My nanny is a domestic disaster....

I think you should menu plan for your child and give the plan to your nanny each week. That way you will have all the right ingredients for what needs to be cooked.

If you ask her to cook double and freeze the other half then either there will be meals prepared for the days when the nanny is not working - less work for you - or the nanny will not have to cook from scratch every day - less work for her and more time for other tasks.

Re the laundry, I agree with previous poster - Day 1 wash sheets, Day 2 wash clothes, Day 3 iron it all and put it away.

Dress it up if you like as "my new plan to get everything organised for 2010".

Remember to give her lots of positive f/bk about the things you appreciate ie being great with your child.

i think it is reasonable to allow your nanny to take a 20 minute break during the day to recharge a bit though.

Talk to her. Tell her what you want/expect. Listen to any thoughts she has on what is reasonable and agree on a tasklist. She obviously hasn't understood what you're after and maybe that's because she's lazy/has low standards or maybe it's because you haven't communicated your needs very well. Either way you need to carry on communicating. It's unfair to expect her to miraculously know what's expected in your home. You need to spell it out and give her feedback, even if it feels uncomfortable.

i agree k75,as i said , washwithcare hasnt said to nanny dont feed/buy pizza etc so maybe she thinks you dont mind

us nannys are fab, but we cant mind read

a few simple notes like use mince to make shep pie/lasagne etc might help

how long has your nanny been with you?

ps. She may not also be clear what you really want; there are folk (amazes me but there you go) that want their children fed from jars, packets etc.

WWC - a little perspective. She doesn't sound great but took me a while with mine to realise that what is obvious to others is not obvious to all and not all of us like big chats.

So as per suggestions above I leave notes e.g. can you change sheets today (and all fridays), ingredients in fridge to make fish fingers, shepards pie etc. please freeze rest. - I try not to give out more than 2 or 3 things at once; most stick, the odd one gets forgotten and remind again. Generally works well.

You wouldn't be too happy at work if folk were looking to replace you and you hadn't had the feedback. You will also feel so much better when things pick up.

Mummy dragon -
would it feel easier having a diary and writing it down?
It works for me as the nanny - I just do it when i can(or by a deadline ob), and it works for my boss - no need to remember lots to tell me, and no awkwardness ( cause as you said, sometimes you feel you are asking too much - when in fact it's fine!).
If I can't do something i either reply in the diary or text and explain.

I think you need to chat with her.
She should do the bed sheets etc as a wkly duty that is part of her job.I have always done kids bed sheets and in my job I always have at least one child with me fulltime so dont have the 2.5hrs free time to do it like your nanny
I would write up a list of what needs doing each wk and tell her thats what you need doing.Its up to her how she organises it and what days she does everything but you expect it done by fridays(unless child is sick or something comes up)
As for the milk-I quite often find cups and things lying around and I clean them up.If I am walking passed the cup to go down to kitchen anyway what extra work is it to take the cup regardless of who was on duty when the cup was left.

Why do you leave milk in the bedroom with your 3-year-old all night? Take it downstairs with you after you've tucked her up in bed. She shouldn't be drinking milk in the night after she's brushed her teeth - it will rot her teet. Leave a cup of water by her bed.
But re. all the other stuff YANBU (except for the leaving the bike out in the garden - that's your fault!).
You do need to make a list, or have a chat with her on a daily/weekly basis about what needs doing. I do this with my nanny and she's always open to suggestions about what to do with the kids.
I understand where you're coming from though - I find it quite awkward to ask my nanny to do things as I always feel like a bit of an upstart for asking, even though I'm paying her ...! It is quite a difficult relationship to get "right," I think. Hope you get this all worked out.

Just write down a list of things you want her to do this weekend and talk to her about it then give it to her. Much better than having to ask her every day/week and then seething when it isn't done. A nanny with 20 years experience can quite easily mean someone who is tired of it all.

Your nanny is being lazy/thoughtless IMO

In a job recently i tightened the loft spiral staircase as M&D aren't diy minded (freely said so) and local handyman busy.

in another i made up the new bed and organised the drawers.

Nursery Duties : laundry, cooking, child tidying, odd bits of general house chores (full bin, dishwasher etc).

Your nanny needs to be told to get with it.

When I was a nanny, nanny duties meant anything that needed doing for the children or to do with them and their stuff, was my job.

WWC - she's taking the p*. I totally sympathise - I'm assertive and organised at work and am totally wussy about being directive at home. And in fact am gearing up for a 'start of the year chat' with my own fab nanny because lovely as she is, it drives me crazy that she leaves my kitchen like a bombsite. And I've been putting it off for months....

I think we get so focused on the dc/nanny relationship that we fail to be assertive enough about the fact that the nanny is actually your employee and is there to do some things for you too. Am not talking about general housework at all, but proper nursery duties. You need to reset her expectations. ANYTHING to do with the kids falls under her list of things to do - their clothes, their rooms, their food.

Did you give her a written job description? I think you need to, since your suggestions aren't working. You wouldn't expect someone in the office to know what they are meant to do without one, so she deserves one too.

In addition, you probably need to give her a weekly list as well of specific tasks for the week, but getting her going with a proper standard job desc should reduce your management burden.

you def need a review,if nothing else to tell your nanny to start cooking fresh meals - she has 2.5hrs a day to do it in - so that you dont have to on your day off

i cook every day and often do extra so that mb can have if she wants if db away or freeze for another day

as you havent said anything to the nanny about her lack of cooking/buying frozen pizza etc, she may think it is ok to do it, and thats why she does

Washwithcare -

I honestly think it's time for a review - regardless of how long she has been there.

