Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

The curse of Boff. Again.

281 replies

BoffinMum · 13/01/2010 17:23

You are not going to believe this, guys. The lovely temp (and she really is lovely) who came today has had to leave because her mum was rushed into hospital. We don't know if/when she'll be coming back. So we are without childcare again! I am currently in Paris and DH was supposed to be going into work tomorrow because he hasn't been able to get in all week. He has no leave left either. Crikey! Anybody want three lovely children, two with diarrhoea?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Laquitar · 20/01/2010 19:10

Most agencies work with 'targets'. The staff have to do a certain amount of matching in order to keep the job or to be paid. So basically they are like estate agents or salesmen.

Tavvy · 20/01/2010 18:55

If I am can I have an A* please

Original poster
BoffinMum · 20/01/2010 17:42

WingedVictory, I think you are probably spot on. I reckon a lot of the time agencies hardly have anyone on their books, and they just send random CVs out more or less indiscriminately to try to get a fee. That would explain why I am always required to fill in a long list of apparent requirements, and then when candidates' CVs appear they don't have any of them, and the agency tries to persuade me to take them on by telling me how 'lovely' the candidates are, (to which I invariably respond "I do not want 'lovely'. I want experienced and qualified"). I am not saying all agencies do this, but I reckon it must happen pretty frequently in the smaller ones.

I wonder if The Place We Do Not Name does this a lot, actually. I imagine this may be a Truth That Dares Not Speak Its Name.

One of the girls I was at school with, who did not have much going for her at all IMO, trained at Princess Christian (a private Nursery Nurse Training College in Manchester that has since closed, same type as Norland and Chiltern) in the 1980s, and the next time I bumped into her, she was working for some 'sleb friends of ours. She wasn't great at the old nannying, tbh, and it was all a bit embarrassing.

Tavvy, I am now worried you are one of my students ...

OP posts:
WingedVictory · 20/01/2010 14:03

Perhaps it's the agency set-up. I was once going for journalism jobs with one agency, and was appalled at some of the jobs they wanted to put me up for. I put my foot down when they suggested "Aquaria and Pond Keeping" (and I'm not even certain they got the title right!), pointing out that, not only would my cv look a bit off-target, I didn't even have a driver's license (I was pretty sure I'd have to travel to see some of these ponds), so they would think it was taking the piss to put me forward. Luckily, the agent had some shame and backed down, and probably had to find someone else with a bit-less-inappropriate cv to put forward to make up the numbers and not lose face.

Some of the same dynamics must be at work in nanny agencies, surely?

Tavvy · 19/01/2010 23:45

I'd be thrilled to work for somebody in your job. I'm completing my degree in education and english.
With regards the the 'auctioning' concept that's exactly what happened. I was auctioned off to the highest bigger; bullied into accepting the job by the agent who think the family can do no wrong because they are 'high profile' The snob and bullying factor was tremendous and I am consequently trapped.
Okay so I hate the job but I can do it and I do it well because I was hired to do it; paid a wage and I take pride in my work. My personal feelings about the position are not the childrens fault and they deserve the best I can give them. If nannies want to be respected as professionals then they need to behave like professionals. Boff's experiences just bring shame to the whole industry.
Mind you if you actually read the Mary Poppins books she never stayed very long either. I think in one she just announces she is going and leaves there and then.

Laquitar · 19/01/2010 22:50

I know Boffin...

Mind you when i was young and a nanny i would die to work with someone like you and i would bombard (sp?) you with questions about research, methods etc.

But others might see it a bit like ...going to cook in a chef's house.

I 'm sure you will find a good nanny soon, the time of the year is good i think, just hold on there

Original poster
BoffinMum · 19/01/2010 22:20

Laquitar, you are probably right but I can't help my job ... it pays their wages, anyway!

OP posts:
Original poster
BoffinMum · 19/01/2010 15:43

Tavvy, we are on the same wavelength - the agencies are very cynical about parents and their needs, IMO. It seems sometimes as though agencies and nannies stitch quite a lot up between themselves and parents are expected to bankroll both, and made to feel cheap, mean or unreasonable a lot of the time. Yet the agency is supposed to be representing the parents as clients, NOT the nanny, as the nanny is not paying the agency a fee.

FWIW I think many nurseries forget the parents are clients, as well, and set up systems to suit themselves without any reference at all to the stress this might bring families (eg 5.30pm rigid pick up times in urban areas).

I found the 'auction' concept so nauseating that I have a major moment of desparation just there.

OP posts:
Tavvy · 18/01/2010 23:59

That wasn't meant to sound so utterly arsey.
I just think the nannies you've had are really taking the but then you hardly need me to point that out. I registered with an agency once who took me on when I was starting out because I spoke the Queen's English, came from a so called posh background though not by way on the Place That Shall Not Be Named and was academic therefore she could, 'auction me for more than a common run of the mill nanny' (her words not mine)Given at the time I was not overly experienced she made me ask for a ridiculous weekly sum. The whole thing was a sad, snobbish joke.

Tavvy · 18/01/2010 23:38

Obviously am totally wrong. I stand corrected
I shall take my totally out of date work ethic that seems to be totally redundant now and go and finish making one of my charges fancy dress costume for a party they are going to.

