OMG my temp nanny who has 28 years experience left me this note in the diary.......

I would I would I would - in fact when you were having ishoos about 18 months ago I used to hang round wishing you needed someone when I'd just graduated so I could study my postgrad part-time and do your job because it would have been perfect! And you sound like a lovely, reasonable employer (and I don't have a thing about dishwashers). But alas I am getting married and buggering off to the other side of the world

if you have help with cleaning/ironing boffy - then you have time free to play/spend with your dc

She is surely taking the piss. I have four kids (three at home, one at uni locally but loafing in and out), and when I am at home with them all (as over the summer, for example) I manage to get two of them to and from school, do everyone's washing, some ironing and so on, check their homework, teach them music, and cook simple but good food from scratch every evening plus bf a baby.

I also do a bit of light gardening if I am out there (eg deadheading flowers), ensure the car is clean and full of petrol, and help DH with his job a bit sometimes. I do have help cleaning the house and doing a bit of the ironing, but that's mostly due to being partially disabled at the moment and having problems with my joints.

I think she's lazy.

as the children are older the nanny could manage to iron for an hour while they play games/go in garden/watch tv/eat lunch etc

is your nanny coming back (think you said she was ill?) - how long is this temp here for? Do you really need to find a new nanny?

Do you change your clothes hourly or something?

She is a lazy mare and I hope you don't give her a reference! What has she been doing all day? I work 31hrs over 4 days looking after two toddlers ( and 5yo in school hols ) and manage to do all the childrens ironing, clean both bedrooms, Hoover the kitchen and playroom daily, cook meals from scratch on top of going to toddler groups and entertaining two busy little people. The cleaner takes 4hrs to do my bosses ironing for the week and it's no small pile! Thank goodness your nanny is leaving!

what the fuck

are you serious MP?

so your children are at school all day and after school runs nanny is prob there 9.30-3ish and cant manage to do general nanny duties of tidying playroom/bedroom and some ironing - of maybe one hour a day (if 6hrs a week)

who will be paying for this ironing service?

we have an ironing lady, and sometimes i will take stuff to ironing shop (as i dont iron) or mb asks me if i can drop off sheets etc to be ironed - BUT your nanny is meant to iron

how long has she got left at yours?

pmsl

im off today but welcome to come to my house with whiskey

i could have done with you yesterday, esp as baby only slept 30mins (normally 2) and woke up grumpy, coldy and teething and then the last 4hrs of the day (3pm - 7pm) were hell with a misreable tired, ill, clingy baby - as well as 2 others

but thats what i am paid for

Oy Blondes, I am coming over to help nurse your household. I am bringing some whisky and a first aid kit and letting you get out for an hour.

Of the thousands of kids and young people I have taught over the past two decades, some had crap parents, some good parents, some were well cared for, some not, and you know what? There was no pattern or rhyme or reason at all, looking back. Not social class, not employment, not gender, nuffink. Although IME if a household has enough money coming in, kids do a bit better on balance.

you WILL find the perfect nanny apart from me

aww shucks

thank you tomp and boffy

working parens always get grief - ex dc were in class's of 16 or so and i was one of 4 nannies so other 12 or so parents didnt work

did they show up at every match? course they didnt and did they get grief for being out for lunch/gym/shopping?

no!!

Sounds like the Nanny has been in the job too long.I could spend 25 hours a day with my son for months on end and he would still whinge about me not paying enough attention
You can't win.
After 10 days I think the note is rather judgey and would be cross too.

These days most communication I would say I do via electronic methods - Twitter DM, E-mail for example.

So I suppose the question is would I have sent my boss a similar message.

' DS was disappointed that no one was able to watch his rugby match today. He said what is the point of having parents if they never come to see me '

To be honest, I wouldn't have sent that.
While some posters on here would want to be told that their child said this, I would not raise that on the first occasion of the child saying it (was it the first time the child has raised the issue?). Instead I would have had a chat with the child concerned, dug a little to see if there was a reason behind them saying such a thing - they are after all saying it to me, not saying to their parents... so maybe they were trying to get a reaction from me. Peer pressure can be an issue, if everyone else has a parent watching them play a match, they want a parent to watch. But that isn't always possible when both parents are working (or ill, or for whatever reason can't attend every match, especially away matches).

"He said what is the point of having parents if they never come to see me."
I would have seen that as being the child letting off anger, thus something I would have dealt with directly with the child... not passed it to the parents to deal with. If having had a chat with the child they still kept on with that attitude then I would raise it as a more general concern about their attitude towards comparing themselves to their peer group. Children need to understand that mum and dad work... they can't be at every match they play at school.

I'm not sure if there is a right approach to handling this kind of comment from a child. Some parents will want a nanny to tell them everything that happens, others may prefer the nanny to deal with it. It can be a tough call sometimes to decide what is something you should tell parents about and what can be dealt with there and then. As this was a temp nanny, maybe they didn't feel able to deal with it themselves... though I don't feel there was a need to convey the second sentence of the child's comment... that I see as being the child's anger coming out at the time... something they may not feel after thinking about the situation for a while.

Blondes, how about we all do a monster nanny share with you and NannyNick in charge? That will surely solve all our problems.

op getting a kicking and "why did you have children" thrown in for good measure.

i fear the words

Nanny
Rugby
and whiff of working mum
sent some of you off in a salivating frenzy

well hell if you are paying some one to watch your children you sure as hell don't expect acerbic comments

thats a good thing of having nannies - if your dc are ill, you dont have to take time off work and try to juggle things

dear god - lets all jump on tomp and say shes a crap mum for working and not going to her dc day activites

a professional experienced nanny (and i would say 28years is exp) shouldnt have written this in the diary but brought it up in conversation out of the children hearing

sure the comment was taken out of context

the nanny is there to be a suragotte parent while mb/db are working and IS there to make life easier for the parent so that they can go to work and pay for the nanny

my ex charges had matches every wednesday and thursday and ex mb/db NEVER went as they were working

my ex charges knew this and understood - and as tomp and athene said - then ex mb/db did all they could at weekends

i attended every one in their place, working parents cant attend everything but try to make the important things like sports day/xmas play

if my ex mb/db attended every function for both dc, then they would never be at work

Riven - not all nannies get 30k a year... but I'm sure you know that really Have to say though, it pays better than a civil service job I used to have.

No, but it can improve your bargaining position

Money can't buy you love.