Nanny running personal errands while on duty

Bookien - I would be annoyed if I had a nanny doing these things. Dress shopping absolutely a no no. The bank - I still think that she should let you know first especially because you asked her to take them to the museum, also could this not have waited until the kids were back at school? Also, I find it entirely reasonable that you make suggestions what she might do with the children: they are YOUR children and YOU pay the nanny. Also, I would expect a nanny to provide quality time for all the children, including the baby. Not sure if that happens if she thinks that she can do her things when she is just with the baby. I myself would be quite concerned in such a situation, but then again I strongly favour a child centred approach especially if you pay someone to be with your children. From what you are saying, you might be better off with a good au pair as long as the housekeeper is also present (I wouldn't leave a young child solely in the care of an au pair - but would like to have an adult around just in case).
Anyway, good luck.
Good luck

Hi, Ive been a nanny for 6yrs and when I have sole care for a child if i need to go to the bank or pick up anything at the shops i always always try to do something for the child after. for example, a soft play or save time to go to the park on the way home. i think its really important to do this, and if, for whatever reason, i cant fit something in for the child i feel ever so guilty! (on the child) I am always honest to the parent and usually txt when im out to see if they need anything, and i always write down in a diary what i have done that day. I only go to the shops if i need to and i definately dont go if there is another practical time i can go, say on the weekend or on a day off. i think you should definately say something.trust me you should say something otherwise it will just keep brewing and as a nanny myself i always prefer the parent to say something rather than be unhappy. she should have def asked you first and really if a parent asks me to take children somewhere i do, unless i have other plans for them (child related plans!) and i ask if thats ok.

keep us posted!

bookien you sound entirely reasonable to me.

I would ask her our for a coffee/lunch/drink and be completely open and honest with her. Ask her how she is feeling about the job because you have noticed she has lost her mojo slightly and perhaps you can work together on whatever is bothering her.

Good luck.

Depends on your motivation for hiring nanny. SAHMs or those with part-time nannies perhaps don't expect children to have to travel or hang around waiting for errands but employ nannies soley to add child-centred experiences/attention without life's boring bits (maybe paralleling real life of some SAHMs!), whereas full time working parents often seem more relaxed about errands/real life, as nanny effectitly replaces parent's role for the day.

Your nanny must know that the children report back their day. I think its absolutely appropriate to tell nanny 'don't go dress shopping'. However i agree that bank trips might be necessary sometimes and it doesn't seem like there was much/any notice of having to take older child with her.

Since you have kept her for so long you must value/respect your nanny enough not just to give up on her without first talking your concerns through and seeing if things improve. I do find it odd though and would not like it myself that you regularly suggest how and when activities will be organised, especially obvious playground trips/playdates.

Despite not indulging your child i hope bookien that you don't severely discourage your child from calling or saying how they feel. For them to feel they can communicate with you and that you will listen to what they consider important (whatever that is) is valuable for both of you.

Funny how experiences differ: ime staffed households' housekeepers would be asked to do things by nannies (perhaps to do with likely level of education).

I do my own and my bosses personal errands with charges in tow - but I'd draw the line at clothes shopping (unless maybe I just had a baby who had fallen asleep in the buggy and I was killing time). Maybe your nanny has got too used to just having a baby at home? I would also feel a bit miffed with my boss giving me too many specific instructions for how to organise my day though.

There are at least 10 ATMs within a ten minute walk of my apartment - wherever I want to go I go past them.

And you can deal with suspicious activity on the telephone and by email, you know!

Hi Bookien
My nanny does do some personal errands - like the bank - but she always let me know before hand. Sometimes she has had to do soemthing last minute (pick something up from home that she forgot etc) again she told me when I got home and I think this is fine - as long as it is planned around exisiting pre-arranged activites for the children , and she is open about telling me where my children have been.
Usually the children enjoy the trips - they normally make an event of it by going for an ice-cream or something nice!
I do however, draw the line at personal shopping - this can be doen at the weekend/ days off /after working hours.

well you at least need to get to the bank to use the machine outside... the errand is the journey there etc too, not just the bit inside the bank!
What if the bank phoned you and said 'theres been some suspicious activity on your account. Please could you come in and see us to sort things out?' Would you say 'yes, but not in the next 6 weeks'?

You hardly need to set foot in a bank to pay in a cheque!

Wow, so if someone gave you a cheque at the beginning of the school holidays you'd wait 6 weeks to pay it in to avoid trekking to the bank with the children?

No, none of that stuff. I wait until I am on my own.

Message withdrawn

Re: household hierarchy housekeeper can be nanny's 'line manager' or they can be on two totally different streams. Our housekeeper would never tell me what to do and I only tell her what to do when I'm relaying a direct instruction from my boss (and even then I feel really awkward) so it's enitrely possible that the issue doesn't arise.

