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Original poster

Boff needs chocolate. Nanny has just resigned.

185 replies

SnowyBoff · 03/12/2009 21:38

So folks, there we were being nice, supportive employers to someone who frankly with hindsight has a major attitude problem, and she's just resigned on us and leaves in a fortnight. I am sure Christmas is a brilliant time to look for a new one (not).

This nanny thing is so angst-ridden it's untrue. It also means we may have sacrificed another agency fee for a mere 10 weeks' work as well. And the kids will be really upset and go all funny on us for a bit because they will be so confused about everything.

I am not a happy Boff.

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Original poster
SnowyBoff · 04/12/2009 22:31

I am not that worried about sacking people. I just go through the disciplinary procedures properly. However it has saved me having to write her official letters and so on.

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Original poster
SnowyBoff · 04/12/2009 22:29

They don't give qualifications away at the place we don't mention.

We had a brilliant temp from there, so I have seen how amazing good nannies can be. But it cost more than I earned after tax.

OP posts:
madwomanintheattic · 04/12/2009 22:29

oh dear - sending helpful 'find-a-good-nanny'-vibes. if it helps we've had two brilliant ones, and one was recruited in december for a january start!

at least this way you don't have any angst about sacking her?

Original poster
SnowyBoff · 04/12/2009 22:27

Apparently they plan to carpet her and she won't be getting her final qualification. That's appropriate, I think.

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Original poster
SnowyBoff · 04/12/2009 22:25

NL, sadly our jobs involve a three hour a day commute and a five hour a day commute respectively in opposite directions, and we work in highly competitive creative industries that only have limited employment availability locally, so we have had to travel to find work. We've older kids just settled in good schools, so uprooting would be a bad idea at the moment. I have already changed career once and spent a huge amount of time and money retraining, so yet another shift would be insane. And basically nursery is not an option because there are none around here any more - getting to the nearest one and doing a drop off and driving back would add about 30-45 minutes to my journey at each end of the day, and make me incredibly late for work. Plus I would have to leave work at about 4.15 every day to be sure to be on time for the pick up. Flexible working would be impossible for DH (he runs a department) and career suicide for me. So we're a bit trapped in this model right now.

Fab, thanks for offer.

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Blondeshavemorefun · 04/12/2009 22:18

yes newly qualified from the place we dont mention

i truely cant beleive you have had such bad luck ((HUGS)) as you have had employing nannies nuters!!

as i said in my email (that you finally got+about 10times) if I could clone myself i would

the suggestion to use a nursery+older woman/cm for your older 2 may be easier, but having a nanny does should make your life easier

i really hope the agency/place we dont mention do something about this girl and her lazy attitude and yes i did say get rid of her when you told me about the marks round bubba's neck and feeding him food off the floor 2mths ago i dont like being proved right - well i do,but not in this case iyswim

Northernlurker · 04/12/2009 18:52

Boff - with everything you've been through is a nanny the best way to go? Is there any mileage in nursery plus housekeeper type and adjustment in one or both parent's working patterns? Someone I know went with an arrangement like that in the end - her dh cut down his work by one day to do childcare she does three days so between them they are 1.4 of a full time equivalent and only use one day at nursery because her mum also works part time and does the other day. I know the last bit isn't an option for most of us!

FabIsVeryHappy · 04/12/2009 18:43

I would like to offer any help I can

thenewbornnanny · 04/12/2009 18:40

I think not all people who choose to be a nanny/childminder are cut out to be good, whether they are qualified or not. It's down to the person at the end of the day, it's not the piece of paper that will be taking care of your children.

ssd · 04/12/2009 18:38

I'd say go for lots of experience with as little employers as poss, a nanny who stays with one family for a few years is a safe bet

Original poster
SnowyBoff · 04/12/2009 18:21

One thing I was wondering earlier - with all this push to get nannies qualified and approved, how come it is harder and harder to find a good one? Surely with all this training and so on they should be getting better, not worse??