Laquitar · 18/01/2010 23:15

BofinMum,
i think you have said in a previous thread that you have a long career in child related field?
If so, do you think that nannies might feel nervous and- perhaps unconsiousely- intimidated by you, especially young new ones?
I am not saying that YOU do that, but perhaps your job title and cv makes them nervous.

Apologies if i am wrong and mixed you up with another poster.

MollieO · 18/01/2010 22:20

You can get childcare vouchers refunded via your company's payroll.

Blondeshavemorefun · 18/01/2010 17:31

ever thought of moving boff to somewhere with good caliber nannies?

frakkinaround · 18/01/2010 16:33

Have mailed you back. Apologies for extremely boring e-mail title as it didn't want to send until I titled it 'work'.

Original poster
BoffinMum · 18/01/2010 16:21

I told the Place We Do Not Name that they were not teaching their girls right, as well. I said things appeared to have gone downhill in recent years. They denied it, but then in the words of Mandy Rice Davies, they would say that, wouldn't they?

OP posts:
Original poster
BoffinMum · 18/01/2010 16:18

Tavvy, you have got it all wrong.

Around here, on Planet Boff, despite what their stated purpose might be, agencies appear to represent the nannies rather than the employers, and seem to spend all their time telling us to spend more, more, more, because then, only then will be achieve the holy grail that is a proper nanny. We are always running behind financially, as agencies see it. They reluctantly promise to 'do what they can' but it is always 'a difficult time' and 'there are not a lot of girls around' and they are 'really sorry' but if we could offer 'just a bit more' then 'it might improve our chances'. Mysteriously, when they winkle your bottom line out of you 'this might be enough' but only for four days a week or whatever. When it all goes wrong, then they are also 'really sorry' and this is 'so unusual' and we have 'been really unlucky' and 'next time it will be alright'. But funnily enough it goes wrong over and over and over again. In the meantime the agencies keep collecting fees.

Blondes, she ain't on their books any more ...

OP posts:
Tavvy · 18/01/2010 14:05

Oh Boffinmum you poor thing!
Reading that list made me wince.
Didn't realise it was only three hours. WTF. I regularly work five days a week, weekends and can keep this up for weeks on end. I was under the impression we nannies were hired to help make mums life easier (in theory anyway) not make every possible effort to send them over the edge. I hate my job but I would never behave like that. Really hope you find somebody. Fingers crossed for you

Blondeshavemorefun · 18/01/2010 13:57

fuck a duck boffy at the amount you have spent

the place which we do not name is obv not teaching their girls right - you go there to learn how to become a professional nanny

if the agency knew about the lovely nanny, and that she want really a lovely nanny, and that she does this a lot, then why the hell have they got her on their books?

hope the one from here is who i said

my rates will be less than you stated earlier lol xxx

thenewbornnanny · 18/01/2010 13:55

And have you joined Eden? They have been wonderful from my pov, and I have heard nowt but good things about them from parents pov too.

thenewbornnanny · 18/01/2010 13:54

Good luck Boff, I really hope your next nanny is both fabulous and a keeper/stayer!!!! You're definitely owed a hige chunk of karmic nanny goodness based on your last few months of nanny hell.

Original poster
BoffinMum · 18/01/2010 11:35

Even better, I will streak down Downing Street dressed as Madame Liberte with Felix clamped to my bosom in an extended bf mode of demonstration!

OP posts:
Original poster
BoffinMum · 18/01/2010 11:34

WingedVictory, shall we get some t-shirts done??

OP posts:
WingedVictory · 18/01/2010 11:12

"It is a conspiracy to stop women having a say and influencing the public arena, childcare hassle is. It wears us out and grinds us down so we don't cause trouble or ask difficult questions of our leaders."

Well said, BoffinMum.

Original poster
BoffinMum · 18/01/2010 10:54

K75, I am really worried we won't be able to find someone and get them registered before the year is up, tbh. Hence my concern. It takes 4+ months at the moment apparently and we are 4-5 months in with our vouchers.

iluvkids, please send CV to boffinmum at hotmail dot co dot uk.

OP posts:
Original poster
BoffinMum · 18/01/2010 10:52

Thanks for all offers and support, lovely lovely people. [kiss emoticon] [hug emoticon]

Update: One of you is coming for an interview for a bit of temping later, plus I registered with a couple of other reputable nanny agencies over the weekend online, and one (which Frakkin often uses) gave me the low down on LovelyNanny.

LovelyNanny is in fact not LovelyNanny at all.

LovelyNanny often leaves people in the lurch on a whim with silly excuses, when she gets what she thinks is a better offer.

It seems the Maison de Boffin has fallen victim to her unscrupulous ways.

ReputableAgency said that The Place We Do Not Name appears to have two kinds of nannies - silver spoon (i.e. too rich to work very hard) and OK. LovelyNanny is apparently the former kind.

Make of that comment what you will.

Now re: agency fees. This was the figure AFTER all the refunds and so on. It's like divorce lawyers - at the end of the day, agencies are in the business of sorting out misery, and this doesn't come cheap. I only resent the money we paid to the Place We Do Not Name, actually, as they ended up refunding the difference between the placement fee and what we would have paid in temp agency fees over the same period, which works out incredibly high. But I am not going to have a fight with them because to be fair it wasn't entirely their fault SillyNanny decided to start being crap, and they did do a lot to try to reform her, including visiting her on site.

Frakkin, I will email ...

OP posts: