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Original poster

Help! Our nanny has given notice & her last day of work is...today!

35 replies

Maria2007loveshersleep · 17/11/2009 16:16

I have already posted a thread here a few days ago about our situation & some of you have given me great advice.

I'm posting a new thread because our situation has changed & I'm very stressed! Our nanny, as I said in the previous thread, told us yesterday that there was a possibility of another job in her previous field (journalism) which meant she might have to resign. She is only able to legally work 20 hrs per week (which is what her new job would be) but offered to stay with us & get paid cash in hand until we find someone new. I don't really want that because I don't want to do anything illegal, but I'm sure she'll come by & visit our DS since they have an excellent relationship.

The problem is, today she did the interview, was offered the other job & is starting...(get this) tomorrow! This means that, for one thing, all appointments etc I have for tomorrow I've now had to cancel. She has given us no notice & I haven't shown my unhappiness to her at all because I care for her, we have an excellent relationship & she loves our boy (and he her). But I feel very hurt & tbh a bit angry mainly because I'm at the last stages of finishing my PhD- submitting in january- (which she knows) & am under a huge amount of pressure, so will have to lose loads of time now to find new childcare asap.

Anyway, rant over. As I said, the main thing for me is to remain on friendly terms.

In any case, I'm now on a mad hunt for a part-time nanny for 27 hrs a week. After all the info / advice you've all given we've decided to offer 9£ per hour net & then to look for a nannyshare after we find our nanny. I feel that with 9£ per hour is a fair price for this area of London.

Any advice on what's the best way to find someone quickly? Any good agencies in North London that you recommend?

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Original poster
Maria2007loveshersleep · 18/11/2009 20:15

Thanks Nick & Blondes. It is a great relief, yes, if my friend manages to come (we're still talking about it, will be confirmed soon).

Nick, I'm getting some ok responses, but most are really bad. The really bad ones I just delete immediately . I think it's a matter of time, really.

I have kind of decided I would prefer not to go down the agency route. The cost is horrendous!! I hadn't realized immediately just how high the cost is, but now that I've understood this I'm shocked. However, if we were to find a family for a nannyshare (I'm frantically looking!) we'd probably be able to cover the agency costs together (maybe).

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Blondeshavemorefun · 18/11/2009 19:19

great your friend can help out

hers hoping you find a good/right nanny soon

nannynick · 18/11/2009 18:18

Think I've found your advert on Gumtree. Assuming I have right advert (your DS is 15 months, you aren't a native english speaker) it looks reasonable in terms of saying what you are wanting. Is the problem therefore that you are getting people contacting you, who don't meet that specification?
Would tightening the person specification help to get more suitable applicants?
Would including salary level help to avoid people expecting more money than you can afford to pay from applying?

Sounds to me as though you may be getting quite a lot of people enquiring... which is great... but it means you need to weed out those who are unsuitable. Would a pre-interview questionnaire be useful? (AtheneNoctua's Nanny Interview Questionnaire (Adapt it to suit your particular job, then send a selection of the questions to applicants to answer, then select candidates to interview based on their responses.)

Original poster
Maria2007loveshersleep · 18/11/2009 17:46

Thanks Blondes... that's all very thoughtful of you!

Today I'm feeling even worse. Its becoming clear that things are hard, its not going to be easy to find the right nanny. 90% of the responses I'm getting so far are crap, and tbh I'm not even getting any good responses!

Also, the CIH thing with our nanny is not going to work. She came today for 2-3 hrs & it was clear to me (not sure if it was to her) that she's already 'gone' ifkwIm. For example, she was reading through stuff about her new job (instruction manuals etc) plus texting the whole time she was here. PLUS (and this is the worst bit) she told me:

'Well as you know my boyfriend is coming tomorrow, so we've planned to go (somewhere) after work from thursday until sunday. But if you need me for tomorrow or friday or saturday let me know!'

As if I would tell her 'no, don't go on your planned trip with your bf & stay to work with us'.

So no childcare until Monday but even then I don't think I want her back.

There is some good news though. A friend of mine from back home who does nannying at home & is between jobs has offered to come & stay with us for 3 weeks, do some nannying as I interview people & do my PhD work. It's great if it works out, because it means we can then be relaxed about the recruitment process & also I can get to do some work. She even said she can do the same in january if needed. Its all in exchange for the plane ticket & some money which all in all comes much cheaper than what we pay now for our current nanny. Plus she's a friend & its great if she comes anyway.

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Blondeshavemorefun · 18/11/2009 13:05

aww maria - i am SO sorry this has happened to you

what she has done is very unprofessional

you may value her friendship but obviously she doesnt feel the same or she would have given you notice

def dont rush into hiring a nanny - much better to get a temp in and find the right person

have a look on netmums

there is a nanny i know looking for work, but miles away - maybe you could both help each other out and temp for each other for a few weeks?

though she would have to live in for those 3 days - let me know and i can give you her email address

[email protected]

Original poster
Maria2007loveshersleep · 17/11/2009 19:24

Yes she's on a student visa. It's still current (no problems with immigration).

I came down to talk to her in the afternoon & she was kind of blushing & embarrased & told me she really doesn't want to let us down, & that she wouldn't just get up & leave just like that, and that she would really be relieved if I understood her position. I told her that I know her well which is why I understand.

