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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Gah - two good candidates, but each with glaring faults! WWYD?

39 replies

Pennies · 06/02/2010 14:12

OK candidate no. 1 - heaps of experience with children of all ages, but mainly babies (although has done older children of similar age to mine). She has to date preferred to temp, with only two long term jobs. She is older and has life experience - which we need, but never done nanny / housekeeping, but I think will rise to the challenge well. She's CRB checked and got her NNEB and first aid qualifications. Very strong character that I will have to make sure doesn't dominate over me, even though i also have a strong character. She is more expensive AND wants more money than we're offering (she's used to temp rates) and has agreed a compromise rate, which I think doesn't bode well for her longer term loyalty - loyalty is key here (need her to stay with us through my chemo treatment and beyond, so at least a year).

Candidate no. 2 - first foray into formal childcare. Looks after a mum at school's DD (babysitting, playing with her to give mum a break occasionally) and looks after her nephews. She also used to work for the same mum in an office job. The Mum says she's hardworking and very loyal and highly recommended her. Her CV shows she's stayed in jobs for good periods of time. She seems kind and got on well with the children. However she's younger, and a bit green to it all. We weren't 100% convinced that she wanted to get into childcare, but we didn't feel she'd not get on well once in it IYSWIM. She's a whopping £8k cheaper than no.1.

DD1 liked candidate nno. 2, DD2 liked no. 1. Typical.

There's the option of choosing neither of course, but we've been looking for 6 weeks now and need someone ASAP.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
AxisofEvil · 06/02/2010 15:33

Posted too early there. Only you will know the full circumstances but based off what you'd say I would worry that you could end up with you really ill, no 1 running the show doing things you don't like but you don't have the strength required to argue about it with her (due to her strength of personality) and end up feeling resentful. Whereas if no 2 is able to step up to the plate (and you'll have a better feel than us) she is going to be far more receptive to doing things your way without an argument. And that's before risk risk of no 1 leaving you in the lurch for better money elsewhere.

AxisofEvil · 06/02/2010 15:30

Personally I'd go with no 2

Pennies · 06/02/2010 15:23

Best mate thinks no.1 on the basis that she's obviously done it before and will be able to take over 100% when I'm really ill.

Keeping on looking... oh do I have to????

OP posts:
foxinsocks · 06/02/2010 15:08

I would carry on interviewing tbh

I know you've needed someone for a while but give it another week or so if you can

LesbianMummy1 · 06/02/2010 15:06

no 2

i used to help with local mums children etc when i was at school have worked in childcare ever since i learnt from people i worked with before going onto do formal qualifications in childcare

You will be on hand as well if anything is not done as you would be happy with and you can guide her someone who has been working for years may not be open to this and some people do not like to be criticised on what they see as their expertism

frakkinaround · 06/02/2010 14:59

That's a good point actually. I think with no 1 you risk the transition from nanny to nanny/housekeeper not working and there being things she won't do whereas no 2 won't know any better.

nbee84 · 06/02/2010 14:54

I'd go for candidate 2.

For the next year you will be up and down - some days you'll feel well enough to get on with everyday things, some days none at all. If you already feel that no. 1 has a strong character that may need reigning in then it will be hard for you to deal with this on the days that you are not well and also hard to get along side by side on the days that you are well. Presumably on the days that you feel good then you'll not want to shut yourself away when nanny is working and you will need to be able to work together.

No. 2's reference has stated that she is hardworking and loyal - just what you will need over the next year. As others have said, she may need a bit of direction but by making sure all her duties are laid out to her and with the help of a comprehensive handbook she will probably be fine. Also your own nanny experience gives you a great grounding for training her up.

I also feel that no. 2 is more likely to stay with you for the whole year - loyalty already mentioned plus the fact that it will be very good experience for her cv. No. 1 I feel, is more likely to leave you in the lurch when she realises that a nanny/housekeeper job is actually harder than pure nannying and she is doing it for less money than she is used to getting for the purely nannying jobs. The last thing you'll be wanting to do mid treatment is to be recruiting again.

Blondeshavemorefun · 06/02/2010 14:53

no 2 - being young isnt a fault,she seems to want to get into childcare and least has stayed in jobs

no 1 sounds like she likes temping and not sure she would stay for a year, and you NEED to know you have childcare/help about the house

£8k is a HUGE amount - how young is young?

doozle · 06/02/2010 14:37

I'd say No.2 as well. In your OP, I just get the feeling from the way you wrote about her that you'd feel more comfortable with her.

Pennies · 06/02/2010 14:31

Intergalactic - strong ideas but I'd be happy with how she does things.

FWIW, no. 1 is our main contender ATM, but the benefits of having someone new to it are as stated here and it makes her very malleable mwhahahahha.

I became a live in nanny to a 2 year old without ever having changed a nappy ir spent much time with children. That was 20 years ago and I still work in childcare, so I do believe we all need a break. But I feel I taking something of a leap of faith and I'm worried the leap is too big.

OP posts:
weegiemum · 06/02/2010 14:24

No2!

Our only nanny we had was a first-timer with stints in the navy (!) and office work beforehand. She was amazing. Young and keen and we were able to sort out how we wanted things done with her no bother.

I think the reliability thing sounds the most important for you and the money you would save is also significant! ANd you don't want to be employing someone you are always going to be worrying about leaving you in the lurch!

Intergalactic · 06/02/2010 14:24

£8k is a lot of money . Or at least it seems like that to me. I'd be thinking, if she is a bit of a worse nanny, at least you can have two amazing holidays to get over it! .

With number 1, when you say very strong character, do you think she had ideas that you'd disagree with, or just strong ideas but you'd be happy with how she does things? If the former, then I think you should definitely go with number 2 - you don't know how you'll be feeling over the coming months, and you don't need confrontations with the nanny, especially with the fear that if she doesn't like it, she could happily go back to temping.

frakkinaround · 06/02/2010 14:19

No 2. You will be well enough to direct a bit, even if from the sofa, and your children are old enough for experience not to matter. MM will help you writing handbooks and stuff but it sounds like no 1 is just too much and not what you need. Plus the 8k is a big saving.

Lifeinagoldfishbowl · 06/02/2010 14:16

Number 2 - if she's fres and new you can mould her into a good nanny as opposed to the other nanny who you think may dominate you - do you want that when you're feeling ill plus resenting the fact your paying 8k more for her to do this