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32 replies

pineapple79 · 12/03/2010 21:08

I am having some problems at my work and have been there 7 months the child does not like me at all and does not want to do anything with me. I have tried my hardest and not sure what to do and i have also heard a conversation about me which i was not meant to hear by the parents and the child, They thought i had already left for the evening so i dont feel very happy there.What would you do and how would you approach this situation?

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smupcakes · 13/03/2010 09:55

I don't mean to sound horrible because I know the situation must be stressful, but IMO the child is only 9 - you can change what you're doing and he WILL get to like you.

I don't really believe that a child of that age could just decide to hate someone who identified their interests, allowed them their friends to played and genuinely liked them.

It must be difficult but by no means is it a lost cause IMO.

Original poster
pineapple79 · 12/03/2010 23:45

He does have friends but only sees them certain times .. usually when i am not there and there are other children he knows but does not really play with them,i did not actually know all this untill a few months after the job started.Hes very good at his school work especially maths Italian and Art

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Treeesa · 12/03/2010 23:35

Does he have many friends or is he a fairly solitary child? Do you know what he's good at school-wise?

Original poster
pineapple79 · 12/03/2010 23:07

Thanks so much for your replies. Well he doesnt like talking to me doesnt like listening to me and never wants to play any games with me.and in holidays i am there full time.
I have been a Nanny for 18 years and worked with 5 different families, I have never had a problem before.The child is 9 years old.
I have asked the parents what sort of things he likes to do or what i can do with him but they said that this is the way he is and theres nothing i can do.I have heard the conversation aswell and it seems like they are also just putting up with me and dont really like me.

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drinkyourmilk · 12/03/2010 21:28

I stayed in a position that clearly didn't work for either myself or my charges for 18 months - and it was quite frankly 18 months of hell. So my advice? Leave.

I would look for another position, and once secured, then give notice. Just be sure that you continue working your hardest, and meeting all the childs needs so you leave with a clear conscience and a good reference. If the parents are discussing it with your charge then they are aware it isn't a good fit. Sometimes that's just the way it goes, it's not necessarily a reflection on you as a person or nanny.

Summersoon · 12/03/2010 21:22

Hi there.

I would do two things:

  1. Explore why the child apparently does not like you and whether there is anything you can do to make the child like you more - if you are even right in your assumption? How old is the child? Why do you think that he or she does not want anything to do with you? Once you have formed some ideas in your head about that, talk to the parents - without the child present. Say that you would like to improve the situation and how do they see it?
  1. Look around for another job, in case this situation is beyond saving.

Good luck - but do try and improve your current job situation first. Seven months is not very long and if you do move, the next job is going to have to last 2 years+ for it not to become a question mark on your CV>

nannynick · 12/03/2010 21:22

Could you expand a bit on: the child won't do anything with me. Such as what sort of things? What are you meant to be doing?
You have been there for 7 months, so quite a long time. If you leave, do you have anything to go to?
Leaving itself is easy, you give notice as per the requirements in your contract. The hard part tends to be the attachment to the child, though in your case there is a lack of attachment.

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