who should toilet train: parent or nanny?

Sorry, couldn't be bothered to read whole thread so I'm sorry if this has already been said.... If I were you, I'd get the processed started and then ask the new nanny to continue with your efforts. Only you will kno when your child is ready to be potty trained so if you think s/he is showing signs of being ready then go for it!!!

have just read the other threads and see I'm in the minority - I did say if she's ready. It possibly also depends on what kind of visitor your mum is - if it's going to be trips out every day then maybe not, but if she's a roll your sleeves up type it could be easier

uwila - if she's ready then do it while you're still at home. GF's advice on potty training is well ott - all that hole yourself up and don't answer the phone rubbish. The presence of your mum is likely to be a help if anything - two hands are better than one.

Just adds to the funfunfun

Not just toddlers but "toddler and a newborn" together. Puts a whole new twist on things.

Is she experianced with toddlers?

If this is an experienced nanny then knowing that she will be caring for a child that had not long turned two she would expect to be involved in the toilet training. It comes with the age.

Uwila, i realise this is absolutely none of my business, so ignore me if you want.I was just thinking, your kids will be just over 2 years and 3 months old when the new nanny starts? Is that right? Only I was thinking she's got a lot to take on having that age group for 12 hours a day 5 days a week. Does your toddler go to playgroup for a few hours a day so your nanny can have a bit of a breather? I can just remember when my two were that age, I found it very isolating and completely exhausting. Does she have lots of experience with toddlers and new borns? Sorry to ask a million questions, TBH I was just a bit concerned your nanny has got a lot to take on, obviously I don't know her qualifications or experience or her!! just thinking of her.

If in doubt leave it! Unless you are in a particular hurry because of a nursery place or similar. Ask nanny what she thinks once she is installed (not on the first day obviously!) and presumably she will have done it before and be more than happy to share her tips. Unless you told her otherwise, I think a nanny starting a new job with a 28/9 month year old might well expect to be involved in training. Nannies on here might have a view?

Excellent advice here - would also say, be prepared to stop trying, maybe after a week if things aren't working, and try again in a month or so - much less stressful for all concerned. And would definitely leave it until the nanny is settled with you - there's too many other things going on for your little girl before then.

In terms of when they're ready, I think

• they have to be able to pull their pants down(although you do a lot of it at first, they have to be physically advanced enough to do this if it's going to be a success)
• they have to want to do it (want to be a 'big girl' in 'big girl's pants')

I think other than that and a general interest in the toilet you should be fine. Dd didn't tell us about wees or poos before she started but was keen and so trained in around a week.

If I was in your position, I would wait till after your mum's visit and a few weeks into the new nanny. There's no way I would potty train whilst granny was visiting from abroad (too exciting and lots of trips etc. - complete nightmare). 27 months is quite young anyway.

Uwila, I can see you've got a lot of replies here mostly saying go by your instincts, but you're saying I'm not sure what to be looking for! TBH I've been a nanny and a childminder and I'd be wary of giving you a list to look for as every child is so different, my two boys were different and I trained them both!!

I'd not be too concerned with the baby books, I'd wait until everything at home has calmed down and between you and your new nanny maybe discuss how it should be appraoched and decide to do them same things. Chances are your nanny will have done it before and may be a good help in this. If she's not, maybe ask your HV for advice??Or other nannies you know? A lot of toilet training is just watching your dd and seeing when she's showing interest in potties and wearing big girl pants, not when Gina Ford says we should all be doing something!! The most important thing I'd say to you is to be sensitive to your daughter and don't rush her, sometimes coping with a new baby in the house makes toddlers "regress" slightly and she might decide she likes her nappies as baby has nappies or she may go the other way and want pants. She is still very young, if she wants to be babied a bit longer I'd let her, the toilet training will be done eventually!!

Good luck!!

mishmash that is what I was trying to say

Children don't work according to books or lists

Just experience and instinct

Hi Uwila
Probably no help at all but do go with your instinct - all kids are different - mine were never "trained" as such I just knew they were ready and from the time "I knew" - don't ask how I knew, I just did - they were nappiless day and night.

I did leave them till a bit older - they were all around 3.

Those were just off top of head

It isnt something that follows`a list really

It is just intuition really

That is why you know her best and so it will be obvious

Does she tell you about dirty nappies --- sometimes you say

Does she show any interest what you arew doing on the toilet?

has she seen others on the potty or toilet?

get her some potties and put them around the house for her to play with and sit on and put dolly on

read her I WANT MY POTTY deffo brill book

if she goes with out nappy what happens when she wees does she notice or carry on playing

either before bathtime or even when she is in the bath does she notice

If she shows o sign of being interested then leave it

If you had read my original post you will see:

"One child I was a nanny to in canada

Her mum wanted to wait til the summer cos very hot weather can run round in knickers very easy

Anyway the little girl wanted to do it in January {thick snow and so thick coats, sallepets or all in ones boots etc.}

Anyway we went with what the DD wanted to do and wasn'treally a problem apart from length of time it took to get undressed etc"

Uwilla YES I WAS A NANNY FOR 6 YEARS only stopping to come home from Canada to get married

That is why I felt qualified to answer your question

I have now been a childminder for about 7 years

so in total that is 13 years as a childcare professional

so is that not long enough

How many years has your nanny been working as a childcare proffessional??????

Uwila: I think RTKM was a nanny and is a CM?

surely toilet training is a normal part of a nanny's job? If you hadn't had your DS, you'd have had a continuing nanny and she'd have been involved. Nannies don't just stop working for you whilst toilet training is going on!

BUT, if you asked the nanny to start toilet training on her first week, I think that would be a little off (as if you'd 'kept' that job for her cos you didn't fancy it yourself). And you'd want to give it a little time for your daughter to settle down with nanny.

long week for her