Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

finding a nanny - do i really *need* a someone who can drive?

34 replies

bossykate · 28/07/2005 15:04

hi everyone

i'm trying to find a nanny at the moment and am finding it tough going. i need after school and holiday cover and i suppose there aren't so many people in this market. i've found that a number of otherwise interviewable candidates can't drive - so i'm asking myself do i really need a driver?

The issue is how can picking up dd from nursery on public transport/walking be integrated with ds's school pick up? There are 2 possible scenarios.

(1) 2.30pm pick up dd from nursery, walk or get bus from nursery to school to pick up ds at 3.10pm.

Major disadvantage of this option is that dd will be picked up at 2.30pm - we are paying for the whole day at nursery! Doesn't seem like a good bargain to me.

(2) 3.10pm pick up ds from school, walk/get bus to nursery, arrive nursery 3.40pm. Pick up dd. Leave nursery 3.50pm. Walk/get bus home - get home 4.20/4.30pm.

the major disadvantage of this option is that poor ds is spending nearly an hour and a half going to and fro dd's nursery, when he could be in the park or doing something more fun.

dd's nursery pick up is the only reason we might need a driver - there are plenty of activities within walking distance or easily accessible by public transport. ds's school is 5min walk from the house.

dh says he can always pick up dd himself (he does the pick ups at the moment) but i feel if we are still going to have the bother of picking dd up we might as well go with a childminder.

any advice appreciated - this is doing my head in and i need to update my ads on monday!

thanks in advance

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
batters · 09/08/2005 14:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

batters · 06/08/2005 22:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
bossykate · 05/08/2005 18:18

update for those in suspense!

have decided i don't in fact need a driver, dd would just have to be picked up a bit earlier than i'd like - ok, i'll live with it if the right person doesn't drive.

we are now trying to decide between a v. nice nanny and a v. nice childminder!!!

thanks again for all the help on this thread

for anyone who would like to hear more of the bossyfamily peregrinations in the desperate search for after school childcare, don't worry i have other issues for your attention

OP posts:
soapbox · 31/07/2005 21:29

Bk - i think it seems such a tough call because you care and because you want the abolute best for both your children. There's nothing wrong in any of that is there???

TBH - having a full time nanny is just the same as what you would be doing if you or DH was at home, and what children have had for many many years in teh past. They have a mixture of quite focused one on one when at home and get plenty of socialisation when they go to mother and toddlers, or tumbeltots or other such classes.

Most qualified nannies are very genned up on educational play and so you can expect lots of singing rhymes, arts and crafts, learning letters. Also lots of walks in the park picking up leaves, naming trees and birds, keeping a diary etc.

It might now be your ideal, but it is workable and probably 'good enough'

The biggest difference though will be the weight that they take off of you, and you sound like you could all do with a break right now

JOSIE3 · 31/07/2005 21:19

Have you thought about nany share?

That way you would be able to offer a nanny full time hours and therefore you may have more candidates, surely one of whom would drive?

Original poster
bossykate · 31/07/2005 20:56

can anyone bear more of my whinging on this? people have real problems, fhs!

saw a v. nice cm on friday - after lengthy discussion with dh, we have decided we would in the ideal world go for a nanny, simply because that option takes some of the stress off us in a way that outside-home-childcare simply doesn't.

i am now very tempted to go for a ft nanny - even thought this would be a much more expensive option, and more importantly, not really what we want in the ideal world, simply because we are run a bit ragged as it is and i'm going to start a new and much more stressful and demanding job in sept.

don't really want to do this, but....

now i have to discuss with dh, who wants to have the cake (dd getting the benefits of nursery) and eat it too (get some of the burden lifted off him in the evening - he normally does the pm routine). as usual he is bereft of ideas, but is good at throwing spokes in whatever i suggest

how pathetic are we? hundreds of thousands of parents have to face this - why are we making such heavy weather of it

OP posts:
nooka · 29/07/2005 21:44

nannies are certainly good for reducing stree, but I think it depends on how old your dd is, and how important her nursery is to her. You could alway compramise and have her go to nursery for fewer days a week. Our dd did three days this year (she's just off to school now) and it worked out well.

soapbox · 29/07/2005 21:38

Actually BK - Having thought it through, are you completely wedded to DD going to nursery.

I really do think having a FT nanny would make all your lives so much easier and if you get a good one then they will make sure that DD doesn't miss out too much on the socialisation she would get at nursery.

I think a FT nanny would make life for both your children seem just like having mum or dad at home, and for you there would be the benefit of having lots of the children's things taken care of.