It's all sounding very magnaminous & adult, now that I think of it! Believe me I don't feel that way

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nannynick · 17/11/2009 18:41

Maria, I think you are taking the right attitude towards this... not much you can do to insist that she stays.

Why the 20 hour limit? Student visa? If so, I wouldn't suggest taking them back on a CIH basis... especially as they have already been in the country for 12 months, so their visa may have expired - not your issue any longer if you will no longer employ them. Leave their new employer to sort that one out with immigration.

Good luck with your search for a new nanny. You may find that you like the new nanny even more than than you did like the old one.

ComeONFabStopStressingSOMuch · 17/11/2009 18:13

And there is another nanny out there who is better for you, will love your child and will not treat you like an inconvenience.

ComeONFabStopStressingSOMuch · 17/11/2009 18:13

No, but you can still tell her she has let you down without it ending badly. I wouldn't let her work cash in hand and would ask her to leave asap tbh as why should she carry on earning when she has dropped you in the shit. I was a nanny and just feel annoyed for you.

Original poster
Maria2007loveshersleep · 17/11/2009 18:03

Well even if she 'sees' ComeOn, what's the point really? It's not as if making her 'see' will change anything. I'm already very upset as it is, I don't want to create additional problems. She's looking after my boy for a year now, & has an excellent relationship with him / with us, so if I have an argument with her & end on bad terms I don't see the good for anyone. It's not as if there's anything I can do to change the situation.

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ComeONFabStopStressingSOMuch · 17/11/2009 18:01

....a word with her...

ComeONFabStopStressingSOMuch · 17/11/2009 18:00

You need to have a word with then, sharpish. She must see what she has done is not on.

Earlybird · 17/11/2009 17:57

Don't know if it is a possibility (or how much it will cost), but agencies have in the past sent me nannies who were in between jobs/looking for work on a day-by-day basis.

I paid them a day rate, and got to essentially 'try them out'. i eventually hired a nanny from the agency who provided the temp nannies, and so temp fee was applied toward permanent nanny agency fee.

Maybe an option?

Original poster
Maria2007loveshersleep · 17/11/2009 17:56

I agree ComeOn... However I sincerely believe she's not aware that what she did is so unprofessional. She keeps insisting that she should stay & work with us (when she's not working at the other job, i.e. hours that are not necessarily convenient to us) & get paid cash in hand until we find someone else. I think she feels that because she's offering this, it's somehow ok

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ComeONFabStopStressingSOMuch · 17/11/2009 17:49

Your nanny has behaved appallingly and I would be demanding one months money if I had a nanny who did this to me. What is the point of a contract if she can just walk away and the money will go towards childcare.

Original poster
Maria2007loveshersleep · 17/11/2009 17:47

Yes it seems like a lot ....
But not sure what else I can do on such short notice?!

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nannynick · 17/11/2009 17:29

Just been looking at an agencies rates... they charge 12% of net annual salary plus VAT. So if you were to be paying £243 net per week (£12,636 net per year) then 12% would be £1516.32 plus VAT at 15% gives £1743.77

Thought that may help if you do decide to go down the agency route. Make sure you ask agencies about their fees and if the fee includes or excludes VAT.

Original poster
Maria2007loveshersleep · 17/11/2009 17:23

Well we're based at home so both DP & I will look after DS ourselves for the time being and maybe (although I realize it's not right) do a few hours with our current nanny here & there. We will definitely not rush the decision!! I agree completely with you AtheneNoctua...

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AtheneNoctua · 17/11/2009 17:17

I would find a local childminder as fast as a I could to tie me over whils I look for a nanny. I would not make a rushed rash decision on a longer term nanny. For two or three weeks I could muddle through most any childminder and be okay with it. But, for a long term nanny, I would want to take me time and choose carefully.

Call your local authority about local childminders with vacancies. There used to be a fab website for this but I believe the government saw fit to ruin it.

Original poster
Maria2007loveshersleep · 17/11/2009 17:02

NannyNick, thanks I've put ads wherever I could (although 20$ here, 20£ there, it does add up...) & I've registered with agencies too (thanks Busy Bee Kim!) I'm now looking at the FindABabysitter website. Lets see how that goes.

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Original poster
Maria2007loveshersleep · 17/11/2009 17:01

I would never ask her to enforce the contract. As Orangina said, she obviously doesn't need the nanny reference etc. Plus I really value our relationship, she's become a friend of the family & I hope it remains this way.

I'm just upset because I really don't think she fully comprehends that what she's doing is unprofessional She has said to me that she's able to work for us (paid cash in hand) for a while but as I said I'm reluctant. But I might need to do it for a couple of days, to have uninterrupted interviewing time with the applicant-nannies etc...

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nannynick · 17/11/2009 16:43

You could also try looking on FindABabysitter - 5 days of contacting users access is available for £4, so won't break the bank. You could contact as many as possible tonight and hope that some get back to you tonight or tomorrow. I'd suggest trying all within 5 miles of your postcode, selecting Nanny Live-Out and Nanny Part-Time.

ComeONFabStopStressingSOMuch · 17/11/2009 16:40

In this situation she should pay you one months money.