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Original poster

Is my nanny acting inappropriately here - opinions please

105 replies

nannywobbles · 15/04/2010 11:08

I am a mumsnet regular but I've name-changed for this because I don't want to be identified.

I have recently recruited a new nanny to look after my children, the youngest of whom is 12 months old. We are currently in a 2 week handover period and I am going back to work next week, when she will take sole charge.

Yesterday, I took the older children out for a few hours and left the nanny to take care of the baby. When I returned home, I found her sitting on the sofa watching daytime television (not cbeebies, I mean some kind of game show) with the baby on her lap. She had some toys with her, and I think she was trying to keep the baby entertained whilst watching the television.

Now, my initial reaction was that this is totally inappropriate, but I would really welcome the mumsnet jury's view! Obviously I'm in a state of complete stress anyway what with going back to work and I don't want to overreact here.

I guess the following info might also help:

  1. She is a professional nanny with about 5 years experience, and we employ her professionally, i.e. we have a contract, we operate PAYE etc.
  1. I said that I wasn't comfortable with her watching TV and she said OK that's fine. Her previous employers were fine with it apparently. I didn't ask her how long the telly had been on for or for how long she would normally watch telly in an average day (I should have done, I know).
  1. I never watch daytime telly myself so I suppose I might be in danger of being a bit snobby about it - I mean if she'd been listening to radio 4 then maybe I would feel differently?
  1. I do have some reservations about how energetic she will be with the kids, but she's kind and responsive and obviously loves children.

So.... was this completely out of order? Or just a minor issue where different families take different approaches? Please help me put it into proportion!

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Original poster
nannywobbles · 15/04/2010 11:33

Thanks very much for replies so far -

Buzzingnoise - it was some kind of game show, but I know she was watching Jeremy Kyle the previous day whilst she was on her own in the house for a bit, i.e. not with the kids.

I guess I'd rather she was focussing on the baby while she had the chance - she hasn't really got to know him yet and in an average day I spend a lot of time trying to keep the baby occupied while I play with the others/cook/tidy up etc that I would certainly have enjoyed a bit of uninterrupted time with him.

Thebutterflyeffect - that's interesting that you would watch TV - you see, I think I would definitely try to listen to something on the radio or read a magazine for a bit so maybe it's just that I'm being snobby about the TV? But on the other hand I'm not being paid to be a mum and I certainly wouldn't watch telly in my paid job. I guess this is one of those areas that raises the old issue of the difference between a nanny and a regular employee.

I've never done a diary with previous nannies as it always struck me as being a bit OTT and a pain for the nanny, but maybe that'sa good way forward whilst I establish trust.

And a both raise a v good point about the difference between adult/shouting tv and other tv - thank you!

OP posts:
BariatricObama · 15/04/2010 11:33

its a job, you pay her to look after your kids not sit watching telly.

andagain · 15/04/2010 11:25

Hello there,

I personally don't like watching daytime TV and don't like my DD watching it. I am not convinced that small children get anything out of it. I made this clear to all candidates when I interviewed potential nannies.
However, I think it is largely a matter of preference rather than a deal breaking or out of order kind of thing.
I think it is enough for you just to say that you don't like it and you would prefer her to have music on in the background rather than TV.
Just make your preferences and expectations very clear and I am sure it will be fine.

TheButterflyEffect · 15/04/2010 11:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

BuzzingNoise · 15/04/2010 11:10

If she was watching Jeremy Kyle I would be furious - too much anger and shouting.
What would you rather she was doing, just out of interest?