I agree about the dedicated MN nannies, btw.

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ssd · 04/12/2009 17:54

sorry about your awful experience, hope you and your kids get someone nice next time, you sound like you deserve it!

and BTW I also agree with your statistics, I have nannied and what you think is true for me too

(also I think its true for childminders, the ones on MN sound great but in RL I've never met one so dedicated as they are on here)

frakkinaroundthechristmastree · 04/12/2009 17:21

Third time lucky?

Am guessing the was a recently qual nanny from said Well Known Establishment, possibly a very recently qual? Sadly some nannies are quite crazy and should not be nannying, but unfortunately there's no way of knowing which are which.

You get a better class of nanny on MN

justaboutisfatandtired · 04/12/2009 17:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
SnowyBoff · 04/12/2009 17:08

Beth, email not working but I will be in touch soon.

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MollieO · 04/12/2009 17:07

What a nightmare. I think Athene sums her up perfectly.

AtheneNoctua · 04/12/2009 17:02

She sounds a bit like my 6 year old. Good riddance. And good luck with your next one. Statistically, I think you are due a good un next.

NannyBeth · 04/12/2009 16:35

Where abouts are you and do you need a live in? I am looking for a job to start early Jan! (and i promise to not do any of the things you have mentioned - completely nuts imo!!!!! most au pairs wouldnt do those things!!)

You can email me on [email protected]

Beth

thenewbornnanny · 04/12/2009 15:41

Oh Boff I am sorry this one has turned out to be so incompetent and a but of a nightmare too!

I agree with the stats. I meet a lot of nannies in my travels and most of them should not be in charge of a goldfish let alone a child. So many people I've met (especially in the states) go into nannying for the money and not for the purpose of being an actual positive influence on the lives of the children they look after and the family they work for! But sometimes it's parents who exacerbate this problem too in that they use the cheapest childcare they can find. Pay peanuts, get monkey.

K75 · 04/12/2009 15:34

She sounds nuts. Good riddance! Not sure I agree with the stats; definately better folk in SW London than that but we pay well! Go for someone with more experience and checkable refs (and ask lots of questions to them); better to pay a bit more in the long run and get some real help/less stress imho.

greybird · 04/12/2009 15:09

I'm so sorry about your problems. If it's any consolation, I agree with those statistics.

Original poster
SnowyBoff · 04/12/2009 14:43

She was trained at a Very Well Known Training Establishment. Please do not name it on this thread in case of internet searching, as it is not their fault and I am still working with them to find someone else.

I will say no more.

I have to say apart from MN the nannies I come across are 80% dreadful and only 20% decent. What is happening out there, or was it always thus?

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Tavvy · 04/12/2009 14:13

OMG
She sounds horrendous and quite frankly given what you've written most of that is surely common sense.
She expected you to drive her around! Didn't wrap up the baby properly in this weather!
No wonder nannying has a bad reputation with 'nannies' like this. Mind you one of my friends quit last week because she didn't want to make a costume for a Christmas show and her mb asked her if she would stop using baked beans as a vegetable because she couldn't be bothered to prepare any veg. She thought both these were totally unreasonable demands
I went mad.
Really hope you find somebody better and shame on the agency for taking her on in the first place

LouIsAWeetbixKid · 04/12/2009 13:55

Boff, sorry to hear that you had a bad run. There are some good nannies out there (true we are all on MN ). Hopefully the agnecy will send you someone professional this time.

Lisa2 · 04/12/2009 12:31

Snowyboff, i am so sorry you have had to go through all of this 'nightmare' with your nanny.
I have been a nanny for 13 years and a maternity nurse for 5 and it really makes me wonder if she was ever trained let alone qualified.
It nearly broke my heart when i read about your little one having small welts on the back of his neck from the bib being taken off too fast.

To me, it sounds like in a way you will be much better off without her, i know it cant be ideal having no nanny right before xmas but try to keep your chin up... Mary poppins will come along i am sure.