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Original poster

I am really cross with my childminder, come and help me broach this without losing my temper....

38 replies

itsmeolord · 09/11/2009 12:53

Hi,

have posted before about childminder who whilst lovely and very very good with kids, does lots with them etc is also terribly disorganised and this has caused issues.

Thought it was sorted. She gave me short notice that she wanted to go away for two weeks, the october halfterm week and the following week. She definitely said two weeks, definitely those two weeks...
I have no holiday at all, only recently started shiny new job that I love.
DP took the week after half term off and I took the half term week off unpaid.

New bosses weren't particularly chuffed and I had to do some work at home etc to appease them.

Anyway, she should have been back end of last week, called and texted. No replies.

Still couldn't get hold of her this morning, took dd to school and bumped into a mum of another child that she minds.

The childminder called her last week to say she would not be back until this Thursday!

I have no childcare for this week now and lots and lots of work to do. Obviously I can work the school hours but my job is normally an work till it's done kind of thing out of necessity for the field I am in.
In the current climate I cannot afford to lose this job, I am still in my probation period and this is not going to look good for me.
No family nearby who could help, dp has no holiday left now because of the week he took.

I have been made redundant twice this year, childminder knows all of this.

I am so utterly fucked off that she has called another of the parents but basically either forgotten me or just not bothered to call.
She knows full well I would not be able to cover another nearly full week of no childcare, add to that the fact that I have already paid her for the month so she has had two weeks full whack and two weeks holiday pay, this should have been almost 3 weeks holiday pay of that was her plan.

I know I am ranting but I am so cross, have bee thinking about this all morning and don't really know best course of action.
I don't want to sack her as there really is no spaces in this area at the moment and dd loves it there.
But, this has really really screwed me. Am uset that she thinks it's ok to treat me/us like this as well.
Bfore she left she was hugging me on the doorstep and thanking me for holding back her money so that she wouldn't spend it before the holiday. (she asked me too, she is crap with money)

I appreciate this is a holiday of a lifetime for her and her family, (they are in disney florida) but I cannot believe how she has behaved.

What would you do in my situation? I really need to calm down, am so cross.

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thisisyesterday · 09/11/2009 18:55

that's awful! what area are you in, approximately? there are a fair few mumsnetters who are CM's who might be able to help oit

Danthe4th · 09/11/2009 18:54

I am so shocked that someone could just up and go on holiday with so little thought for anyone but themselves. Please tell us you don't pay for her holiday pay even half pay as I think i'll flip!! She sounds awful and so what if she is wonderful with the children it should be about the whole package. Name and shame when you leave!!

Danthe4th · 09/11/2009 18:47

I would still speak to the childminder development officer for your area, they do the training and will be able to tell you if there is a new one due to be registered and they will have more contact with the childminders in the area as the lists at the moment are out of date, as the direct.gov website is not up and running properly.

thebody · 09/11/2009 18:21

I am a cm and would never ever dream of acting like this.. how awful for you and what a silly cow.. get rid asap and good luck..

ThatVikRinA22 · 09/11/2009 17:17

yep - id ring round anyway as she is too old to go on t he numbers, im afraid no matter how lovely your current CM is id be letting her go. really hope you get sorted, what a crappy thing to do.

Shoshe · 09/11/2009 17:01

As your child is over 8, she dosnt count on a CM's numbers, only under 8's do, so you may find that a CM has a place even if they are not advertising as having one.

frakkinaround · 09/11/2009 16:56

She's over 8 so theoretically any CM could take her on without exceeding their numbers. Food for thought....

I think, but may be wrong registrations usually specify 6 under 8, no more than 3 under 5 and no more than 1 under 1.

whooshspicemonster · 09/11/2009 16:50

How awful - I'd be spitting with rage! Can you ask at your DD's school and see if anyone's got a CM that could have her on an interim measure until you sort something else out? My CM has got space for a couple more kids after school I know and so it may well be that there is someone who could step into the breach.

edam · 09/11/2009 16:33

Sorry about that!

That sounds do-able. Sadly the secondary school ds is likely to go to (next door to his primary) chucks out at 3.15. So imagine I'll have to organise childcare until he's so old he's really embarrassed...

Original poster
itsmeolord · 09/11/2009 16:26

Edam your first post on this thread made me inhale hot chocolate.

When she starts secondary she will be leaving about the same time as me to get to school and she will be coming home for around 5.30- 6pm ish so I think that she would have half an hour on her own tops.
Her school will be quite far away from us.
School holidays will be a mixture of teenage group summer camps, partner and I taking holiday for us all to be together as a family and perhaps a week spent with on eof my parents. Both live in UK "holiday" destinations so she has a pretty good time there.

