Am I being unreasonable?

In my experience I have met parents either during the week in working hours and at weekends. Personally I wouldnt want anyone around at 7.45pm, with 4 kids to get ready for bed etc but then you dont have kids of your own. Generally Ive met mums and children during the week and on only one occasion have been asked if dad could meet us at a weekend as both he and my hubby work shifts and they wanted to meet the whole family. Otherwise I have found that the dads dont really have any input on childcare.

I do most of my parent meetings outside working hours, otherwise I am trying to talk about contracts, special needs, etc at the same time as looking after other peoples children. I just find it easier. In a nursery, there are other people to keep an eye on the children.

I think it is unreasonable, and would't do it.We sit down to family dinner at 7.30, that is precious family time, around a table, every night.

I have seen families on Saturday and Sunday mornings and bank holidays, but evenings after a long day working form 7.30 -6.30 is a big ask.

fc79, I am with you on this one

Julesnobrain, we like nice parents, I am lucky enough to have lots of them

I agree with the nursery comments. When you go and see nursery you do so in 'working hours'. If being a CM is a business then start off as you mean to go along. when I was comparing CM to nursery's it wouldn't have occurred to me to ask a CM to meet me outside core hours!!.. but then I am a nice parent!!

I have parents round at all times of the day and night. It's entirely up to you. If they come out of working hours, then I put out a small box of toys for their DC, but they accept that it is not the normal set up.

Unless you are desperate to have their DC, I would just insist on doing it your way. They will either fit in or decide to go elsewhere.

i wouldnt have a parent round at this time as i have a 2 year old so i would be busy bathing and getting her ready for bed. i have had parents round on a quiet morning or on a friday when im not working so that i can talk to them without distractions (although my daughter will be there) and i only put a few toys out as it was my day off. i have never had a parent that late. and if it put a parent off me because i wasnt being flexible about whn they visited so be it as i am not flexible aboout the time i finish i always finish 5.30/6 at push although i am more flexible about start time about picking kids up and dropping the off than most other childminders.

fc79, it's your business so you should operate it as you wish.

As a childminder myself, I would not invite a parent around at 7.45 pm (I haven't lost any business because of this inflexibility, if that's what some people term this as) I usually invite parents around for the first time during working hours (not during nap time either) but that is only if they have provided their name, address, telephone number & child's date of birth & that I know what days/hours they are looking for, I don't want my time wasted and vise versa. I personally make sure that I speak to a prospective parent over the phone before arrangeing a visit and would only make an appointment this way not via a website. I understand what you mean by troublesome always speak to parents over the phone, you can tell alot by doing this

Parents have usually read about my service on my website first so that really all they are doing on their first visit is to see my setting and to watch my interaction with my current mindees / their child. I wouldn't expect their first visit to last longer than an hour at most.

If parents like what they see, they can then ask for another appointment with perhaps their husband/partner; I usually ask them to visit at the weekend before 6.30pm as paperwork can take some time and certainly wouldn't do this while mindees are around during the week.

I think the point made about visits to nurseries during working hours is a good point, I really don't see why some people think that childminders should be any different!

7:45 is not that late really, so totally not unreasonable for them to ask, of course you don't have to so also not unreasonable for you to say 'sorry not convenient'.

i do however think it's good that dad wants to meet you as well as mum, even if (or especially if) he's not going to normally be doing drop off or pick up.

I don't get why you are prepared to turn down potential business for the sake of one evening. You can do as you like of course. That's the beauty of being self-employed. But I would want your undivided attention on at least one visit.

Coming to this a bit late, but the fact that you don't have children of your own to get to bed etc makes it a bit unreasonable of you not to see them in the evening. I do agree that not texting you until today was probably not a good move on their part but I totally understand that the Dad wants to be involved in the childcare decisions too. They may have thought that encroaching (sp?) on your weekends would be more unreasonable on their part.

It's not provocative, it's just different viewpoints. At 7.30 the Dad can probably come too, and they will probably have opportunity to get your undivided attention and not have to compete with the children you are looking after during work hours. In a nursery there will always be someone who can talk to a parent without other distractions even during working hours, but that is not the case with a CM, so I can totally see their POV.

To be honest if I asked a CM if I could come at 7.30 and they said no, I would assume you didn't want the business that much, and would just ring up the next CM in the list..

I have to say that I would find that very unhelpful and probably not bother with you. Why shouldnt dad be able to see where his child will be spending her time? It may be that if he works till late that 7.45 isnt late for his child and that she has a long afternoon nap

But if you are over run with parents who can fit in around you them you dont have to worry

I would NEVER have parents come round at 7.45....... I am always drunk by then ...(((((slopes off))))) sorry not helpful but wanted to lighten the mood

They might consider you to be not flexible and will cancel meeting you at all on that basis but you can do what you like, obviously.

You may or not be being unreasonable but I think you are unrealistic about how things can be with working parents.

fc79 - I'm not sure if you were referring to my posts in your post of 17.59 or not but just in case I would like to point out that you asked for opinions not unqualified agreement with your position. I disagree with you and I've told you why. That isn't 'trying to start an arguement', that's answering your question.

Plainly there is a disagreement just between these few posters about how late 7.45 is or isn't. Doesn't that help you see these parents point of view regarding the reasonableness of their request?

Also I would wonder if this is maybe the time they want you to work til?

I don't think yabu at all - your opening hours are xyz and your evenings are your own. As been pointed out, a nursery wouldn't entertain opening in the evening/weekend for a parent aside from maybe a one off open evening thing.

Give them a ring back and see if they can pop across at the weekend, agree texting is not professional!

YANBU, I think the parents in question are. When I looked at the nursery I wanted ds to attend we had to attend during opening hours, I presume that you will not normally be working at 7.45? Therefore why should you have visits at that time.

I would send her a message and say that you are only available during working hours. If her husband is working he will have to miss out.

fc79, don't take it to heart - have been on the receiving end myself on many an occasion .

Personally, I class 'early evening' as before 6.30 - especially if that's the time they arrive and they could be there for some time after that. 7.45 is not early evening - I for 1 am putting a very tired reception child to bed at that time and his sleep is more important than a 'potential' parent and mindee. Maybe that's why I am 'underpaid', lol... . If you want any advice, please CAT me x

Well you did want some opinions. Beside other peoples comments I would suggest instead of sending messages that you actually ring to speak to the parents, I'm a cm and I think it goes along way to make a bit of effort and its polite.
I would suggest a weekend as it sounds better if you don't want people around in the evening.But many people keep their children up later especially when dad works and I think it would of been nice on this one occasion to have gone with that.
Before children start with me I always invite the family round to meet my family, I want people to feel welcome in my home.
I hope they still want to come but if you already think they are troublesome perhaps they are better off going elsewhere.