new childminder parents help!!

Hi, I had a similar incident were by now its with the solicitors and was told because she didnt pay and i didnt do the 4 weeks notice i was in breach of contract aswell, as no matter what should do the 4weeks and then claim any short fall back through solicitors, just watch your back, there are many people trying to get something for nothing, (they were my 3rd family i signed)
go with your instincts and if you dont feel comfy dont take them on board

Good luck

My approach to settling in sessions is clearly the cold-turkey way of doing things in that the parents do not stay. I only find that if the parent is still in my house, the child is confused whatever the age. I don't think I am being hard and it certainly makes for a quicker settling child. My settling sessions are normally just two depending on circumstances so if mindee is a full-day child, I will normally suggest the first settling session includes one meal time, the second settling session includes two mealtimes. My contracts are not dated to commence until after the settling in sessions have taken place but I do charge my normal hourly rate for them. I know that everyone will need to handle their approach according to their style of running their setting - I tend to start minding children when their mothers first return to work, so typically the children are about 6-7 months (pretty clingy at that age!) but this approach has served the children, their parents and me well for the last 10-11 years. Good luck.

thanks skegness, Hayleycm feel free to steal it - either way I hope you get this issue sorted with the parent. Good luck!

Now that is a great settling-in policy, navyeyelasH. I'd nick it word for word and implement it if I were you, Hayleycm!

hayleycm, do you have a settling in policy? Here is mine if it helps.

Settling in
Settling into a new environment can be a difficult time for any child and their parent/carer; for this reason we tailor settling in sessions on an individual basis. If your child is unhappy during this time please don?t worry as it may take a while for your child to settle especially if they are not accustomed to spending time apart from you; don?t panic this is completely natural and you will soon find they settle well.

We have a small booklet for parents/carers to fill in with their child/ren that helps us get to know your child?s likes and dislikes, special words etc and we find this helps with the settling in process.

Each child settles differently and from experience we find that making a swift departure often works best. However we appreciate that this approach may not be suitable for all children and we are happy to work with parents to ensure the settling in approach adopted is best for their child/ren. If a child does become upset during drop off time, please feel free to give us a call and check that they have settled.

We basically have the parent come with the child for a first visit, then depending on how the child reacts during this we draw up a plan. We tell the parents specific times to come as you obviously need to have enough time to do a handover without it interfering with your other mindees. You wouldn't want the mum rocking up in the middle of lunch wanting to know how the first settling in session went would you?

Sorry about the leak. Hope it's fixable.

She probably doesn't get the concept of a settling in session, since different places/people seem to do it differently. Some people would expect the parent to stay for the 1st few sessions and then gradually withdraw whereas others have a far more cold turkey approach. You really will need to tell her how you do things and why.

Have you got an "All about me" form ? That way the mum can tell you all about the baby in writting or you can fill it in whilst she talks to you.
Then you can keep refering back to it.

Well ask her what time suits her or tell her when you want him! You may well have been unlucky with parents but, to be blunt, your communication skills sound like they could use some work. You really need to be able to talk to parents as well as children to be a good child minder. Difficult issues will come up from time to time and you can't shy away from discussing them because you feel scared or don't like parents "chatting". Lots of parents do like talking about their children and will want to offload their fears about leaving them onto you. You need to be reassuring and interested but find ways to kindly and firmly end the conversation when necessary. Equally you need to be quite clear about what you can and can't do, what is flexible and up for negotiation and what is not.

In this situation the mum will probably be very nervous- she is almost certainly leaving her baby with a stranger for the first time, is probably sad to do so and on top of that is being forced (through bad luck) to do it in a less than ideal way, without being there for the settling in period. She will probably want to impart quite a lot of information to you about her baby's routine and likes and dislikes. Some of that will be totally appropriate and essential information. If you rush her or seem uninterested, her fears will intensify and you won't have enough information to look after the baby to the best of your ability.

Hi

Even though you may not be minding, you have to think about yourself. What if you get the virus then you will not be able to work.

Can't the 7yr old stay in the car when she drops the baby off? As long as he doesn't come in the house.
Could be that the mum is stressed to the max at the moment.

I think you need to be firmer and more specific re timings generally. Wasn't the lunchtime arrangement the other day quite vague?

Organised, reasonable parents will appreciate you being specific and clear - everyone will know where they stand.

People who have a tendency to take others for granted (perhaps like this woman) will use your good naturedness to be disrespectful. Your time is important. It is unreasonable of her to expect to come at any time for an hour.

If she is dropping the baby off make sure it is crystal clear that she can't be chatting for ages esp if her older (ill) dc is with her. A problem could occur if the baby is unsettled and she is (understandably) reluctant to leave him if crying, then you have the tricky situation of her, baby and her ds in the house, which is what you were trying to avoid?

I am a parent btw, not a cm. My youngest dd goes to a fantastic cm. I would never dream of treating her as this lady is treating you. I am often by the way some parents seem to have no respect for cms.

Imo you do a fantastic job, while dd is with the cm it is (for her) like being with a lovely auntie. I would also echo what others have said about the Warning Bells already going off.

It sounds to me you don't like her very much.

Sorry- I think it's a BIG mistake and quite unprofessional to communicate solely by text in this situation. Very easy for either side to take unintended umbrage- bit like mumsnet! Talk to her- things will be a lot clearer either way. If you tell her ear to ear that you're very sympathetic and want to help sort the situation out but can't have an ill child in the house, you may well be able to move forward.

Tough one. She is right to be worried about throwing her baby in at the deep end without settling in days and probably has little choice in when she starts back at work. Returning to work is a really anxious time anyway and if the baby has recently been ill enough to be hospitalised and her other child is now ill she is probably feeling added general stress. Sounds like a pretty nightmarish situation and, though she certainly shouldn't be taking it out on you, I'm not sure that many people would be at their best. On the other hand, if your child is at home I can see why you don't want a virusy 7 year old about, esp if it is the very same virus that led to the baby's hospital admission.

Have you spoken to her properly on the phone, rather than by text? It's the sort of situation that might just need a bit of empathy and sympathy on both sides to move forward maybe.

You can terminate at any time, just give her 4 weeks notice so that it's in line with your contract. Personally I would also offer her the option to not use the 4 weeks and not pay in the hope that she would just go without starting.