Nanny 20 weeks pregnant when she started job!!

HantsPants. I am sorry to be blunt but it isn't actually your decision about replacing her, you know.

If I were that nanny and had seen your post from last night, I could take you to an ET and win a case for sex discrimination.

You have to keep her job open for her unless she tells you she will not be coming back after maternity, and any action you do now to replace her before she has give you that decision is just piling up the evidence against you.

For all you know she may be putting into place plans to have someone look after her child so that she can return to work for those 3 days.

Assuming she will become a less flexible and more problematic employee simply by dint of having a baby makes my blood absolutely boil. How would you feel if your own employers were saying the same about you and your post-maternity return to employment?

Get your head around employment law, and start acting like a good employer.

If you do not want the baby coming along then fine, you can say no to her bringing the baby to work, but you cannot throw out the nanny.

Hesaysshesays - am also disgusted with you. Where does it say that her DP will not be taking time off to care for the baby (if ill), therefore enabling the mother to go to work? Sharing the time off is what happens in our house, in Athene's house and many others - your lazy sexism is the kind of low-level stuff that annoys the hell out of me. If you want to be sexist, then fine, fuck off and be sexist. But don't ever pretend that you are being anything other than that.

Jeez, I thought the posters on the childminder boards at least might have some inkling of appropriate behaviour towards working mothers.

But she won't be getting paid during those twelve months presumably? Can she afford to take that much time off? I would presume not if she wants a short leave, coming back with the baby.

I think you need to be very careful, and not announce anything to anyone -- including DCs. It is her decision, and not yours, whether she chooses to return from maternity leave. She probably won't return, as you suspect, if you say the baby cannot come with her. But, until she actually tells you (presumably in writing) that she is not returnin you can't do anything really. If you tell her she is not welcome back with that baby she may sit on her maternity leave for 12 months forcing you ti hire and pay for a temp for all that time. If you take her back back with the baby sho might come back after 4 weeks of no pay, even with a pay cut.

You have a lot to consider here.

And I still wonder if you can send the kids with her to her antenatal appointments.

Alresford - nice part of Hampshire... quite often take children on the Steam Train, plus InTech (science centre & planetarium).
Good luck in finding a temp nanny to see you though... with luck they will be able to become permanent.

I don't really know anything about employing a nanny, I do however know about discovering a pregnancy late on.

I was 25 weeks with DD1 when I had a scan but it took a few weeks from first test to scan and the scan was only as soon as it was because I had fertility issues that could mask a pregnancy.

I can well imagine her finding out about a pregnancy at 20 weeks and taking 8 weeks to realise how far on she was. not to mention coming to terms with the pregnancy, it is hard work to go from nothing to over halfway through a pregnancy in a matter of days or weeks.

Good luck working it out but if she is telling the truth she probably feels pretty confused and quite guilty at the moment. I left the job I had been in for 6 weeks rather than be pushed as I hadn't signed my contract yet but I still felt guilty.

i could have got to about 25 weeks i think before knowing, had i not missed a period. i just don't get any sort of bump at all until then.

I would be wanting to do some snooping to see if she found out sooner but then if I didn't trust or believe her she would be gone asap.

I'd really struggle with this 'not knowing thing.' I don't think I'd be able to believe it. 12 weeks yes - 22, sorry, no. And the fact that once she did know, she didn't tell you for so long would make me worry about how well we communicate. If she's coming with her kids you need to be able to be very open with her and it doesn't sound like a strength. And while I sympathise with taking a job that far along in the pregnancy assuming she did in reality know(who doesn't need the cash?), it would make me feel like taking the job and not disclosing was ALL ABOUT WHAT WORKS FOR HER with no regard whatsoever to the possible inconvenience for me. Which also isn't a good start to an arrangement like letting her bring her kids to work.

Athene, don't be silly, the op is not employing a man is she, right now we are talking about a woman. I was responding tailored to her situation, I could have said "employing people" if I had thought about it but it never crossed my mind that anyone would actually need that point clarifying TBH

whats the legal situation if you didnt discover till 26 weeks? tough? just curious, sorry

"you will always have the possibility that her baby will be ill - that is a fact of life when employing women"

In my house, that is a problem with employing men, too.

