uncomfortable with childminder driving my dd about

oblomov and thebody I think we will have to agree to disagree about this - people have different attitudes to risk and that is OK. It is OK to be risk-averse, and OK to be more daring, providing you are not putting anyone at risk by being more daring.

I don't know about the original poster, oblomov but the basis of my fear of cars and driving is based primarily on a reading of comparative risk statistics and I feel there is no better way of getting things into perspective than looking at the statistics. For what it's worth, the the OP's fears about forward-facing car seats are not irrational. Rear-facing car seats have been proven to be around 5 times safer than forward-facing ones.

My wariness based on statistics has been compounded by my personal experience of two extremely traumatic incidents while being driven by other drivers, and one family incident whereby my uncle's passenger was killed by a careless driver while he was severely affected, mentally.

well if the cm is insured to drive and hasnt been banned then surely she is a good a driver than any one else..

how could you test her ability? get her to drive while you drive behind or covertly watch her going about her business..

its a nonsense...you either trust a cm or you dont, you cant pick and choose.

narmada, i appreciate that car driving is dangerous. so is walking your child in a buggy down to the local shops. we have to get this into perspective.
Op's fears are irrational. can you not see this. you need to trust your cm to look after your children. i am not sure what the basis for op's concern is.

Oblomov, I think you are being unfairly condemnatory of the OP. Why is worrying about car safety irrational? Do you have any idea how dangerous it is to travel in a car compared to many other activities? Many people are abysmal and unsafe drivers and it is a wonder how they are still alive at all. People can be incredibly touchy about any criticism of their driving, taking it as a personal slight, when, actually, we would all benefit hugely from more focus on road safety.

thebody Childminders do not have to undertake any test to prove their driving skills, despite being regulated heavily in other areas. Even if I totally trusted a person in other respects - e.g., general day-to-day care of my kids, I would want to know about their driving before I let them go out in a car.

I do agree that some people worry unnecessarily about all manner of activities which are statistically not very risky actually. Personally, I wouldn't withdraw my kids from school trips because I think that's not reasonable or fair, but I would make sure the driver was responsible and had no history of accidents or convictions.

all sensible parents are concerned about their childs safety and welfare but I think this is over the top...

my kids have been at school with the poor kids who arnt allowed to go on school trips or treats as they have parents who are so worried about their safety.. its irrational and a bit selfish I think..

i dont like flying but get on with it as wouldnt let my kids miss out on holidays.

again as a cm I wouldnt deal with a parent who wasnt able to be reassured by my ability to drive safely etc.. registered cms have to jump through hoops as regards safety and children are usually watched much better than they are at home or with grandma and even at some nurserys....

I am wondering what the basis for the OP's neurosis is. she works in a hospital, but other than thta, she hasn't given any explnation to her irrational concerns.
what does your dh think OP ?

I am a cm and couldnt take on mindee whose parent didnt trust me to drive her around. We do lots of activities and go to lots of places. I have new fitted car seats and all the relevant business insurance.,

if a parent couldnt trust me to drive then there is no trust at all and that wouldnt work for me..

OP, I don't think your concerns are unreasonable at all - I mean, about putting a child in a front-facing seat and being driven by someone whose driving safety you don't know about.

People think I'm completely uptight, but I don't care. I have a thing about car safety - we have rear-facing toddler seats and I have no hesitation at all about turning down lifts from friends if I think their driving is rubbish.

On the CM issue, which is what you were asking about after all (!) maybe a nursery would be the better option. Some nurseries do take kids out in group transport (e.g., minibuses) but I think (if it's anything like our nursery) you could opt out.

I know, if we could off-set our taxes to include a new car like a company car. There is NO WAY we can afford a brand spanking new car!

So what if its got a few dents and scratches Mine has lots of scratches so am not too bothered about that, I do expect them to treat it with respect however, not like the children I used to mind, eating and drinking in the car was banned after their rubbish was left and spilled drinks were all over the upholstery making it sticky and unusable for my family to use (I had it valeted and gave bill to the parents - it was done by their children so they had to pay).

I do walk though to most places, it just makes our life easier with alot of children if we can use our cars.

I don't live walking distance from a park so we go in the car and also I take children on outings to places which buses don't go to.

I have a permission form which I asked parents to read and sign to say whether or not I could drive them to places.

I drive a T Reg 7 seater with fully comp insurance and valid MOT with car seats relevant to most ages of children. If the parents wanted a very expensive one they would have to buy it and I would make sure it was only be used for their child.

Why don't parents want their child in a car anyway? If I was using the bus because they did not want me driving it would cost more and fees would have to go up.

I know I'm late replying but it's just in case any other mums have similar concerns.

mollynp:

Hello.
I will fisk through your post in the hope I can reassure you. Although you should be addressing these concerns with your own childminder - have you spoken to her about this?

