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Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Should my CM ensure baby gets some sleep?

31 replies

herbaceous · 25/04/2010 13:05

Hello

My 9mo DS has been going to a childminder for about a month, for two days a week. But he's just not settling, sometimes crying pretty much all day long. This is heartbreaking, as at home he's a jolly little soul.

This may well be separation anxiety, but I think it's also because he doesn't get enough sleep there.

At home he's recently started to have a huge morning nap of about 2.5 hours. But the CM takes her toddler charges out during the morning, so DS has to go along in the pushchair, in which he won't sleep.

Then, back at the CM, the cot is in the room where the other children will be playing, so he's lucky if he gets much sleep there.

I realise to some extent he's got to fit in with what goes on at the CM, but should I get a bit fierce with her and ask her to ensure he gets his naps? It would make her life easier, too, as he wouldn't cry all day!

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belgo · 25/04/2010 13:21

Do speak to her and look for a solution together. One month is still very early days, the chances are high that he will settle down and things will get better.

If after three or four months you are still having the same problems, then I would think about other child care options.

herbaceous · 25/04/2010 13:19

Oh, and Belgo she doesn't have a vacancy for a baby for more days a week.

The infrequency is part of the problem too, I think. He goes there Thursdays and Fridays, so the gap between is so big he has to get used to it all over again. He remembers enough to start crying as soon as we get to her front door, however!

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herbaceous · 25/04/2010 13:17

Thanks.

Annoyingly, his habit of huge napping only started about the time he went to the CM. Prior to that he'd have about 45 mins at a time, often in the pushchair, so I didn't think it was going to be a problem.

I agree she would go crazy staying in all day with the toddler, and annoyingly all the toddler activities are in the morning.

I really don't want to have to find another CM, as it took me months to find this one, and she's only over the road!

Also, if it is separation anxiety aswell, it won't help.

I'm wondering if a nanny at home might be a better bet. Though so expensive it will be hardly worth my while working...

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belgo · 25/04/2010 13:13

How experienced is she as a CM? It is very hard to get a baby to sleep if they don't want to.

Don't get fierce with her, but do talk to her, and together formulate a plan of action to help him get the sleep he needs eg. make sure he has his favourite teddy bear, singing a favourite lulluby; if possible can he sleep separate from the other children etc.

Also two days a week is not very much, can he go more days a week for a few weeks to have a good chance to settle in? And then go back to two days a week?

alarkaspree · 25/04/2010 13:12

Your CM should certainly put the cot in a different room so that your baby can sleep better whilst at her house. I don't think you can expect her to stay at home all morning with the toddler though.

It does sound as if separation anxiety is a big part of the problem, I hope it improves soon.

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 25/04/2010 13:10

I am a CMer and i have just had to give up a full-timer because he would just cry all day and it was so stressful and hard to concentrate on the other mindees- everyone was losing out so I ended the contract.

There is not really much you can do about his naps to be honest- this should have been discussed at the beginning as the logistics are important. Can the CMer put him in a seperate room to sleep? She may not be able to as it needs to be registered and made safe.

Have you discussed things with her- calmly? There is no point in getting 'fierce' with somebody if they don't even know what the problem is?

I would have a chat with her first and see what she comes up with. If there is no way around nap times then it may be worth you finding another CMer who does not go out and about during nap times.