I know it is a very difficult decision for you - and I know from before that you preferred nursery for DD, but if having a FT nanny makes life a bit easier, doesn;t that count for a lot too in terms of stress!!

soapbox · 29/07/2005 21:17

Tell me about it

TBH - I feel as if my life is one long compromise!

Original poster
bossykate · 29/07/2005 21:15

thank you

i have really got tied up in knots over this - this is what happens when i have a very clear idea of what i want and am faced with the grim reality of compromise...

OP posts:
soapbox · 29/07/2005 21:09

BK - TBH I'd mix it so that they both get a fair deal IYSWIM.

M,W, F do option 2, T, TH do option 1. Or the reverse if you like!

Don't see why it has to be the same every day!

Original poster
bossykate · 29/07/2005 20:35

one more bump as i am going to bed shortly - utterly exhausted atm.

having mulled it over a bit more...

(1) should i just hold out for someone who can drive, on the grounds that it's not a particularly unusual/unreasonable requirement for a nanny?

(2) should i just start interviewing non drivers as well because otherwise i mightn't find anyone at all? getting increasingly worried about this i think it could work although it is not ideal.

(3) is there any chance i might find a cm who would be willing to pick up dd?

(4) should i just resign myself to the fact that ds will be at a cm and dd will be at nursery and our lives are going to get even harder than they are now?

thanks to those who have posted useful constructive comments up to now and hoping to here more views

OP posts:
Original poster
bossykate · 29/07/2005 19:34

a bump for the evening crowd

OP posts:
harpsichordcarrier · 29/07/2005 09:04

I think there are many more important considerations in choosing a nanny/childcare than the ability to drive, tbh. If you can get the right person then not getting a "bargain" / value for money at nursery is surely going to be a really small consideration? I think the idea of taking turns is a good one.

Original poster
bossykate · 29/07/2005 08:22

thank you for these responses

lm - i honestly don't think a car will be needed for holiday activities. swimming, park, friends, soft play - all within walking distance. local public transport is very good, so provided the person was willing to use it for outings in the holiday, it should be fine. i really think the car would only be a bonus for dd's nursery pick up by car it's a 20/25min round trip, but as i said getting on for 1.5hr round trip on foot/by bus.

will come back to this later today, but in the meantime i'd be delighted to have any more advice.

thanks again

OP posts:
Ladymuck · 28/07/2005 22:45

BK - what will you end up doing in holidays (or rather what do you want your nanny to do in holidays?). Are all your activities walkable? For example I have to drive to swimming and lots of playdates (ds1's "best friend" lives 4 miles away).

sfg · 28/07/2005 21:03

bossy kate I think this is a time/money thing - your money and your kids' time

I can't make that call for you.

SoftFroggie · 28/07/2005 18:15

prob a daft idea, but could you pay for a cab from nursery to school? then walk home from school?

if you are paying for both nursery and nanny, why do you prefer to have dd in nursery and not earlier collection by nanny? or is it just the time wasted on buses?

i'd get dd first, and not have ds doing all that travelling.

or combine - one day cab, one dd first, one ds first, one dh gets ds....

or get nanny to start at lunch time and drop dd's nursery place to half-days, again, you could do this on just one or two days.

WideWebWitch · 28/07/2005 16:31

Drastic but could you change nursery so it's nearer ds's school and less of a walk? No, that's a rubbish idea. Lunavix's idea sounds good but involves dragging ds on a bit of a walk at a rubbish time doesn't it? Or, can you get the nursery to agree a 2.30 pick up is a half day? Are they oversubscribed? Sorry, another rubbish idea. Massive sympathy.

Original poster
bossykate · 28/07/2005 16:08

quick bump before everyone goes home/starts tea etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
bossykate · 28/07/2005 15:38

sorry, my typing is really pants today.

OP posts:
Original poster
bossykate · 28/07/2005 15:37

maybe i can hang around the school gates and kidnap any likely looking candidates at the beginning of terms!

maybe senorapostrophe is right and the not driving thing just isn't such a big deal...

any other views

OP posts:
lunavix · 28/07/2005 15:27

oh dear

door knock?? Approach mums at school gate??

Original poster
bossykate · 28/07/2005 15:20

i'm in london sw2 and have tried cis, simply childcare, gumtree, nannyjob and have advertised in the school newsletter!

OP posts:
lunavix · 28/07/2005 15:17

Whereabouts are you? From memory not near me

I take it you've tried the usual vacancy coordinator/CIS routes?