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Original poster

Nannyshare or nanny with own child?

38 replies

Maria2007loveshersleep · 20/11/2009 20:42

Hello again wise MNetters

As some of you may know (I've already posted about what's been happening here & here) our nanny left unexpectedly so we're now frantically looking for a new part-time nanny (3 days a week).

I've done my calculations & it seems either a nannyshare (hopefully with someone close by) or a nanny with her own child is the way to go. For the part-time position we've advertised we've received many responses for very experienced nannies with their own child (who they want to bring along to work). They've all said they're happy to work for 8£ net per hour, and we're talking about nannies with fantastic CVs.

I wanted your opinions about the pluses & minuses of nannyshare versus nanny with own child.

About nannyshare:
How important do you think is distance between where the 2 families live?

About nanny with her own child:

One question in particular that I have, which is VERY politically incorrect & which I wouldn't even think of asking a potential nanny, is- what if a nanny with her own child (the candidates who've applied mostly have babies) have another baby sometime soon? Would I then have to pay maternity leave? And how much would that be? And what would be the logistics of having a nanny (if she were to come back to work) with 2 young children, along with mine?

About both options:
Do you think these 2 options have the potential to be long-term solutions? Or are they doomed to be temporary arrangements?

Anything that comes to your minds, I'm all ears...

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Original poster
Maria2007loveshersleep · 20/11/2009 22:19

Yes, I think location is important. And also how experienced the nanny is. In London with a very experienced nanny with her own child, I've offered 8£ net per hour & it's been accepted without any issues.

OP posts:
argento · 20/11/2009 22:10

Wages really depend on location and the experience/qualifications of the nanny - you might be better off starting a new thread.

Maria79 · 20/11/2009 22:06

Maria - slightly off topic but my first time on Mumsnet so please help!! Question about cost of nannies with their own babies. I have been chatting to a woman with nanny experience who has her own baby and am thinking about hiring her to look after my own baby when I go back to work. I have to go to her with an offer but have no idea how much cheaper she should be than a nanny without her own child. What is the going rate? You mentioned 8pounds/hour? She would be coming to my home.

Millarkie · 20/11/2009 22:04
  1. Distance is quite important since 1 family or the other will have to drop off/pick up at the other house. If you think the share might last until children are at pre-school/school then being in the same school catchment might also be important - nanny can't drop off at different schools at same time.
  1. Nanny with own child is just as likely to have a baby and need mat leave as any other female nanny who isn't over menopausal age - should not be an issue. Depending on age of child there are also limits once children get to preschool/school age unless nanny's children likely to go to same school.

I have nanny-shared (twice) and had a nanny with own child. Of these the nanny with own child was more hassle on a day to day basis but the nannyshares lasted shorter times (one finished due to one family having issues with the nanny, the other because we moved house but was potentially going to end anyway as both families had second children and 4 young children is a lot for one nanny!)

argento · 20/11/2009 22:02

You might even find a nanny with her own child is more committed, as they'll have fewer alternative options and will value being able to take their child to work with them.

Original poster
Maria2007loveshersleep · 20/11/2009 21:50

Argento, ok, that all puts my mind at ease a bit. I suppose I have to accept that continuity is not a given.

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Original poster
Maria2007loveshersleep · 20/11/2009 21:48

Nbee, yes, you're right that the nanny might think I might have another child soon- and of course that is a possibility (I hadn't thought that this would be a potential problem with a nanny, but yes of course you're right). But in fact I've thought this through & one of the reasons we want a part-time nanny & hopefully paying less through nannyshare / nanny with own child(amongst other reasons) is that we would want to have a nanny if/when we have a second chlid from the start. We have no family in the UK & would love the help particularly to get a bit of sleep each day, as well as the possibility of spending time with each of the children. I would be willing to put that in a contract actually. Its great to hear, in any case, that in your case it worked so well Nbee Can I ask you a question: do you feel it could have worked equally well if you hadn't been with the family beforehand, i.e. before you had your baby?

OP posts:
argento · 20/11/2009 21:42

Exactly as nbee84 says - a nanny may think you're a married woman with a baby and will be getting rid of her when you go off on another maternity leave in a few months too!

Any nanny you employ could leave in six months/a year/two years because they get offered a new job, want to move house, go back to studying. There's no way of guaranteeing continuity.

nbee84 · 20/11/2009 21:25

I was a nanny taking along my own dd to work. I fell pregnant with my ds when I had been there for 2½ years (so was in fact there for just over 3 years before I left) and my mb fell pregnant at the same time too. In fact, we both had boys a day apart So although we didn't have to consider the logistics of nanny + 2 children of her own, my example shows that it is not necessarily a short term solution.

Any potential nanny could also wonder if the job with you is long term as you could be plannning another baby anytime soon.

Original poster
Maria2007loveshersleep · 20/11/2009 21:12

NannyNick, thanks, no I meant how far away the other family in the nannyshare lives (not the nanny).

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Original poster
Maria2007loveshersleep · 20/11/2009 21:11

Argento, you're right, of course any female nanny of childbearing age could get pregnant, and I'm happy to live with that. But (oh god, I can't believe I'm writing this) surely a 30something year old nanny, married, with one 6 month old is more likely to get pregnant again in the next couple of years? AAAARRRRGGGHHH it's a minefield since I never ever would want to discriminate against a wonderful candidate on those grounds. However, after our current nanny leaving us unexpectedly after 1 year, I really would like to have the possibility of some continuity...I would be very disappointed if we lost a very good nanny, with the hope of continuity, because of this. I suppose we could take her back with her second child too...but just seems very complex tbh.

Generally the whole nannyshare / nanny with own child seems complex, but I really prefer one of these solutions not just for reasons of cost (which is a considerable plus) but also because my DS would really enjoy the company, I think.

I guess no solution is perfect, am just trying to think of all this from various different angles.

OP posts:
nannynick · 20/11/2009 21:08

How far away an employee lives is I feel always something that should be considered... as the further away they are, the greater the potential they are to be late for work. However, that does not mean that someone living very close by won't be late for work.
In a nannyshare situation if you were taking your child to a different location... then you would want that location close to you, would't you?

SMP - don't worry about that until it happens. As argento says, you can claim the cost back from HMRC.

You don't need to accept the nanny bringing the new baby along with them... but if you did you would need to look at how that would work... in particular I feel the physical logistics such as in transporting all 3 children. Caring for 3 children isn't that much of a problem... it's the getting them places if they all don't walk. With luck however, at least one child would be of walking age by then.

Could be either temporary or long-term... will come down to the person you recruit. You never know really... as anything could happen down the line.

argento · 20/11/2009 20:59

If you hired a nanny with one child and subsequently has another child, you would only have to accept her back on the basis of the original contract not with both children. If you didn't let her bring the new baby too she'd probably choose not to come back and you'd need to find a new nanny.

Any (female) nanny could get pregnant. You'd have to pay standard maternity pay (about £120 a week I think) but I believe you can claim 105% of this back from the government.