You can do it under the guise of preparing yourselves for maternity leave and addition of a new charge.
Use the oportunity to introduce a new contract which includes a fairly comprehensive list of the tasks/duties you expect her to achieve (I know it's a pain - but this way it only needs doing once and you will have officially documented everything). If you need help thinking of everything give a shout on here - you've loads of great nannies and experienced nanny employers to give you a hand.
You can also address any other issues you have with her (it sounded as if there may be others)
I would also take the opportunity to tell her how fab you think she is with your daughter - it's always nice to hear!
If you were thinking of giving her a pay rise with the new baby - which is by no means compulsary! It's never happened to me, but has with some friends - this would be a good time to tell her too.

If the worst happens and she doesn't like it then with your maternity leave looming you will be able to spend the time needed finding another nanny.

BTW - Sorry I took what you said about tidying the garden toys the wrong way, it's a pretty common attitude and annoys me intensely!

Best of luck

What you've described is not how it should ( or at least can) be with a nanny. Having done both work + nursery and work + nanny, I can promise that when it works it is much easier. Our nanny changes the children's bedding and towels each week, does all their washing, cooks for them and keeps their rooms neat and tidy. She has a bit of a blind spot where the art stuff is concerned, and isn't really keen on doing big sort outs, but I don't mind that. When I get home the kitchen is spotless and the only mess is whatever is being used at the time. She used to tidy that before I got home until I told her to stop as I'd rather the children were playing with it.

It sound like you don't want to rock the boat, and I understand that - really hard to manage the employee relationship when said employee also cares for your child. But I agree that trying to outwit her would be exhausting. Can you schedule a proper review with her where you go through everything with her, pointing out what she does well, giving her a chance to highlight where she thinks things could work differently? If you're pregnant, things will change when you go on ML and you will want a different kind of support, so I think this would be a good opportunity to start with a clean slate and draw up a list of things that would help you.

Sounds like your nanny is the kind that will only do things when asked/prompted, which is a PITA for you as you hired her to get on with it, not to manage her on top of everything else in your life! Could you have a meeting with her and present her with a weekly checklist? Everything on it should be under the remit of normal nursery duties and could be done in the 2 or so child free hours (or with your DD as activities ie cooking), so if she balks at it she is just lazy! Something along the lines of Day 1: wash sheets and towels and give bedroom/playroom a quick tidy, sort art stuff and toys, prepare dinner (half to use half to freeze) and bake a cake/muffins. Day 2: Do DD laundry, cook a dinner (half for now, half for freezer), give windows/lounge/playroom a quick once over. Day 3: Iron and put away laundry, cook dinner (etc etc) and bake or cook something special with DD.

Then have a list of normal everyday stuff like bringing the milk down, straightening the areas used at the end of the day, ensure no dishes etc are left.

I hate seeing nannies get away with the very bare minimum. Pure laziness. I work 12-16 hours a day, with a fairly demanding 7 month old, I run the household, manage other staff, cook dinners, keep diaries, do a flaming ton of work, and my bosses come home to a clean and happy baby and household. I do it, and do it well, as it's my job. It annoys me no end when other nannies can't even do the most basic and menial tasks required of them.

You need to speak to her. You shouldn't need to repeat same things every day but ive her some idea of what it is you want doing and spell it out clearly.

That should be enough, if not you will have to think about daily lists. Not ideal as more work for you (although maybe writing a list less work than clearing up after her?) And it would be a case of weighing up if her skills with your dd out weigh the inconvenience of having to micromanage her

I'm a nanny and my youngest charge is now at nursery in the mornings. My situation is slightly different because this wasn't the case when I started the job but if you discussed nursery duties at interview and she took job on knowing this then she should be doing jobs around the house.

How long does the nursery run take off the 2 1/2 hrs? I presume your nanny also has a break at some point during this time. At a guess this would leave her, say, about 1hr 40 ish? to do nursery duties, still lots of time. I know lots of nannies and we often have the 'what should I do, don't want to start something' conversation regards certain tasks in our workplace. This is because often when you do things to help out it becomes one of your jobs when you don't feel it is part of the job description. You really have to have a chat with your nanny about this so you both know exactly where you stand and what you expect of each other.

I am not the neatest, tidiest person in the world but I make an effort to leave my employers home tidy, however I expect my workplace to, on the whole, be that way for me. I do not think it is my job to tidy up my employers mess and I don't leave them any mess from me/mess kids have made under my charge.

When it comes to tidy bookshelves/art boxes etc I will tidy these occassionally but I try to teach the children to maintain the tidiness rather than have them make a mess which miracously becomes tidy again and they never learn to clean up after themselves. I have clear outs less frequently as time goes on because I find it so disheartening when it is messed up again in a couple of weeks or even days.

With the milk, is it from evening or morning? Does nanny wake your dd and bring her downstairs? I would view bringing the milk cup downstairs and washing it up as the job of person who comes downstairs with child, as otherwise that person is leaving it for the other iyswim!

With regards food/cooking, if there are lots of cooked meals in fridge does she think they are there to be eaten by your daughter or did she agree to cook and now does not? Perhaps it's a cooking for 1 issue, where she gives food that is there rather than end up cooking more than one 3yr old can eat?

HTH

As a nanny i would tidy up anything that needed to be done to do with the children, cook healthy meals + bake cakes etc, laundry, beds etc as its all part of the job
I probably wouldnt go as far as windows as thats the cleaners job imo
I would certainly tidy art stuff and books, dvds ets when there is free time

nannynick - even for a bloke I bet you are pretty good!