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Paid childcare

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Original poster

The curse of Boff. Again.

281 replies

BoffinMum · 13/01/2010 17:23

You are not going to believe this, guys. The lovely temp (and she really is lovely) who came today has had to leave because her mum was rushed into hospital. We don't know if/when she'll be coming back. So we are without childcare again! I am currently in Paris and DH was supposed to be going into work tomorrow because he hasn't been able to get in all week. He has no leave left either. Crikey! Anybody want three lovely children, two with diarrhoea?

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Tavvy · 22/01/2010 07:31

I think you'll find the same nannies register with lots of agencies so going posh doesn't help (in more ways than your bank balance)
The poshest agencies I'm with are the ones who tell me to lie on my CV, fabricate references and tell outright lies about me to prospective families like I have a degree and am a qualified teacher!!!
Would be nice certainly and maybe one day but not true now. I'm a qualified TEFL teacher, I'm working towards my degree and whilst I have worked in primary schools I do not have QTS. I've always found also the posh agencies I've interviewed with do not always interview in the way you might expect. I've had some more interested in my family background and didn't ask me a single child care related question.
(Sighs cynically and goes to retrieve singing baby from cot as the working hour has indeed dawned again)

WingedVictory · 21/01/2010 22:15

"If their nannies are so ace, then surely they should be prepared to guarantee them for a really decent amount of time ... "

Now, that's proper arsey behaviour! Well done!

Summersoon · 21/01/2010 21:24
Original poster
BoffinMum · 21/01/2010 21:17

Thanks, MummyPoppins, I am indeed registered with Eden.

BTW I just deregistered with A Posh Agency upon realising that the placement fee would be £3650 (presumably plus VAT knowing them) and they would only give an eight week guarantee.

I got six months' warranty on my car when I bought it for £2500. I reckon they can do better than eight weeks for £3650 so in my new outraged Daily Mail mode, I am not going along with it. If their nannies are so ace, then surely they should be prepared to guarantee them for a really decent amount of time ...

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theoriginalmummypoppins · 21/01/2010 14:40

BM. Have you tried Melanie at Eden nannies in Bath.

She is just absolutely brilliant. If you can provide live in she will probably be able to help.

passes virtual g and t...........

Original poster
BoffinMum · 21/01/2010 13:11

Peter thought to himself "Maybe I should try childcare as a profession so I don't have to spend my life in airports being looked at naked whilst wrecking university provision in England" ... he rang a leading agency on the diamond encrusted iPhone that a leading Russian had given him during a visit to his yacht ...

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Blondeshavemorefun · 21/01/2010 11:20

boffy tried diy and got crap results

i really cant believe what rubbish nannys (if i can call them that) have appplied

really dont know what to suggest tbh

frakkinaround · 21/01/2010 09:15

splutters mint tea at Boffin's 'drama'

Register with a new agency. Tell them you are an extremely high-profile academic who wants a qualified and experienced nanny wishing to expand her mind whilst looking after your 3 wonderful children. You area of expertise happens to be education so you know what you're talking about and won't hesitate to name and shame any agencies who give you crap. Live in or live out negotiable

I want to know what they say to that.

Summersoon · 20/01/2010 22:48

BoffinMum, I know you probably don't think that any of this is funny at all - I certainly wouldn't in your shoes - and we shouldn't laugh but I do find your posts very entertaining!

WingedVictory · 20/01/2010 22:37

Oh, no, not DIY.

Laquitar · 20/01/2010 22:02
Grin
Original poster
BoffinMum · 20/01/2010 21:50

... the tablets had indeed worked their magic as promised, but he had not bargained on this priapic state of affairs, oh no.

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Original poster
BoffinMum · 20/01/2010 21:49

Peter shuddered as he imagined what might be going on in the viewing room ....

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Original poster
BoffinMum · 20/01/2010 21:49

God if I had the energy I would have to write it up as a drama right now!

