Gah - two good candidates, but each with glaring faults! WWYD?

No 2!

No 1 sounds like she has the potential to be a real pain in the rear. If you are worried that you won't be able to stand up to her now, what will it be like when you are going through treatment? Not to mention that you will be in the home, and lots of experienced nannies find it hard to have a parent at home while they are working.

We have a 'new' nanny, but she used to work in a nursery. She is fabulous with the kids, energetic and willing to pitch in. A bit of direction needed occasionally but otherwise worth her weight in gold.

Hi Pennies

How are you getting on? I am local to you and able to work 2 days a week for the next few weeks if you are stuck?

x

hope trial goes well

Good call Pennies and your other local nanny sounds lovely to help.

I think that the last thing you want, when feeling unwell, is someone in your house doing things in a way that you wouldn't choose. I hope it works out with #2!

I still think one of my biggest concerns with nanny 1 is that she may not stick around for the year. She is going to be earning less than she usually gets and doing a job that is also harder work than her usual nanny jobs given the housekeeper aspect of the job. The op really does not want to be into a course of chemo and looking for a new nanny.

I take Chippin's comment about nanny being able to take over completely if you are very rough, but as frakkin pointed out unless you are singing off exactly the same hymn sheet it has the potential to be a very stressful time for you if things are not being done how you would like.

I would choose 2 because you have the potential to mould her into the nanny you want. No 1 will do that to you - mould you to the family she wants. Might be fine but may be an almighty clash.

no 2 definitely

I also think with number 2 you will have money to give her extra as a bonus if and when she deserves it and that goes a long way to make you do that extra mile. Nanny 1 would probably think quite right too when you gave it to her.

No 2 definitely

IME strong willed mothers andcstrong willed nannies clash unless singing from exactly the same hymn sheet. When it works it works brilliantly but when it hoes tits up it's horrendous.

However as you are going to be at home it's whoever you get on best with and won't mind having around the house.

On the basis of what you've put in your post, I'd go for No2, and, if necessary, help her out with getting a cleaner for a couple of hours twice a week.

I would also have a BIG list of things to do that you would like her to do with your dd - cooking, painting, puzzles, reading etc etc etc, and a list of things for her to do outside the house - ideally sort out a number of activities for the younger one - music groups, gym, etc etc - there are likely to be times when you will find it a relief just to know you have the house to yourself for a few hours and can just snooze on the sofa.

However, you might not have been selling No.1 very well! And she might be the ideal person to just sort things out when you're not feeling good.

Pennies - there has been an overwhelming 'vote' for #2, however, as someone else mentioned, it could be just the way you worded your OP, regardless of what you were talking about (nanny, house, car) you were 'selling' #2 better.

I think more along the lines of what your best friend said. Having someone who can just get on with it and do everything as you would on the days you are feeling rough, beats having someone 'mouldable'.

Also, there can be on MN (hmm, not sure how to put this without offending the masses...), but there can be a strong tendancy to want a nanny you can 'control/mould/micro manage' when sometimes people would do well t remember being a nanny is a job/career and (some/most) nannies are good at what they do.

My suggestion would be to invite them both back for a second interview with your best friend there and the girls for part of it and then make a decision. When making your decision listen to what your bf & girls say (take into consideration which of your girls will 'need' the nanny most (or which girl is least adaptable) and listen to your gut.

Who do you LIKE?

No 2

No 1 I think would resent the job and feel she was above it. Would most likely not like having you around and would be looking to move on.

No 2 cheaper, younger, malleable and appreciative of the job.

#2

A activities handbook of favoured things and also a few activity ideas books from Amazon or the activity flash card packs are a fab way for both nanny and your DD to try new things easily.

I suspect #1 would like things her way and that may well not be 100% to your liking and when your ill that is the last thing you need to be fretting about.

As #2 is new to this employment a 'How the House Runs' file would be helpful to her and friends wanting to help, simple A4 notes on laundry, breakfast, lunch, snacks, alarm, car, directions to activities etc will be a godsend and something i have done many times in the past for temp nannies and more baby based for nannies following on after my Maternity Nurse job has ended.

