Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

CMs - To quit or not to quit, that is the question???

34 replies

needtoregaincontrol · 25/04/2010 18:50

I've had a terribly weepy day today and although I've other stuff going on in my life, I know most of my upset is over the childminding business.

Where do I start.....???!!!!

I've been doing this job for 5 yrs and most of the time love my job but tbh, I'm feeling TOTALLY OVERWHELMED It's not the actual 'caring' for the children, that can be challenging at times but I find that much easier than the paperwork!

I bet if others were to hear what's on my 'to do' list for childminding, they would think it's not all that much but FOR ME it is. Ds2 is a major handful and I started back working when he was only very young still, unfortunately the very day EYFS commenced. I am such a perfectionist that because I'm not doing all these wonderful things I have in my head, I feel like a rubbish childminder Because I have all this stuff in my head, I'm feeling overwhelmed and therefore getting behind on things I used to do just fine. So I'm doing LESS than I was, all because my head is full of everything (stress!). I feel like I'm sinking fast and tbh, this weekend have thought of nothing more than quitting.

I DON'T want to quit, I need to get my life into some kind of order but HOW?

I recently had a week off and spent hours and hours putting together proper EYFS files together so I felt better and thought I knew where to pick up when I had more time. The problem is, I'm still trying to find my own system I'm happy with and therefore need thinking time with my files, something I don't get with my kids. I'm working on getting the kids out of the house more but dh says 'you'll always be behind, you'll never catch up!' so it's not helping me get motivated. I feel he's right but then I'm sure if I had a massive load of time to catch up with EVERYTHING, once I have my system in place I should be fine. I hope so anyway.

I just don't know what to do to get on top of it all. I'm so exhausted in the evenings I can't focus on this type of stuff so I thought that if I had some weekends to catch up, once I know exactly how I'm going to do things, I can do bits in the evenings and it won't feel so bad.

I don't know what I'm asking for really? Just felt it was time I snapped out of this feeling very sorry for myself and try and sort my life out. All I want is to care for the children and do what I need to do paperwork wise without constantly pushing my kids away at weekends

Any advice welcome or even hand holding would be very much appreciated.

Thanks if you got this far. Oh and if any others feel like I do, come and join me and lets try to get ourselves sorted!!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Original poster
needtoregaincontrol · 26/04/2010 09:20

I feel I've already taken a lot of your time up and that was really helpful. I think I have a 'cloud' over my head atm which is why I'm struggling.

My main concern is putting together a quarterly report. I need to put 'something' together for 2 of my pre-schoolers and I'm worried about them chasing me soon so I guess that's my priority. They gave me a form which tbh, is rubbish and I don't know what they want so would much rather do a proper report like you do. I just need to do it but struggling with where to start.

Cakes are always good .

Anyway, I'll probably talk to you at drop in tomorrow?

OP posts:
HSMM · 26/04/2010 08:42

Shall I bring round cakes?

Anyway. About the paperwork. Forget what you haven't done in the past and just start from today. Come round any time to have a look at my paperwork. I have cut down some of what I do.

Original poster
needtoregaincontrol · 26/04/2010 08:22

Just a quick message to say thanks for all the replies and sorry I didn't come back (wasn't in a good place yesterday!!).

I think a lot of personal stuff has got in the way too and it's just spiraled out of control. EYFS training started when I was pregnant, I took 12 weeks maternity leave thinking I'd get fully up to date on EYFS (read all my pack, get a system etc) but ds2 suffered from the birth and was in pain a lot so was a nightmare baby. I started back when he was 10 weeks old, having 4 children aged 19 months and under to look after and tbh, EYFS was left whilst I tried to manage these children on a daily basis (8 month old screamed a lot at groups as had been away from me for 12 weeks so breastfeeding was a nightmare). Then ds2 went through a phase of feeding every 2 hours for 4 MONTHS and I was utterly exhausted and not really looking after myself, I think this all took it toll I started bottle feeding when he was 5/6 months and that helped but it was all still a challenging time with these ages so all my energy went into the general 'caring' of these children. Don't get me wrong, it was great fun too and they are all so close, just tiring and I had no energy for EYFS outside of my 7.30am-6pm day.