"Basically is it normal for childminders to take kids out in the car much if they don't need to (i.e. don't need to drive to schools, etc.)?" Yes and it depends on the circumstances. If the childminder is running late for whatever reason (for example, a parent brought a child late to her) and she wants to get all the children to school and nursery on time, she may use the car instead of walking. Remember too, there is a financial incentive to walk. After all, the cost of fuel in very expensive and although some childminders claim it back on expenses, the childminder still has to pay cash up front for the fuel so it is simplest not to do the journey by car in the first place unless necessary.

"I am really uncomfortable about someone I don't really know driving about with my dd, when i don't know how skilfull a driver she is or how safe her car seat is/if it is correctly fitted. I am very anal about car seats, and my dd has a stage 1 rear facing one in our car, so i'm also not really happy about her being forward facing in the car."

This is entirely understandable. Speaking as a childminder who uses her car, I always show my car to prospective parents and ask them whether they want to use my car seats (I have a collection of 10 car seats!) or their own.

When I sign the contract with parents (and only once I received the deposit cleared into my bank account), I offer them my prospectus (62 pages long!) containing my policies, procedures, permission slips and copies of my certificates. This includes a car use policy. I explain why I use the car and my prospectus has a copy of my MOT, car insurance and a certificate saying that I have completed a course on car seat fitting and have done so with the necessary competence. With 3 children of my own, and with 3 mindees on my books, I also get plenty of practice!

"Is it acceptable to ask her not to take her out in the car?" If you do insist on this requirement, the childminder will probably have to reconsider whether to take on your child. It depends on how many other children she minds, and their ages and needs. I do not know how old your daughter is, but children do not fair well being cooped up in the house all day and if there are others in her care, they will need to go out on outings. Depending on the distance, sometimes it is simply not feasible to expect 6 children under 8 to walk, for example, along very busy roads to the nearest soft play centre or park. To a certain extent, it depends on where the childminder lives.

"or if i'm uncomfortable with dd being forward facing, should i buy another rear facing seat for her car (£200-250)?"
That should not be necessary. The childminder should have the necessary equipment in good working order. The car seats my mindees use are never older than 3 years and are in the best condition possible. However, if you are not convinced, it is ultimately your decision if you wish to purchase a car seat for your daughter and the childminder to use.

"Also the car has loads of scrapes and dents in the side, which doesn't make me entirely confident!" I have a few dents, and none were my 'fault' and all occurred whilst the car was stationary. For example, I have a dent from where someone in a neighbouring parked car opened their car door into mine. Then there is the dent from where someone pushed a shopping trolley into my back bumper.

I hope this helps ? it is always difficult to reassure someone over a forum. Please go speak to your childminder. I must admit that I would be a little put out if one of my parents had asked these questions on a forum and not to me personally.

(My mindees are on holiday this week btw, just so you don't think I'm on mumsnet during working hours!)

Claire, I think you are just under a year late in reply

hi i am a childminder and i would say to you to speck to your childminder. i use the car regulary with my children but have permisson to do so. a good childminder will always use the car at some point for outing etc. in terms of the car seat if it concerns you that much then you should provide one you can not expect the childminder to go a buy a specific seat costing over £200 that is rediculos. in terms o the condition of the car as long as it is road worthy any damage may not have been caused by the cm we dont earn mega money to be driving around in bran new mercs

Have you come up with a solution with the CM molly? How's it working out?

That's very supportive and helpful Eleanor

Most mother's have an achilles tendon when it comes to their child's safety and car safety is certainly a more reasonable anxiety than many based on statistics of real risk. It's also always difficult when you first start using childcare.

the op is barking imo

Mollynp
Do check the carseat fits your childminder's car before you buy another set of tether straps. Not all front seats can take a tether strap, and the childminder may need to travel with 3 car seats in the back - as the rear-facers are usually wider she may not be able to fit one in.

WE use rear facers, but when the DDs are with the childminder they use forward facing (can't fit our rear-facer in her car). It's not ideal, but it's a pragmatic decision and I like the fact she takes them out and about. I kept DD in her rear-facing baby carrier as long as it was safely possible (up to 18m in her case when she reached the weight limit).

I will have to look into it more I think.

The bit that the seat belt goes into is actually on the seat, the the belt is anchored behind the seats on the side wall, the same as the front seats, so I dont know if they can be moved.

Shoshe I have a VW Sharan, and it does suggest that for younger children you reverse the seats. The seat belt buckle is actually on the seat, so for the clip to be on the right side, you would have to swap it over with the opposite one. However, mine has the child seat integral to the car seat (for 9m+), so the seat belt positioning wouldn't actually matter as I'd be using the 5 point harness which was part of the actual seat. Fab car and I love it!!!

shoshe, I have read somewhere about putting carseats on rear facing seats, but can't remember what the verdict was, why don't you ring the manufacturer of the seats and ask them, I had to ring britax the other day about a 2 point belt problem and they were really helpful.