Advice / Opinions please? (Childminder issue)

Hi ToddlerYears,

Have you tried getting CM to walk your child home rather than put her in the buggy? That way she won't have the opportunity to fall asleep. If your DD has no health reason to be in the buggy then I can't see why she can't walk home?

I look after a 4yr old girl and sometimes after a busy weekend and a morning at pre-school she will be tired but she will only fall asleep if she's given long enough alone (if I have lunch or something to make for the smaller ones), so I just get her to help me, she loves making food for the little ones and we have a lovely chat while she does it, and best of all, she can't fall asleep!

yy pippin is right

children have a right to rest and sleep, and balancing this against the parents wishes can be tricky

Can nursery build a nap into dd's day ?

Do you think that she may be more difficult going to bed on the evenings that she has been to the cm's as a reaction to being away from you, rather than the fact that she has had a 10 min nap?

My ds went to a cm mornings only 3 days a week. Home days he would have an afternoon nap no problem and on the days that he had been to the cm he was always reluctant to sleep - almost like an 'I haven't seen you all morning Mummy, so I want to be with you now and not in bed.'

agree that children often sleep better for carers than parents, my 4yr still has the occassional sleep with me, and always slept till 3.5yrs, yet with mum refused to sleep from 2 3/4yrs (she was soooooooooooooo that i got him to sleep)

again 10mins shouldnt make a difference but if you really dont want your dc to sleep then cm should respect that (just as i respect that if 4yr sleeps more than hr, he may not be in bed at 7pm) so if he does sleep i always wake up

yes children are grumpy when they wake up but a good cm should be ablw to cope with that

how long is car journey from nursery to cm house?

is it much further than nursery to your house?

maybe cm can do singing/snack in car and then have 15mins tv time when home to let your dc chill out after nursery

My daughter (16 months) almost always has a late afternoon nap when she spends the day with her Dad, and basically never when she spends the day with me. Partly that's because we have different rhythms, but part of it just seems to be - well, I don't know, but she's in general more independent and less worshipping around him and more needy around me, so I suppose it's related to that? He's better at benign neglect, so she has learned to play more independently with him but is clingy with me. I suspect the sleeping has something to do with that - oh, it's Dad, might as well have a nap.

Anyway, I think it's not your CM's fault, it's perfectly possible that your daughter is just reacting differently to different people.

gosh, I have looked after a few children now who apparently never fall asleep with the parent but they always do with me. Perhaps I just bore them! lol

Seriously though, its a bit of a vicious circle, your child has a sleep in the afternoon, won't go to sleep at night and therefore is tired the next day, resulting in them falling asleep on the way home again..... cycle.

According to Ofsted/wellbing guidelines we are supposed to allow a child to sleep if they need it. We are not allowed to deprive a child of sleep - even with parents request as it could be considered abuse (and sleep deprivation is a form of torture).
However, there has to be a compromise.

How long is your child sleeping for? If it really is only for 10 minutes then it should not be affecting her so badly later on in the evening. I presume your child is an afternoon session child and I have found children who are afternoon session children do get more sleepy as they are 'missing' that vital rest/wind down period we all seem to get just after lunch.

Its a hard one to call on this one, your CM'er is not doing this on purpose to make your life harder but she is looking out for the childs welfare first and foremost - which is our primary concern.