A large diary will help keep the house & children running smoothly.

Having a weekly activities routine can soon solve the suggesting things to do issue. School holiday periods are more tricky as she would have both children to keep happy all day. If she knows the area and can transport your children around, then there are many places they could go on outings. If you want creative stuff done, then there are books at the library or info online for art projects they could try.

You haven't given us that much information to go on, thus why I suspect many of us are saying No2 is better. It's from how you have described them so far.

What did your gut instinct tell you when you met them? Did they both fairly quickly start interacting with your girls? Do they have similar educational backgrounds? Do they both live locally (is this a live-out or a live-in position)?

If you went for No2, would that mean you could keep your cleaner?

No 2 does seem to be better for you from what you have put so far. No 1 wants more money than you are offering (why did they apply!), so they really are not viable.

Candidate no. 2 has some childcare experience, though not a lot. She has some other job experience so should know about management structure - you being the boss, not her! She has stayed in jobs for a reasonable time period - thus if accepting the job should offer some commitment.

She seems kind and got on well with the children.
That's a good start... your children need to like her but not to the extent where they see her as being a substitute mum.
However she's younger
Is that a bad thing? She isn't a mum replacement if she's young. She is likely to do as she is told, not constantly challenge decisions you make. She may not respond to situations in the way you would but would she respond in an acceptable way in an emergency situation?
She's a whopping £8k cheaper than no.1.
Which can be a big help if there are area's of work which need some assistance. For example, if you are keen on having things ironed then you could have ironing contacted out. If the oven gets in a state, you get an oven cleaning company to come in and get it like new.

Look at the key things you need... For example, do you need someone who drives?
Does she drive? Does she have a car? Has she been driving for a few years? Is she used to the local area? Does she know the places where you children often need transportation to/from?

Can she cook? Would she get your children involved in cooking - helping them bake cakes.

Does she seem quite well organised? I expect you may need someone who is quite well organised, someone who can manage your children's diaries - not forget about meetings at school, school outings, playdate arrangements, able to keep a shopping list going and actually do the shopping if required.

Can you remind us how old your children are. I can't remember

No 2, as some one else said, shes young enough to shape the way you want, rather than having someone 'older' who might be set in her ways.

Here is another vote for No.2 - or keep looking. I think that, in your particular situation, it is even more important that you feel really comfortable with the nanny on a personal basis than is the case normally - if she looks after your children well and is generally a pleasure to have around, you will recover that much more quickly. This is primarily about your children - but it is not just about your children but also very much about who will make you feel better on not-so-good days. Did you get any feeling from either nanny about who would be more relaxed about having you around?

Good point millarkie makes about resenting paying them so much. You could have the situation where you are resenting no 1 for being forceful whilst you're paying them so much whilst they resent you because they're paid so little (if you see what I mean, less than she wants) and yet is being told what to do in a way she's not used to

We were in a very similar situation recently - looking for help for when DS2 had his surgery - had 2 candidates almost identical to yours.

Went with No 2 and she is our lifesaver

The older, more experienced, more expensive one said she didn't 'do housework' and i think she would have been bored by the job tbh.

The younger, no nanny-specific experience, cheaper, no set ideas about what she would/wouldn't do has been fab.

I'm not sure of your circumstances but i'm a SAHM so didn't need someone to throw in the deep end with 2 young children as i'm around a lot of the time, or just leave her with one while i go out with the other.

No 2 is chilled out, flexible, relaxed, better company for me, helps with any houseworky stuff and we keep extending her contract

No 2. I would not be wanting to deal with someone who has strong opinions if I were ill and tired, and would resent paying them so much if they weren't perfect. I have school age kids and have had some great help from young inexperienced nanny or au pairs..and my worst nanny was a 30yr old with 10 years experience.

lol pennies, I know how awful it is (interviewing). I've wanted to give up so many times and despaired when no-one I've liked has turned up. But I would keep going for another week at least just in case you get some more applicants. Tbh, neither seem right in your eyes and it sounds like you're going to have enough worry on your plate over the coming year.

Do you have a dp/dh? Are they helping with the interviews?