So all that and then a stressful last year (malicious complaint made, awful Ofsted inspector who I had to complain about and the stupid actions she set took 6 months of thorough complaint processes to get removed!). I've had lots of stuff going on medically (mri scans, brain scan showed something, more tests etc etc) which has stressed me more than I first thought plus dh got made redundant, came on board with me, had 8 children lots of days (6 aged 1/2) and guess who ended up with all the extra paperwork, who still did all the cooking, most of the proper caring etc. We've finally stopped working together now as he's just had an operation (so I'm doing absolutely everything at home too as he's stuck in bed).

God, what a moaner I am!!! lol What I'm trying to say is that I don't think circumstances have helped much. I'm aware that some of you may now recognise me but tbh, I'm past caring, I just didn't want to use my normal name in case I'm 'searched' (which happens at times!!)

Anyway, I'm determined to snap out of this. We're actually having a holiday this year (don't usually, maybe every 5/6 yrs but last time was only 3 yrs ago but I told dh I was having one whether he liked it or not ).

What I need is for dh to get better and start sorting PROPER trips out with the kids at the weekends so I can thoroughly catch up. I WILL catch up, it's just going to take a while!

Help prioritising would be great, I'll come back later with a list

I'm not on CAT so can't do that I'm afraid.

I'm not due an inspection for another 2 years so that's something. The only thing mentioned at my last inspection (6 months post EYFS commencing) was that I needed a better system for obs etc. She said this was the thing that stopped me getting overall outstanding so I guess I really want this sorting for next time!

Thanks so much for letting me vent on here, it HAS helped So much for 'quick' message

OP posts:
atworknotworking · 26/04/2010 07:27

Awww you sound so down chuck, send a list of what you need doing and we'll plod away with it

You shouldn't have to feel like this, although I know exactly what you mean, I don't think any CM is actually up to date their is always something else that needs tweaking / updating / implimenting, you are certainly not alone.

Are you due an inspection soon? if so send a timeline so we can get sorted.

Am on CAT

pinksmarties · 25/04/2010 23:33

@ UNDERPAID

underpaidandoverworked · 25/04/2010 22:29

I quit last year for the very reasons you are describing. Had few kids on books and was spending more time on paperwork than being a cm, for very little reward.

HOWEVER... after coming out of it and going to work in a playgroup, I realised that it was the most fab profession there is. In the playgroup I was paid more, the kids loved me, but I missed being my own boss and running things my way - which was actually the right way .

Have just started up again and feel soooo much calmer than I did a year ago. Ofsted themselves dont have a clue about what we do - they come out and cross the 't's, dot the 'i's but what matters is the children we look after and the care we provide for them. I used to stress about paperwork, obs/assessments but am not going to now. I couldnt give a stuff that I am the only 'good' childminder round here - all the rest are 'outstanding' , I know that I am good at what I do and am proud of it .

Feel free to CAT me if you want to chat - been there, done that and the t-shirt is now in the recycling bin.

HSMM · 25/04/2010 21:43

Take a step back and don't knock yourself out trying to do EVERYTHING that Ofsted want. It is NOT possible! Find a local CM to talk to and just spend the day together chilling out with your children in a group. You never know, you might even have time for a cuppa. It gets on top of us all sometimes and we just have to stop and look at why we are doing it.

pippin26 · 25/04/2010 20:43

first of all BREATHE and to be doing this job for 5 years is a pretty long time.

It sounds like you are having a tough time and as BoysARe has said you need to:
prioritise what needs doing
break it down futher into managable chunks.

Then congratulate yourself with a job well done. We don't do enough of that, recognising our own hardwork (and not just as a minder, as a parent, wife/hubby, etc).
Reward yourself.

Check out www.childmindingforum.co.uk for more help, tips and advice as well.

We all get behind on stuff, my paperwork is woefully behind but my coursework takes precedence over learning journals at the moment. I have scraps of paper and photos stuffed into folders ready for write up at some point!.

Its all about finding a system that works for you hun.

Sending you a huge hug.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 25/04/2010 19:09

the answer is to divide the paperwork into sizes that can be 'nibbled' at

no one can face doing a massive amount of paperwork in one go

I have a system that I call TenTenLoaf - ten minutes on one thing, ten minutes on another then ten minutes loafing (cup of tea, bit of MN, paint me nails)

Try it and see if it works for you

and yes, once you have a system then it almost runs itself

chin up x x x

Swipe left for the next trending thread