OMG my temp nanny who has 28 years experience left me this note in the diary.......

If I remember correctly, MP's nanny has a very cushy job with two pre teen kids who go to school all day every day.

mananny, excellent post. I was thinking the same thing. My 6 year old DD will put on a show and act like a poor deprived orphan if she thinks you;ll give her a piece of chocolaet for her distress. And it could very well be MP's DS was doing similar.

clumsy, "why did you have children?" is a bloody rude thing to say to someone... anyone. The amount of love one has for his/her children is not in any way related to the number of hours he/she works.

For what it's worth, my 6 year old and I also have an arrangement that I go to work all week long. I am not available during school hours. But, I am available on the weekend. That's our deal. The alternative is that she will give up all of her activities, forget the gym membership, and have no food to eat, and will dress in rags. When I point this out, she tells me to go to work.

I still think your anger is misplaced - I do a diary for my charges and would note this down in the book (I would also discuss it with mb.db when they got home)

Have you spoken to your son?

Goodness, all of you turning on OP have you never had horrid things said to you by your little darlings.
Sometimes I can't go to things, sometimes DH can't go to things, sometimes grandparents go, sometimes your nanny will go.
You can't go to everything, and yes, I imagine that is why op has a nanny, to go to the things she can't.

Nanny handled very rigidly and not at all well and perhaps DS more upset by the temp nanny than is letting on
Sounds like nanny and most posters are judgy mcjudging the OP

Do you know whether other children playing in your DS's rugby match had their parent(s) watching, rather than nannies?

what are your nanny's hours?? i bet they are long and the diary helps at handovers....better than forgetting things isn't it?

Sod the nanny, it's a minor thing surely. She's only temp and hasn't completely followed your wishes.

She'll be gone soon, she doesn't fit your family anyway. I don't find what she did that shocking.

My DSSs did a two-week English course a few years ago. They were at our house for the first week of the course, and I did the ferrying to and fro (DP was at work) and DP and I were the parents who showed up on the Friday afternoon for the end-of-week display of what the children had learnt.

For the second week of the course the boys were at their mother's house and their nanny did the ferrying to and fro. Their mother did not attend the end-of-week show - their nanny did, alone. She was the only nanny at the show - all the other children had parents/grandparents there, even where their nannies had been doing the ferrying all week.

The nanny told DP this, and DP tackled this with exW.

Another slant to it could be your DS made this comment for the dramatic value - testing out the new albeit temp nanny? I've known some pre teens say APPALLING things to me about their parents when I have babysat/temped for them!!!! I don't know how old the OPs DS is, but could that be a possibility too?

He can still feel disappointed though. Even if he knows that you can't be there he can still feel.

"Both my children know that we cannot support matches in the week due to work commitments but will do all we can at the weekends for them"

Oh well, as long as they know where they come in your priorities .....

Why did you have children?

"DS was disappointed that no one was able to watch his rugby match today..."

No one?
Where was she/he?

Writing that down without any conversation was very insensitive. There are better ways to communicate. She should have conveyed the message, but done it more tactfully.

cross-posted - I see you do make time to talk...also I don't think theoriginal is displacing her anger of not addressing the issue...it's possible to be both annoyed with eth nanny and concerned about ds and his feelings. the two aren't incompatible.

you aren't concerned at his comment???!!!

my oh my!!!!

I think perhaps she didn't want to have a potentially awkward convo when she's only been with you for 10 days.

theoriginal...looks like you're in for a drumming! no-one on here knows anything about your situation - apart from the fact that you have a nanny and that you didn't watch this match...

I had a nanny once who wrote things down rather than talk to me and I think that unless you've experienced that it's very hard to understand how deeply unpleasant it can be. writing stuff like this is not a good way of nanny and parent communicating about important things and working together as a team to address any problems. from the info it could be the case that she did this because there's never time to talk - I don;t know. Try to make sure you make time to talk (if you don't already). If you already do make time then you could remind her what things you'd like to use it for and what things are more appropriate for the diary.

Maybe your DS said those exact words and she was merely relaying them to you? Either way you ought to have a gentle chat with your DS rather than ask your temp nanny to sugar coat emotional issues in your children. Maybe she could have let you know he felt that way a little more tactfully but tbh I think the nanny has done you a favour by acknowledging the issue and giving you a chance to discuss it with your son.

Ok so she may have been a bit abrupt in her manner but maybe subtle hints have not been working and this was a last ditch effort??

"It's in her job description to watch him!"
Words fail me.
You should be addressing this issue with your son, not displacing your anger on the nanny. Perhaps what she wrote was a bit blunt, but now you know this is an issue for your DS you need to talk to him about it and not focus on the exact form of words the nanny used to tell you about it.

So, Originalmummypoppins you would rather she lied to you or made more of an effort to spare your feelings?

I think you're missing the point somewhat

If she was a permanent fixture, then you could say to her that you'd prefer to chat about something like this in future, but as she isn't just let it go, be glad that she brought it to your attention and focus on that.

I'd expect my nanny to tell me in person if my kids said that - but maybe she didnt have time to do so, so put it in the book? - so I could address it. Really feel for your DS though - my folks never came to watch me in matches at school either and I know how it sucks when all your friends parents are there yelling on the sidelines...