Nanny and her mobile phone... wwyd?

This sounds far too much like an old job of mine.

No playdates there either (other kids not good enough .

Boss complained to me in not a very nice tone that people (her parents/sis) had told her I was always on the phone either sending or receiving texts. She shut up PDQ when I pointed out to her that they were always from her or her husband and I too was getting pretty fed up having to answer them. I brought in an itemised phone bill for her to prove my point, even she was horrified to see that one day in particular I had sent her 40 yes thats right 40 in one day . She was a control freak, I pointed out I was unable to give her child undivided attention while on the phone to the mother.

That conversation turned out to be a blessing as she then went down to an average of 10 a day.

As everyone else said above, phones need to be on in case of emergencies. Texts take seconds (i'm an expert after the job above ). I would rather a quick text than an hour long conversation.

We have a clause in our nanny's contract about the use of her mobile phone (including texts and internet use) during working hours being reasonable and limited to essential contact. I would fully expect her to use it to communicate with other nannies, to fix up appointments and do other things that need to be done during 'office hours' and to feel free to check text messages but to limit having a social chat to the times the babies are sleeping.

As teachers my DH and I don't get to check our text messages etc. in lessons and have to wait until our lunch break or after school so I don't think it's unreasonable for others to be restrained about it. Obviously most nannies don't have the luxury of a lunch break like we do at school (once we've finished dealing with everything!) so employers need to be sensitive to their need to have something akin to down/non-contact time during the day.

Although the clause is in our nanny's contract it isn't something we've made a song and dance over because we see her as a professional childcarer and trust she will do her job, not spend the day sending text messages to her boyfriend! However, should that situation arise and the care of our children appear to be suffering then we have back-up in the contract (in the same way that there are about fifty trillion things in a teacher's terms and conditions that we can be pulled up on).

I think you need to stop worrying about the small stuff OP. I have a nanny, she's great 99.9% of the time, but she can't cook and when DS falls asleep and DD is at preschool she does her language courses rather than housework.

And you know what, I don't care! The kids love her. It's pretty much irrelevant in the great scheme of things. The relationship my children has with the nanny is ultimately much more important than my relationship with her IYSWIM, so I just have to put up with my petty niggles (and really they are).

In my day job, every single member of my staff irritates me slightly at some point, I don't pull them up on it either, because a lot of the time, it's just that they do things in a different way to the way I'd do it.

I'm a nanny and pretty much always have my phone on me. I think, in addition to being available for calls from bosses and school/nursery, this is partly because it's the norm now for a lot of my generation and partly because I like having it close by as I use my camera on it loads to get pics of the kids. I would also worry about losing/forgetting it if I left it somewhere other than near me, especially if its on silent!

I have a close circle of nanny friends and send calls/texts arranging plans for the day and I do reply to personal texts/calls sometimes too. I will read texts when I get a chance and may reply if not much else going on/it's important to reply immediately. And will take a phonecall too, if appropriate but keep it short.

I think it's like so many other things when it comes to the nanny/employer relationship, you need to trust that he/she will use common sense and put the needs of your child first. It is different to so many working relationships though at it is so personal for all involved.

I see a lot of nannies locally sitting at the sides of the park or play groups texting/ on i-phones/ talking in a foreign language over their kids for hours on end. Sometimes they barely interact with the kids at all in a full hour. One was sketching on a notebook once, another seemed to be typing a novel. It is not hard to tell the paid help from the mums, although there are some excellent nannies out there.

There are occasions on which I have ended up playing with other people's kids as the nanny/ au pair is too busy on her phone, eg. pushing them on the swings by my DD. I would love to be able to tell the parents what they are paying for.

I think that it is a matter of degree. If you are otherwise happy with your nanny, DS is happy and you think she is only sending and receiving a few texts a day (like most mums, let's face it!), then fair enough. What does DS report, or is he too small to say?

I think you can do a good job and still send and receive a few texts each day.

If your ds is adversely affected then there is an issue, if not then I think this is overly controlling - if I were your nanny and felt I was doing a good job and that texts didn't get in the way of this then I would probably look for another job if my you raised this with me.

I think this seems a bit harsh. Like others, unless the OP's nanny is on her phone all the time, I'm not sure there's an issue.

i always have my phone on in case school need to get a hold of me. If I'm working and my phone goes, I decline anything that isn't from school.

I do read that texts quickly if I can though and respond when I can.

I haven't read all the posts but just wanted to add a comparison - my dd is at nursery and the carers there all surrender their phones at the start of the day so they are not even in their possession. This has been their practice since well before that awful case where the nursery worker was photographing abuse on her mobile phone whilst nappy changing etc.

I totally get the comments on loneliness, need to be in contact, reasonable usage etc that may mean things are different for nannies, but I thinkif you are the employer you get to set the rules you are comfortable with....