Personally I only run errands in work time if I really, really have to and I can't arrange something else for my charge to do so he doesn't have to come with me (a workshop I can drop him at). If I had a baby charge I might be slightly more inclined to do things like popping to the bank quickly but school aged children are tricky to handle when they get bored so it's simpler all round if I don't!

On the disengagement issue I've never had that as a nanny but my current boss fired a nanny after 3 years because she felt she wasn't putting her heart into it anymore and it was having a negative impact on her child. Which is fair enough. Fresh blood is not necessarily a bad thing.

I think the OP is getting some undeserved harsh comments here. She is talking about a nanny she has had for years who appears to be disengaging now. What would annoy me about the day is that the nanny hadn't said boo about the bank when asked to go to the museum. If this was me and the nanny said "I have a bit of a problem. Would it be okay if we went to the bank today?" I'd say oh ok, fine. Do what you need to do. But the lack of forthcomming information described here would annoy me. And if it was common practice it would begin to errode the trust in the nanny/employer relationahip.

I recently had a nanny who little by little spent more and more of the day doing the things she chose to do and neglecting more and more of contractual duties. I now have another nanny who does all the things she didn't do and things I haven't even yet tthought to ask her to do. If old nanny came to me with yet another reason why she had to do something other than what I asked her, it would grate on my neres. IF new nanny did it, I wouldn't even hesitate to say yes of course go ahead. So I think a one off is very different from a recurring pattern. And I get the impression the Op might be tlking about the latter.

I think the older child is a right squealer..

There's a difference between running errands and taking your charges dress shopping or to a meeting at the bank though! My rule of thumb - as always - is, would I find this acceptable if I was doing this with my own children? Post office, going to vote, picking up dry cleaning, quick supermarket shop - all perfectly fine. That's what I used my lunch hour for or sometimes even ran out of the office during "work" hours to get money from the ATM, buy a bunch of flowers, whatever. If I needed more time than that, then I would have to negotiate with my boss or other people in the office in order to take more time out. I think the OP is righly upset that the nanny wasn't honest about what she was doing that day and didn't mention in advance that what sounds like a good portion of the morning was going to be spent on helping the nanny's friend.

i do personal errands in work time such as go to bank/po/get milk etc

i am also happy to pick up mb dry cleaning or pop into town and get her bday pressie from db (thats tomorrowa plans )

its give and take

tbh a child sense of timing isnt great and a 5min ride and a 5min queue in bank could SEEM ages to a child where it is really long iyswim

i personally would be a bit miffed if my mb said take charges to park/museum etc - she lets me decide what to do - and as long as the children are happy then both mb/db leave me to my own thing

their view is happy nanny, happy children=happy parents

though i do understand that you are annoyed as your dc didnt do anything - a visit to band *AND park/museum etc would have been better

sounds to me that your nanny isnt sole charge and doesnt always have the children, so prob does make plans with the baby

does the housekeeper often have middle/eldest?

maybe you need to make guidelines clearer

I took my charges with me when I went to vote. When else can I get things done. I work 7am to 10pm so of course they have to come with me.
Do you never take you children on errands? I totally agree with IOnlyRead.
Get over it.

I don't think its acceptable that the nanny does personal errands while on duty. If it is important and must be done whilst on duty then she should have told you in advance and gotten permission.

I would have a meeting with the nanny to discuss your dissatisfaction and ask her to keep activities which are for the benefit and the development of the children and make it this clear to her.

As a (step)mother I don't do long personal errands with the children (2 DSSs and DD) during school holidays, so I certainly wouldn't agree to my nanny doing her errands unless it was urgent and unavoidable and she had told me that she had to run a personal errand (in which case I would probably want to organise an alternative activity or some form of compensation for the children).

If she works for you full time Mon-Fri when else would she get chance to go to the bank?
I presume you do such things in yoour 'lunch hour' why shouldnt she?

Going to the bank for a meeting (rather than just using the cashpoint/paying-in machine) and spending time shopping in M&S without visiting the in-store cafe for tea & cake, I do not feel are suitable activities.

I am wondering if you are micro-managing a little too much though. Does your nanny need to be given suggestions on where to take the children?
Is it up to your housekeeper to be doing the day-to-day management of your nanny... rather than you? (In household staff hierarchy, isn't your housekeeper above the nanny, thus the nannies line manager?)

Does the nanny get a lunch hour (as you have other staff who could care for the children)? If so, then it's completely unreasonable for these errands to be done during working time, rather than during lunch time.

I think you need to keep an on the situation, as you already appear to be doing.

My bosses encourage me to live a normal life when looking after my charge, I'm allowed to go shopping and run personal errands.

. Nanny been there for years and dares to take children on an errand?

Christ almighty. Maybe you need your housekeeper to wave burnt feathers under your nose to rouse you from the shock of your children doing something as plebian as going to the bank.

You must be a troll. Or totally up you own ass.