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Original poster

Socialising With Childminder.... good idea or recipe for disaster!?

36 replies

Toothache · 31/05/2005 08:58

dd has been with this Childminder for 2 or 3 months now. Prior to that ds and dd were in the same Nursery together (got too expensive... long story).

Anyway, all in all I have been happy with her. Although DH isn't happy about it at all. A couple of mornings he's been dropping dd off he's had to hand her over to the Childminders DH who just says "She's on her way down, she's just dressing *(her 2 yr old ds)".

DH has had a really bad feeling about this. I'm a bit more laid back about it than him though.

Anyway.... back to the point.... She has invited me to night out with her and I don't know what to do. I said Yes coz it does sound like a good night!

But now I'm thinking would it be better to keep the relationship totally professional? Or is it a good thing to spark up a friendship with my Childminder.

Has anyone else become friends with there childrens carer?

TIA

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Original poster
Toothache · 31/05/2005 10:05

It's not for another 6 wks or so, so maybe I'll just see hgow it goes until then.

Also, it's my Ds's 4th birthday party at the end of June. There will be 2 or 3 kids there about the same age as her ds.... d'you think I should invite her ds along?? Dd (10mths) seems to really like him and I could do with the numbers TBH!

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Original poster
Toothache · 31/05/2005 10:04

turmoil

OP posts:
Aero · 31/05/2005 10:00

Yes, agree marsy - gut feeling important here. Go with that.

Aero · 31/05/2005 09:58

In this case, (and in most others) I'd also say keep it professional but mainly because there are slight misgivings on the part of your dh about the business side of the relationship anyway.
Having said that, I am registered to childmind though haven't worked since just before ds2 was born, but the last people I minded for were so lovely and the mum and I struck up a lovely friendship and still meet from time to time with the kids, though not on nights out etc. In our case though, there is complete trust and respect for each other on both sides. So I guess though we meet outside of actual minding, it's still to do with the kids, but friendships can work out, but I'd usually advise against in nearly all cases, just because problems can and do occur unfortunately.

MarsLady · 31/05/2005 09:54

go with your gut toothy!

blossom2 · 31/05/2005 09:53

It doesn't always have to end in a disaster. I'm still good friends with our childminder, however it is strange that she has initiated the friendship.

I would keep it professional unless you were really happy with her. I also find the 'she'll be down in a moment' a bit strange. My childminder was always there when i droped off DD and when she really was getting dressed, her DH always asked me to wait.

slartibardfast · 31/05/2005 09:52

People at work have to decide similar things all the time - which, if any, colleagues they will socialise with - including their own managers and others they manage: these work relationships are always in the background, but best to decide on normal social grounds imho - will you enjoy an evening in this person's company?.

Mosschops30 · 31/05/2005 09:46

Message withdrawn

MarsLady · 31/05/2005 09:27

be friendly etc but plead busyness, tiredness. It's a fine line to thread and you've only been using for services for a short time. Imagine if you get really friendly and then there's a miscommunication about hours or rate.... not good

Original poster
Toothache · 31/05/2005 09:22

Thats kind of what I'm swaying towards.... but she's clearly making an effort to spark up a friendship. [concerned emoticon]

OP posts:
MarsLady · 31/05/2005 09:21

keep it professional. less chance of misunderstanding in the future and it protects you both from taking advantage of each other. imo