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Laquitar · 20/01/2010 21:38

Would the title be 'the Faboulous 7?'

Original poster
BoffinMum · 20/01/2010 21:25

Laquitar, the DIY route has been an absolute disaster. A litany of people who can't read ads, no-shows and total timewaters.

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Original poster
BoffinMum · 20/01/2010 21:24

Can you imagine a TV drama with all of my top 7 in? Now that would make riveting viewing, would it not??

Tavvy, you can have a lollipop as well LOL

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Laquitar · 20/01/2010 21:22

But if you don't mind me asking why try to impress the agency and not go DIY? And use the money you will save from agency fees to top up the nanny's pay and/or good bonuses?

I understand some families prefer the agency route for the whole package but in your case with your experience i'm sure you don't need that.

Original poster
BoffinMum · 20/01/2010 21:21

I am actually so fucking ANGRY about various things half the time, I even have to laugh at myself while I am doing it.

Here is my current top ten:

  1. Agencies
  2. Flaky nannies
  3. Thin lipped, wide hipped, miserable university administrators and all their nonsense
  4. Students who can't spell or do Harvard referencing
  5. Peter Mandelson
  6. Naked scanners
  7. The disabled parking 'system' at Addenbrookes.

...er...

actually I think that's all at the moment, as I feel better now.

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WingedVictory · 20/01/2010 21:17

Oh! Things have moved on a bit.

Well, BoffinMum, what you have been saying on this thread might help. Being arsey can't hurt, anyway. I presume you've already tried nice.

Would mentioning your work sound threatening enough? Or would you need to lie in order to get the thickoes to understand the danger for their reputation? If so, do respect your own scruples, a pity though that might be.

WingedVictory · 20/01/2010 21:11

Sorry, Laquitar! I am considering the possibility that I am trying to impress BoffinMum.

It must be the hard-arsed:
"I have now been looking after 3 kids (and their big sister who also requires adult type mothering) for a goddamm month pretty much on my own, and between wipings and feedings I have been running a flipping university course, writing half an academic paper and also presenting at an overseas conference."

and

"I do not want 'lovely'. I want experienced and qualified".

I do love a bit of fight-adrenaline.... although not the Daily Mail levels you seem to be suffering at the moment, BoffinMum!

Original poster
BoffinMum · 20/01/2010 21:10

Blondes, unless I marry Peter Andre I fear this is my lot.

Right ladies, we have to think how I can leap up the agencies' apparent status ranking as a client, because it is clear there is an absolute cartload of crap being sent to me.

How can I look like the hottest client on the planet without actually lying about who I am??

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Blondeshavemorefun · 20/01/2010 21:01

so in other words the agencys are giving boffy the old crappy nannies

Laquitar · 20/01/2010 20:51

WingedVictory,
your last paragraph is exactly what i meant

WingedVictory · 20/01/2010 20:08

Laquitar, quite! We keep getting estate agent "letters" (or should it be "litters"? We recycle them) through our door, begging us to consider selling or renting out, just because one person expressed vague interest in our street. Now, our street is 5 mins from the station, and that station is 11-15 mins from London, so it is a good place to be. However, this is just one enquiry, so could that possibly "mop up" all the houses on a whole street, or is the agency being disingenuous?! Hmmm. We get what seems like the same letter from the same agents frequently. If they use pseudonyms anyway, what's to stop them from multiplying the pseudonyms to set up an "echo chamber" effect? Nothing but a sense of honour, no doubt!

But if an agency manages to have a good enough choice to offer a buyer, something might stick.... of course they will want to do it!

We had the opposite experience last winter, looking for somewhere to rent when there was a glut of rental property from both the existing landlords and the "accidental landlords" (those who couldn't sell). One agency which had too much property on its books took us to some real dumps before we saw anything nice. And when we saw the nicer things, it was so clear that they had been hoping to shift the old crap, that we were Really Quite Annoyed.