are quite right in what you say when you become a CM your family's needs sadly come last . My own DD has missed out on after school clubs as they were inconvinient to the routines of the mindees. Thats just life, she accepts that and doesnt complain, but it makes me feel like crap.

There is another thread up at the moment about CM's juggling work with family, it's hard, I always do this when someone says it must be nice to work from home so you see more of your own kids.

withorwithoutyou · 12/05/2010 12:42

Doctor's wouldn't bother me.

I think every week at Judo I'd expect to be asked about.

But I'm not sure it would really bother me if there was stuff taken along to entertian her.

Basically, for me, anything goes as long as DD doesn't get put in front of the TV. But then my DD is only 21 months and I specifically chose a c/m over a nursery as I don't want her having really structured, insitutionalised days.

Different for a 6 year old I suppose.

CMOTdibbler · 12/05/2010 12:39

The doctors, fair enough, as it would be a one off, emergency sort of thing, but I wouldn't be happy for her to be sat watching the judo class for an hour every week

Daisydaydreamer · 12/05/2010 12:38

I am a CM I would ask parents 1st if it was ok for them to go along to the dr's appointment if not they can come and collect their children ealier, if her son was ill what did you expect her to do?
As for the Judo class why can't she drop him off then go and collect him later or arrange a later class?

Haliborange · 12/05/2010 12:37

I don't think it is acceptable, although I have never used a childminder. My problem with it is that CMs are supposed to be professional childcarers, not just hands-off babysitting types and she should be actively looking after and engaging your DD, not just being physically with her.

We all occasionally have to arrange work around our families but it should be in extremis, not a regular thing.