In reality, dp is back by around 5.45pm, it's only if the first train is too crowded that he ends up a little later.

OP posts:
edam · 09/11/2009 16:19

itsme, what are you going to do when dd starts secondary? ds is nowhere near that age yet, but I've been wondering how I'd handle it if I were working in London and not back until 6.30ish.

atworknotworking · 09/11/2009 15:09

A lot of nurseries have breakfast and after school clubs attached so don't rule them out entirely. Stick your general area up on here one of us may be able to help out or know someone who can.

pippin26 · 09/11/2009 14:54

As a childminder I am disgusted that she would behave in this manner. Most minders are all too actutely aware that you cannot let parents down unless for good reason.

I would suggest that you call your local FIS immediately and see if there are any other emergency childminders in the area or even one near where you work. Other suggestions:
Emergencychilcare.co.uk
childcare.co.uk

Fabster - sorry this is a contractual issue and nothing to do with Ofsted - they will not even entertain a complaint of this nature.

Original poster
itsmeolord · 09/11/2009 14:39

DD is too old for a nursery, she is 9.

I have called the council and they are emailing me the current list. Childminders are like gold dust here though.

We did try the school breakfast and after school club but they are only 8am until 6pm.
I need more like 7.45 til 6.30pm. I often work much later than this but dp is home by 6.30pm latest.
I am the main income.

I was hoping that I could hang on and put up with it as dd will not need a minder in 18 months or so when she starts secondary school but I think I'm going to have to find an alternative now. This is pretty much the last straw.

Many thanks for your help. At least I am a little calmer now.....

OP posts:
edam · 09/11/2009 14:38

What a cow!

AtheneNoctua · 09/11/2009 14:30

I wouldn't go back to that childminder, and I wouldn't give her a penny that I wasn't contractually obligated to give her. (i.e. if she didn't give you the contractual notice she could forget the contractual pay)

pleasechange · 09/11/2009 14:22

That's awful - feel for you as that all must be so stressful when you have a new job as well

Have you considered a nursery?

atworknotworking · 09/11/2009 14:03

Good point 4Kids if she made herself unavailable then she may well be in breach, extremely unprofessional in any event and I would imagine that if you did terminate without paying or giving notice she would be advised not to persue it anyway in view of her shoddy behaviour.

atworknotworking · 09/11/2009 13:59

Get a list from FIS at your local council, even if the minders show no vacancies call anyway, IME the lists are always so wrong its a joke. Have you had a look a bit further afield perhaps minders near where you or DH work, I pick up mindees from schools that arn't that local and have clients that travel a good 30-40mins to get to us.

I feel very for you btw, it's no way to treat someone and I can't figure out why she would contact some parents and not you, I hope she's sat next to MickyMouse feeling crappy for landing you in it.

Also ask around at the school most parents know who the CM's are and you can grab a couple

4kidsandlovingit · 09/11/2009 13:51

I am a CM and am totally shocked by what your CM has done. I have it in my contract that both I and parents give 4 weeks notice of holiday but allowa bit of flexability with the odd day at short notice.
As has been posted she knew well in advance when she would be going and coming back.
As for what you have already paid her, check your contract, she has certainly made herself unavailable to care for your child for this week (not holiday) so in effect could be in breach of her own contract.
I wouldnt pay her anything for this week at least if I were you. Apart from holidays if she is not available she should not be paid. IMO. Get ourself another childminder whos to say that she won`t do this to you again whether you speak to her or not.

Fabster · 09/11/2009 13:42

I would consider reporting her to OFSTED too, assuming she is registered.

AboardtheAxiom · 09/11/2009 13:30

That is terrible! I used to cm and wouldn't dream of doing this, as nannyl states, she is hardly up the road planning ad-hoc - her flights must have been booked in advance.

Dantthe4th's idea is a good one, if you call your local family inforation service ask for the number also for the childminding network in your area. Eash network usually has a vacancy co-ordinator, as well as that most offer a mentoring service to cms who are registering. Good luck in finding a new CM, hoep you get something sorted.

Fabster · 09/11/2009 13:29

I feel if you let her get away with this, things will only get worse.

nannyl · 09/11/2009 13:24

OMG

your CM has gone to Disney world and not even told you when she was going to be back

no wonder you are cross!

surely the flights have been booked for ages and ages.

not sure what to suggest but you have every right to be very very cross. How unproffesional

(if you are near hampshire i am around this week and could help you out)

Danthe4th · 09/11/2009 13:21

I would call your local council and ask for a contact for the childminding development officer(different name different councils) I would explain to her what has happened and ask if anyone is newly registering in the area, she may be able to suggest someone and she may also have a word with this childminder.What council are you under someone may have the contact details on here.
That is extremely unprofessional and gives childminders like me a bad name.

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