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Original poster

am I being unreasonable?

31 replies

helenlucyp · 08/02/2010 12:02

OK, long post I'm afraid....
DH (?!) moved out in early Nov (looks permanent, won't bore you with the detail), knock on effect was needed to get a fulltime live-out nanny to start in early Jan, replacing 2 days of DH childcare and 3 days of lovely childminder for 2xDDs. Through fog of misery due to domestic earthquake, got my act together and went through rigorous recruitment process to get fab, well qualified and referenced nanny. 1st 2 weeks of Jan virtual write-off due to snow and her taking a day off sick, then 1 blissful week where she came every day, DDs loved her, I loved her, all great....... then she texts me to say she is ill. Cut a long story short, she has been off the last 2 weeks, in contact mostly through text and email, 1 phone conversation but other attempts I have made to speak with her put off by her. Doctor visits, bloodtests, pain relief meds etc etc. But emails back end of last week saying she was feeling much better and what hours did I need her this week, how much she was looking forward to coming back.
I have been paying her in full, paying my old childminder to cover some of the days, had my folks helping out etc. All with the commitment from nanny that she would be back today. Imagine my concern to get a text at 6.30 this morning saying she had had a bad night, in pain, no way she could work.
I feel so torn, I need a reliable lovely person to leave my gorgeous girls with, so I can earn the money to pay the mortgage etc and keep it all together at this horrible time...... but I don't want to treat nanny badly..........

any thoughts? Just makes me feel better having got that lot out of my system

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millarkie · 08/02/2010 13:21

What have you put in her contract regarding sick pay? I put SSP only but that gives me the choice of paying full pay if it's a minor illness. My employer would ask for a doctors note after the first 5 working days so I think it would be acceptable to ask for one.
None of that helps with the imediate situation of no nanny and work to be done though... Could you start looking for a replacement ( people gave very little employment rights in the first year, let alone in the first few weeks)?

Original poster
helenlucyp · 08/02/2010 13:21

previous employer was an NHS trust as she was doing a non-nanny job, nope, didn't occur to me to do as you suggest, kicking myself now. Did take up the nannying (excellent) refs and no hint of a prob. But she has told me she had a problem some years ago which was cleared up with antibiotics - stomach thing, same symptoms now but bloodtests her doc sent her for week before last didn't show any bugs that would be addressed by ABs.

OP posts:
frakkinaround · 08/02/2010 13:16

Nope, you're cutting her lots of slack. E-mailing and texting is not professional IMO.

Straight onto SSP and sick note to be sent to you straight away along with doctor's assessment of when she will be fit to work. I also work through most illnesses and the only time I can recall having off was last August when I had swine flu and in France you weren't legally allowed to work if you were signed off by a doctor. In fact you weren't supposed to leave the house. Otherwise I've always gone into work and struggled through - thankfully as a nanny one can take things a little easy. I'm not accusing her of shirking but clearly you need to know so you can make some provisions.

Did you ask her previous employers about her health record?

Original poster
helenlucyp · 08/02/2010 13:04

Hi

she said last week she had a sick note from her doc that she would bring today. It may well be that she is genuinely really ill, it is more the way she is handling the comms - not calling but texting, it is not a great way to communicate. I am aware that I am under stress in other areas (XH, fulltime job etc) and I may not be cutting her the slack she needs

OP posts:
nannynick · 08/02/2010 12:16

Most nannies in my view work whilst ill, it's bad really but we tend to work through minor illness, only have days off for major things, at deaths door kinda thing.
Other nannies may or maynot agree with me. Maybe I'm just a work-a-holic.

nannynick · 08/02/2010 12:14

Have you asked for a sick note from her doctor? Do you know what the illness is? Have you considered not paying her, going onto SSP instead. Its been a while now, so your nanny is probably expecting you to stop full pay, in my view. Full pay is nice but not practical for long term sickness.