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Original poster

Delicate regarding potential nanny

32 replies

livvy1 · 16/12/2009 20:10

Hello,

I'm new to mumsnet and have found a nanny for next April who seems lovely.

I really like her but have been advised not to employ her as she was abused as a child.

I don't want to go into much detail but am wondering what peoples initial reaction to this would be?

OP posts:
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livvy1 · 16/12/2009 21:04

This reply has been deleted

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Hando · 16/12/2009 20:58

nbee84...

You say

"abused children can go on to being abusers??? This fact is true, but it really must be weighed up with the fact that the majority of abused children go on to become sensible, well balanced adults who would never dream of harming anyone."

That makes no sense at all. Anyone, whether abused or not may go on to be a child abuser, the majority do not. It is not applicable only to people who have been abused.

I've never heard that you are more likely to abuse somebody elses child if you were abused yourself as a child.

LynetteScavo · 16/12/2009 20:46

So who told you? The nanny or someone else?

And what type of abuse? Emotional? Sexual? Physical? Neglect?

nbee84 · 16/12/2009 20:42

We're jumping to the conclusion that someone else has told the op that the candidate was abused. Maybe the candidate disclosed this information herself and the advice giving person has heard that abused children can go on to being abusers??? This fact is true, but it really must be weighed up with the fact that the majority of abused children go on to become sensible, well balanced adults who would never dream of harming anyone.

Hando · 16/12/2009 20:19

My reaction would be to question the person who told me about what the hell gives them the right to dish that sort of info out.

Plus, why is that a problem for you? Perhaps she realises the value of loving and caring for children and that's why she's chosen to become a nanny? I can't think of any reasons why it would have anything but a positive affect on her work with children.

I'd be tempted to tell her that this person is gossiping about her private life so she can confront them about it though.

MrsMattie · 16/12/2009 20:12

'Advised'? What a nasty person that would tell her private history to you - a potential employer and presumably a stranger? - or in fact, to anybody.

FabIsGettingReadyForChristmas · 16/12/2009 20:10

Fucking hell

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