It appears I forgot to finish my "For example" point below. What I mean to go on to say was that her situation might make her a very dedicated and loyal employee. And you might find she is more willing than other people to go the extra mile.

Although I am still sceptical about her discovering surprise pregnancy 2 weeks after job started. I think she is telling aporkie. However, I aslo think if I were in her shoes I'd probably do the same thing. But, then if I were in your shoes, I'd be a bit hacked off about the lack of information. But, it's difficult to jhudge here I suppose since you can't really prove whether she knew or not.

hantspants, where in hampshire are you?

Im looking for a hampshire job after Christmas?

(i have a very good freind (size 10) who had no idea she was pregnant until she was 31 weeks... she even went to GP at 30 weeks with classic pregnancy symptoms, and Dr didnt suggest or test or notice either ... she wen back to Dr a week later when her medicine wasnt working after a week and only then did GP suggest pg test and she nearly died of shock when she found out she was just a few weeks away from becoming a mum!)

Did she not wonder where her periods were?

Have you decided what you are going to do and if she is to come back, how are you going to cover her maternity leave?

poor girl. tbh i'm with athene, i'd not rule out trying to make it work in the longer run, in return for a pay cut.

Did she avoid telling you at 25 weeks because telling you then would have fallen within a trial period? If this is the case then I suspect you have more than one leg to stand on - witholding information for her own gain would not be well looked upon really.

I am sure she is terrified, understandably. Can you not sit down and talk to her about it? Even if she gets childcare sorted you will always have the possibility that her baby will be ill - that is a fact of life when employing women, they may have children who may get sick so I think you will have to live with that one - you should have a plan in place incase she is ever sick in any case.

Have you completely ruled out keeping this nanny? I just think you might want to thorough explore all the pros and cons before you write her off. You did say she's a good nanny and you are otherwise happy with her. And I would much rather have a good nanny with the added complication of a child than a bad nanny without a child -- and there are plenty of those around so you have to consider that when/if you let this one go you might pick up one of the bad ones.

For example, she is probably well aware of the job market and knows she is unlikely to find another role in the area who wil take baby, etc, etc.

I would seriously consider offering her a pay cut to bring the baby back with her. And maybe use the 30% saving for one to one speech therapy for DS (if that is appropriate).

I was a nanny when I had my first child now 8. I had two part time jobs at the time. I did go back to one as the younger two would be going to school the following september. I saw them into full time school and then left. ( they didn't need a nanny anymore. I contuined to have thier boys for inset days and whenthey were off school but not ill anymore. It worked really well. But I agree 100% with they way they bring up thier kid and I bring up mine the same way. The treated mine like a member of the family. That is the only way it would work. You have to be able to know your children will still get treated the same. I did'nt take a cut in money but I had worked for them for neally four years with only a few days sick and only term time. I stoped doing ironing unless thier children was happy and mine was aleep.( I did it a few times but then it was a bonus) I was very lucky I had a baby who a four child two days a week. she loved it

reliesed end of my post dissapeered

was trying to say as she didnt legally tell you within the 15weeks of due date, does that make any difference to you not having to offer her job back?

ie she didnt fulfil her legal obligation to you, and it wasnt as if she didnt know then at 25weeks

I can't imagine it will be cost effective for her to find child care for her own baby...unless she has family.

I do know someone...rather large, admitidly, who genuinly didn't know she was pg untill she was 5 months.

Don't feel bad about telling her she can't bring her baby to work; as nannynick says...it would be changing the job.

rare not to know you are 5mth pregnant but does happen

not sure of the legal aspect but i thought you had to tell employers 15weeks before due date, so she should have told you at 25weeks, when she had known for 3 weeks iyswim

legally you have to offer her job back but you are quite within your rights to ask her not to bring baby

I guess she may decide to take 6 months off and then put her baby in nursery if there's few other options for her.

I'm sorry, but do you believe she didn't know she was prenant unti 22 weeks? I know she wouldn't be the first but sounds a very unlikely coincidence.

Wow, do you really have to give her paid time off for ante-natal appointments? Can you require she take the kids with her?

I would be a bit annoyed if I thought she knew and simply didn't tell me sooner.

And I would ask for more than a 20% cut in her pay to bring the baby back with her.