Normal for a night nanny to be heavily asleep (not hear baby being sick etc)?

Hi newmummy100

Congratulations on the birth of your newborn.

Sorry to hear about your problems. I wonder if you are in my area as I would love to help.

I am a professional nanny who, as of next week will be working only part time for my current employer which frees up 4 mornings a week Monday-Thursday.

I am in the Chichester area, if by chance you are near me and I can help please do get in touch

Nikki x

congrats on your new arrival

agree with what's been said aboug the night nanny! she is worse than useless and costing you money!

A mothers help who oculd help with both children and a few househols chores would be much better IMO

I have done this kind of role lots of times,and it works really well

sometimes I take the baby off for a feed,settle etc while Mum spent time with the toddler

and other times I took the toddler to groups,activities,the park etc to give Mum bonding time / sleeping with the baby etc

I also tidied up and would pop out and get something from the shops / put away an online shop

You have had a c section,you should be trying to rest as much as poss,and a Mothers Help would be the best,I think so you have help during the day

If your hubby isn't home until late,you could even have someone stay and help with the bath / bedtime routine

advertise / look on gumtree,netmums etc
good luck

xx

Hi Newmummy - I'm the poster looking for a night nanny. Could you message me just to let me know who I should be avoiding? Thanks.

It sounds like you have found a really good solution, newmummy - and the nights will get better, I assure you. If your nanny can do the odd night, and let you get some sleep as well - even better!

It might be worth ignoring the baby a bit when the toddler is around - he might be feeling that he's having to play second fiddle to the baby all the time - ie when you are feeding the baby and invite him to sit with you, he is sitting by you whilst the baby is actually getting a cuddle.

If, between feeds, your dh or the nanny can take the baby for a while so that your ds feels he has your whole attention, that might help - you could offer a walk to the park to feed the ducks, or nipping out for an icelolly, or doing some activity that the baby won't be able to join in with - such as painting/gluing/colouring etc.

I know that earlier on in the thread I said to try to entice your ds into activities by appearing absorbed in them yourself, and appearing unconcerned whether or not he joins in - but if the baby is elsewhere with your dh or the nanny, your ds will still see that he is having 1-2-1 time with you, without the baby, and you can still use this technique to entice him into playing with you - if you see what I mean - I'm not sure I'm expressing it too well.

newmummy How great for you that you've sorted things so quickly!!

Just to let you know, I do night nannying as well (have had several newborns including twins) and am not far from you at all. My e-mail is [email protected] if you'd like to have a chat - I'm not particularly 'on the market' for work but would love to help you out even for a couple of nights if you need.

Sorry you had a bad night but fantastic news that you saw several ladies and have got help sorted and that dh has got extra time off

kwym about snuffly/snoring babies. Baby I had 2 nights last week was 4 weeks and made a right racket when stirring. Mummy said it was fab having baby in with me and was thinking about putting in own room each night

my 3rd charge was in her own room at 6 weeks as snores at night and MB said she didn't get any sleep as either baby on right or dh on left were snoring and she didn't get a wink if sleep lol

try not to let your toddler bother you too much(easier said then done)

my daughter did this and what worked for us was saying "your baby" instead of the baby, so i used to say, would you like tochoose what your baby will wear today, what blanket does your baby want etc

am very pleased you have got things sorted

has your milk come in yet? If not, things will settle

my lifesaver was learning to feed laying down so DD would feed and sleep and so would i

best of luck ...

Paula, same with baby I have she is such a fidget she wakes me an hr before she needs a feed as she starts to fidget around bless her, even a little splutter or sneeze and I am wide awake.

I am truely shocked that this person is a night nanny and someone obv gave her a good reference for you to employ her.

Newmummy there is a new thread for someone asking how to find a night nanny for twins in london suggested she send you a message so she isnt unfortunate enough to employ the same person - Also Paulamummyknowsbest thought you may be interested if you are not booked up for ever and ever as you seem so popular.

you poor thing!

Where did you get the "night nanny" from? If you got her from an agency, make sure they are aware of how awful she was.

Most night nannies (myself included) are nothing like that. We "sleep" very lightly and are awake and dealing with the baby long before any one else in the house gets woken by the baby.

The baby I am currently working with gets wriggly in her bed and that wakes me up as I know she is coming into a light sleep and may need something.

I hope that you managed to find someone else to help you with your baby and little one.

Hope last night went well for you, perhaps if you need a night nanny maybe just to do a couple of nights a week so you get some sleep and feel refreshed someone on here who is experienced and much more professional than the night nanny you had can help you out.

Also if you struggle to find a maternity nanny or a mothers help contact the agency www.kidsmatter.uk.com

you may find that you can get a lovely daily maternity nanny who will do a couple of nights as well as if you need it.

well done on getting rid of the night nanny you had that was very brave of you especially at a time when you must have been debating the whole I need the help but not this kind of help!!

how did last night go?

Ours is a big ladybird one - I think it's called the piano book but will check. I got it in a big mothercare.

Sounds like you definitely made the right decision by getting rid of her!!

I hope your first night went well, and that the maternity nurse and Mum's Help makes things a lot easier for you.

weddingseason - that sounds like a great tip - will search something like that out for when my time comes in August.

My godsend for occupying my toddler while breastfeeding was a nursery rhyme book that played the tunes so he would push the buttons and I would sing my little heart out!

i have been in a similar situation, with a 18 month old, a newborn and recovering from a CS.

You have done exactly the right thing in looking for day time help. is there no way that your Dh could take more time off work ? its such a wonderful opportunity for him to bond with his son and do some of the things mum cant do ( temporarily)?

i would suggest that baby sleeps in your bedroom and your Dh gets up at night to pass the baby to you - remember you shoudln't be lifting baby yet

my toddler coped ok with me sitting on the sofa, bf the baby on a pillow on my lap. i don't know if he even noticed him very much, as he was always wrapped in a blanket. he was got more upset that i coudlnt lift him, carry, bathe or change him

Good luck for tonight newmummy. I am sure you will do fine! Keep posting

Well done for getting rid of her. She was useless and doesn't sound as if she knows what she is doing

I pity her daytime family

where did you find her?

Well done & best wishes

You will do great! Are you opposed to the baby sleeping with you and feeding laying down? If not, this makes it soooo much easier ime, especially for you with pain getting up and down from cs.

That nn sounds horrid. She didn't even try to defend herself... weird.

Good for you in the midst of all this taking charge and getting everything sorted so quickly!

Good luck.

You will be fine.

Don't have any expectations.

newmummy - what did you say to the nanny and was she polite about it?

I'm glad that the advice given here has helped, newmummy, and I hope you find the right balance of help for you.

Perhaps you could try a little reverse psychology on the toddler - pick a time when the baby is asleep, and start doing something really interesting, but make no fuss at all about it - be absorbed and enjoying yourself but unworried about whether the toddler joins in, and they may well come and start playing.

I was thinking of something like painting - and when the toddler does join in and is enjoying themself, you can make some sort of casual comment about how nice it is to be able to do something with him that the baby is too much of a baby to do - make him feel a bit special.

Just remember that he's not rejecting you, he's trying to get to grips with a changed situation, and with a bunch of things that have happened that he really doesn't understand - and that will settle down. My instinct would be not to make too big a thing of it - be normal and try not to worry too much - I know that that's not easy when you are hormonal and getting over a cs.

And like I said before - look after yourself too.