One baby, one on the way - please help re: current nanny!

Opps, that first long paragraph was supposed to have a > at the beginning. Oh well, expect you realised that.

I think you're right limonchik - I do need to be a LOT more assertive. She is pretty touchy (I once tried to talk to her about swine flu precautions and she got tremendously offended that I thought her hygiene was sub-par. That was the last bit of 'feedback' I ever tried to give her). Things have improved since she started though - at the beginning, she was too scared of our labrador to go into the kitchen herself, meaning that I had to take extra hours off work to fetch her things from the kitchen (e.g. glass of water, baby's food from fridge). She is now thankfully able to go into the kitchen.
I feel the biggest concern nannies have (at least it's biggest concern I have as a nanny) is what happens whilst mum is on maternity leave.

So I feel you need to start chatting about that side of things as soon as you feel able to do so - such as saying things like "it is my intention that you continue to care for InsertChildsNameHere whilst I am on maternity leave, though I may need more help around the home depending on how my pregnancy goes". Something like that, so it reassures that the job is still there while keeping it open for you to add additional duties if necessary.

Nanny will also be worried about having you around at home a lot of the time... again you can reassure her that you will probably be spending a lot of time resting, that you won't be interfering too much during her working hours.

I think my inexperience is showing. I've just had a look around the forum and I'm stunned at some of the things that nannies may be willing to do for their employers.

Do you mean the Rat catching, Plumbing/drainage, live-stock feeding? Those are perhaps the more unusual duties but are one's have been talked about on here in the past.

like preparing children's meals (I do this), doing some children's laundry (I do this) or even getting bottles of milk ready for DD and perhaps washing up after self / sterilising bottles (I do this).

Oh! You mean NORMAL nanny duties.
I'm with Floaty... what does your nanny actually do, given that they aren't doing those normal things.

Do you think I've been a bit of a mug here?

Do we need to answer that question? I think the answer is quite clear on that one!

I don't think either of us (me OR the nanny) think of me as the boss!

Oh dear... that does not sound like a good working relationship. While you can certainly be a friend to your employee, they still remain your employee.
Do you have a job where you have people reporting to you? If so... then you need to transfer those work skills you have, to your home.

Concentrate on you... what help you need around the home both now and as your pregnancy goes forward. Your nanny with luck will be prepared to do a lot of child related things they are not doing now. They may even doing more general household things as well - pushing a hoover around every now and then.

I don't have a nanny now as my three are older but have in the past ,I am staggered by your list of things that your Nanny doesn't do,if its not a rude question what does she do?The whole point of a nanny is that they are in loco parentis,in other words they do what a mother would do,also most nannies have more than one child to look after because that is when they are moist cost efficient as a form of childcare .

Im a nanny! Thats better!!

I`m aanny and am very happy in my job (may i add).

I`m in Leicestershire. Where are you?

It sounds to me that your nanny has a VERY good deal.

Please add to your post if you need any further advice.

Btw, I think you've fallen into quite a common pattern for first time mums/nanny employers where you're so pleased to find someone who looks after your baby well that you let a lot of other stuff slide. If you do employ another nanny it'll probably be easier to see you can have a professional relationship with a nanny who does all those little jobs AND looks after your children really well.

I have a very similar job to your nanny - 4 days a week, 8am-5pm with one baby. Other than just looking after the baby I:

cook her meals
make extra for the freezer
wash and sterilise her bottles
clean the kitchen after we have used it
load and unload the dishwasher
sweep and mop the kitchen floor
do the baby's laundry and ironing
tidy her bedroom
tidy the living room at the end of the day
change and wash her bedding
buy nappies, wipes, milk, bread etc if they are running low

And that's very standard "nursery duties" - most nannies will do those things in their jobs.

It sounds like your nanny has a very easy job with you!

It's not unreasonable at all to ask her to do anything related to the children. Some nannies will refuse, of course, but the majority see it as part of the job.

Now is an excellent time to redraft the contract and if she doesn't like it then you will certainly be able to find a new nanny for such lovely hours with 2 young children. A lot of nannies look for positions with a baby because there's more chance of the position being long-term.

Hello, I agree that you need to be more assertive!

Im a nanny and look after 3 children 7.40-6.30. All the nannies I know work these kind of hours. Your nanny seems to be on to a really good thing with you-one child and 4pm finish!!!

I think you do need to draw up a new contract and ask her to speak with you one evening for a contract review, have it planned first what the new position entails, if she doesnt like the new arrangements she can always find another job, you will have nannies queueing up to do 8.30-5.30 in my opinion!

Obviously she has been a good nanny and you dont want to upset her and if possible you want to keep her, but if what you need doesnt fit in with what she's prepared to offer then there's not much you can do about that.

"Presumably, however, she is wondering what the arrangements will be?"

I would guess she expects that when you go back to work after ML she will look after both children full time. Her main worry was probably that you would want to get rid of her when you go on ML - I know nannies whose bosses have expected them to go and get a temp job for 6 months elsewhere and then come back to them after ML! I'm a nanny and if my boss told me she was pregnant that would be my first concern. It wouldn't occur to me that my boss would put the older child in nursery so I could just look after the baby though - it makes no sense financially.

Maybe after the 20 week scan would be a good time to sit down with the nanny and discuss expectations for ML and after you've gone back to work. I think you need to be a bit more assertive yourself though - you are the boss after all!

Shes onto a bloomin good job with you . Most nannys work 8 till 6.30 7pm so finishing at 4 is fantastic .

Agree with dinkystinky - if current nanny doesn't want to look after two children then you should have no problem finding a nanny who will. Most nannies I know work for families with more than one child, since nannies become a more economical form of childcare the more children you have!

We have a nanny and DS1 - aged 3 and a half who she has looked after since he was 7 months old - and DS2 who is now 7 months old and who she will also be looking after when I go back to work next week. She has previously been a live in nanny for families with 2 elder children and one baby. As she's been with us so long, I told her as soon as we had the pregnancy confirmed and we kept her on while I was on maternity leave to look after DS1 or after the baby so I could have quality time with DS1 - which was a real luxury but really made the transition to 2 children very smooth for us. I think you have to be honest with her that you are pregnant with no 2 and how would she feel about looking after both your DD and the baby? What would her expectations of this be? If she's quite assertive she'll let you know. We have given our nanny a small rise - but our eldest will be at nursery for the mornings from October onwards so she wont have both boys all day long - and a small increase in holiday entitlement. If she is not willing to look after both children do let her know you will need to search for another nanny who will be willing to do so - given the current job market situation out there I know of plenty of nannies who are good and looking for jobs and who have experience of sole care of several children including babies at once.

a nanny is employed by yourself for your family needs and cares for the child/ren of that family, i started work for one family with a baby of 4 months and by the time i left they had three under 5...
after each baby was born a small pay rise was given but certainly not all families are as generous or should they need to be made to feel they have to increase pay.
Good luck

Surely the big advantage of a nanny is that they look after all the children in the family? Normal practice is that the nanny will look after the new baby too - some families offer a small payrise, some don't.

Does her contract say anything about subsequent children? I know some nanny contracts specify that the nanny cares for X and any subsequently born children.

Tbh, the nanny probably expects that once you go back to work after ML she will have both children - that's the norm.