I have it on me all the time - actually the one time I left it in my bag dc2 split her head open at school and mb was trying to call me and I never heard it. I will use common sence if text replies immediate reply they will do so if its just a chatty one and can wait then I do it once dc3 is asleep and I am having a cuppa for 5 mins before tackling the chores. You dont get a lunch break or anything and it can be lonely. Would never neglect the child to text but would also never think to not look at phone while childs awake. After all many of us are rather good at multi tasking!! I have a baby on my knee right now falling asleep - shes my wee neice though so not at work!

before mobiles I am pretty sure receiving a phone call on your boss's phone whilst at work would have been a real no no. However mobiles have blurred what's acceptable. Unless you see a reason to stop her I would let her carry on having her phone.

I do have a nanny and tbh I would expect her to have her phone on when she is at work - if only so I can get hold of her if need to. She uses it to arrange play dates (which is fine) and she may well get other texts from friends (as someone said, you can't control when someone texts you) but I have never heard her use it inappropriately.
Whilst I agree there is a time and place for personal phone calls - and work is not it - a text is not really the same. Nanny's don't have the same breaks that others might get at work (possibly more so if you are at home too); I would happily send a personal/domestic text whilst having lunch at work for example.

What is surprising is that you seem to have little idea what they do all day. How old is DS? Even a basic nanny diary (or 'handover' at the end of each day) seems a good idea to me- just to know what they have been doing/likes/eats/who played etc. rather than to check up on her. Plus (as I am out all day) I just like to know so we can 'chat' at tea time etc and feel a bit more involved! I think you need to work on that and not worry about the phone issue unless you really feel she is using it inappropriately - but it doesn't really sound like it.

I wouldn't have a problem with the nanny having her phone on and receiving/sending texts providing she wasn't constantly doing so throughout the day to the extent that it was affecting her ability to carry out her job and supervise the children effectively.

must be the sun starberries

agree weird about the playdates - or lack of them

I think personal calls / texts are really inappropriate at work, unless emergencies obviously.

true to a certain extent, but many nannies work 11/12hrs days, so from 7am-7pm they cant contact people/shops/banks/doctors etc?

rem nannies dont have a lunch hour or finish at convienaint time to make appointments, so HAVE to use their phone during working hours

but with everything it is give+take - if always on phone and child/ren suffereing then say something, if child happy then leave alone

As a sometime employers of a nanny, I really think you're making a big deal out of something that's not important.

And when I'm at work (in an office) I have my phone on all the time, send and answer texts and take personal calls. So does everyone else - it's just life nowadays.

Wow, don't know why I had so many s, am in a good mood today though.

Another nanny here with Monday as her day off .

I think it's a very, very petty issue and mobile phones are like third hands to most of us in this society, especially nannies who have to keep track of all the adults they might meet/speak to in a day otherwise surrounded by children (without phones ).

Really don't understand how your nanny doesn't have playdates , that would worry me much more than the phone issue. As you've said you don't hover over her/see if she texts back, you can't possibly know who the texts are from or what they contain, so they could reasonably ALL be job-related, or could be from her partner, mother, doctor, mobile phone provider, even my bank sends me texts .

How long has she been with you and how old is DS? Does he have a nap or two in the day? If so, would it be acceptable for her to speak/text on her phone then? Maybe you should just say something along the lines of that. Nannying isn't very similar to other professions where having your mobile and sending texts are unprofessional (like in an office, nursery, school, well...anywhere really), you're in a home environment.

Let us know if you have the guts decide to speak to her about it.

well im at work, on internet, but babs is asleep

but it has been done many time before as nick said

If you do not want to upset the relationship I would suggest that this is not a battle worth fighting.

Rather, I would get a nanny diary and chat about what they did in the day. If the day was full of suitable activities then I wouldn't care if she was on the phone. If you worry about her being preoccupied than I would chat to some friends who see her out and about (i.e. school gate) and ask them if they think she has a handle on road safety.

So, basically, I would be concerned if her duties weren't being satisfactorily executed. If they are, I wouldn't really care about her text / phone bill.

Also, if you did not provide this phone for her use, then I wouldn't think you really have a right to say how she does or doesn't use it. But, of course, you have every right to comment on her job performance.

Text's I wouldn't mind at all, compared to leaving my kids in the car whilst she popped to the bank, taking them off to Wales without my knowledge and various other issues we had. If yours is just texting or even chatting breath a sigh of relief.

Its lonely looking after little kids - having a phone for texts with friends is fine, as long as its not excessive and she's not ignoring the kids to exclusivly chat on the phone or text. My nanny's phone goes off loads - but she ignores it if she's with the kids and generally only uses it when she's on her lunch break which is fine by me. The being late continuously would be more of an issue for me.

Well I will admit to using it on a working day but when you are stuck in the house all day having done everything you need to do it is my link with the outside world

I wouldn't have a problem with it as long as she wasn't ignoring the children to be on her phone

It's made it onto The Discussions Of The Day list

Amazed we haven't got onto using Mumsnet on a working day... we've been there before folks. Have to say, Monday is my day off.

I don't answer my bosses house phone so if they want to contact me they need to ring my mobile so yes I keep it on and we occasionally text each other throughout the day.