How much do your parents help?

My mum offered to be my child carer on a Thursday and Friday to cut down on my childminding fees as she worked part time then and those were her free days. She actually took early retirement recently but I have not asked her to do more than that and she has not offered which is understandable as she isn't in great health. In return (as i don't pay her) I do her cleaning once a week as she can't really manage it at the moment.
Dh parents are fantastic too. they pick dd up from Childminders on Mon & Tues so that I can reduce the bill a bit and the also babysit every so often if dh and I need to go out.

Yes she says she enjoys it Girafski.
I just worry that she wont say no when she isnt feeling to good (she has health problems)

My mum comes to stay around 3/4 times a year, usually for a week. By day 3 she is often to be found sitting at the dinner table with her fingers in her ears. Last time DS2 (4) said, 'Mum, does Granny not like us?'.

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Just thinking about that last secret wish comment, i now take it back as i think that i am bieng unfair saying that.
I do not like to part with ds at all. I have to because i have to work, but that is a trauma to me.
MIL knows that this is how i feel and so she probably doesnt like to ask as she knows that i would be very reluctant.
I cant bear to be without him.

MIL has ds for 3 hours on a friday afternoon at our house while i go to work until dh gets home.
I make her a nice lunch and dh cooks her an evening meal before she goes home at 8ish.
About once a month she baby sits for us in the evening, we put ds to bed (ALWAYS, im a bit anal when it comes to that, only either me or dh do it)And i make sure that we are always always home before 10.30.
we pay her for this.
I am very very grateful for this and sometimes feel as though we are putting on her.
She says not and adores having ds.
I do sometimes (secretly) wish that the inlaws would offer to take him occasionally for a couple of hours without us asking/booking them.
My parents...zilch, never. Ds wouldnt stay with them as he hardly knows them.

My mother lives nearby but we get no help at all - even during hospital emergencies. I'm pretty much used to it now and would probably be more shocked if we had a babysitting offer tbh.

Dad lives 25 miles away, but will come over every couple of weeks on a saturday to see us all. Will play with and ammuse jess no end - even watch her while i go for a nap! My dad loves her to bits, and is taking her to Scotland in August for 10 days to give me and DH some space. If i ever need him to watch ehr for an evening, he has no hesitations unless he has plans which is fair enough, but it has only happened once!

The evil MIL has only babysat once..... we have moved away from her now, but we were there for the first 7 months of jessicas life and she came over at 8pm and TOLD us to be home by 11pm!

My parents don't live nearby and only occasionally have the children to stay with them (but then, there are 4 of them). They have dropped everything to cover for me in a real emergency though. Basically, any help they give is very much on their terms and strictly limited. My in-laws are Australian but MIL comes over every summer. She is usually more helpful but hasn't been this year (but only due to circumstances beyond our control).

I do feel quite hard done by in terms of the amount of help I get. I think grandparents should help out more, especially if they are retired as ours are. I don't mean they should have the children all the time, but I do think they should be involved and that, if extended families pulled together more, as they did in the old days, then the family unit would be stronger.

When I was a single parent, my dad and his wife would look after the kids during the day if I had to attend meetings or other important events. Also he would have my kids for the weekend twice a year when I went away with the girls.

Now I am married again, I get no help except if there is a hospital crisis or some other emergency, but if i were to ask him to sit so i could go out the answer would be no.

I have asked if he could have my youngest 2 in November for 2 nights to go away with dh and the older 3. He said he wouldn't babysit for me just so i can swan off to have a nice weekend away. Er, why not I wonder as he did it when I was single?

My parents help me loads - almost whenever I ask - and looked after dd 3 days a week from age 6 months to 5 years while I worked. They are very supportive of me and very doting re dd.

Dp's parents live 3 miles away and are fit and healthy but offer no help at all. Different people, diferent attitudes! Needless to say I will feel no compunction to offer dp's parents any help when they are old and frail!

My Mum used to do childcare til I moved (paid!), now she does my sisters childcare instead (again, paid). She is also great if I need a babysitter (Dad works nights so she doesnt go out) although she has mobility problems now which restricts her.

I DO take good care not to ask too much though. I will often pay a babysitter rather than ask her again.

MIL? Nothing. Doesnt want to know. Was alright until DS1 diagnosed with aspergers, then she stopped. He didnt have a personality transplant with the dx!! FIL (who lives with mistress) offers a lot, but actually hasnt bothered to make contact with them since January

Yes it is (speaking as someone who does 90% of the childcare alone) but I tink that is the nature of raising children. Any help I've had has either been paid or unexpected. I never expect it as a matter of course.

And for nothing...

My mother's cousin looks after her daughter's two year old and seven year old from 6:30 (they turn up unfed in their pyjamas) until 6:30 five days a week.

The woman complains constantly to which we all say 'Well don't bloody do it then!'

I think she secretly enjoys felling put upon.
More fool her.

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I think you're lucky, too. My dd is 4, my MIL has baby sat three times (and then only once dd is in bed and only until 9pm) and my parents have sat for us maybe half a dozen times. Neither of them have had my dd for even an hour on her own, let alone an afternoon.

To be honest, why should grandparents feel they have to take on childcare? My dd is my responsibility, not theirs.

Gosh Lizita!
Don't know what you're so disgruntled about. Sounds like they do more than enough. She is your child,not theirs you know!