Moving out of the area: when do I tell our nanny?

just make sure she doesnt find out by estate agent ringing home about something or leaving a message on the ansaphone

house sales can go through really fast, so it is possible as you have sold, that you could be moving in 8weeks time .......

you do really need to broach the subject soon - having a nanny is so different from working in an office - you have that personal connection

as bakersgirl said - i would be very hurt if i found out my family were moving and hadnt said anything to me - if anything it shows a lack of respect

If she finds out later you waited a while before telling her she might go anyway as she feels hurt. I know I did but I stayed as I loved the child and liked the parents. didn't stop me feeling hurt though.

HQ I think it is interesting to compare what you have written here to the attitudes of the OPs on this thread and this one too.

How are you going to answer the question from your nanny 'why didn't you tell me sooner'?

In my experience people react better to uncertain situations when they are told as much as possible as early as possible. If they are good employees (and they trust you as a good employer), you will work together to make the best of an unfortunate situation. If you all start looking at the contract and deciding that your legal rights and obligations are more important than your relationship as employer and employee (and as family and carer), nobody will end up happy.

Don't ask opinions and then get sarcastic if you don't like someone answering you in a perfectly pleasant way as I did.

You are worried about your DS's emotional well-being but you should also be concerned about your nanny's economic well-being in this recession. She will understand the stages involved in a house purchase/move (and if she doesn't then you can explain them to her) so give her the information and then you can work together for the good of your son and your nanny.

As she is such a wonderful nanny and has taken such good care of your DS I think you should show her some respect and consideration and tell her your plans now.

Thank you FPIAG

AN - what happened?

AtheneNoctua Wed 19-Aug-09 16:44:57 - second paragraph. Nothing to do with the OP at all.

frAKKINP - I have read through this twice and can't see where you have quoted your quote from and I would be interested to read the whole thing.

TBH at 16 months children are very resilient and soon adapt.

"hearing what I can do for her and how she doesn't have time to do her job in return"

???????? at your (I hope now ex) nanny.

She does her bloody job, you pay her. End of.

Moral obligations aside, you have a duty as an employer to carry out an appropriate redundancy process. This isn't about deciding as an individual when would be the best time to tell her, you need to ensure that you are carrying things out legally.

I suggest you check out your obligations as an employer. If she's got more than 2 years employment with you then you'll need to pay her a redundancy payment. Have a look at this site for further information.

I know that no one learns about HR practice at college unless of course they are an HR professional, but if you are going to enter into an employment contract you really ought to protect yourself from legal challenge. Good luck with the house sale, I hope it goes well.

Yes, I agree with that frakkin. If the OP is in a position to give more notice with out great risk to her financial position or her son's quality of care then it would be nice for her to give more notice. I just noticed on this thread that several people were telling her she was "morally obligated" or that she "must tell her now".

Maybe it's because I just got rid of a nanny who took the mick at every opportunity in the last couple of months and I am fed up with hearing what I can do for her and how she doesn't have time to do her job in return. So, maybe I'm being a big sour grape here. But,I do think nannies can either expect to be treated like prfessional employees or they can seek to be taken care of as a member of the family. But double dipping in both of those worlds is not really on.

Athene there would be nothing wrong with the OP waiting to tell the nanny. She would be well within her legal rights to give the minimum amount of notice. However if it were me I would appreciate being told earlier and would probably try to hang on for as long as possible, filling up the other 2 days a week with nursery temping or similar and get a 5 day job in January. There are 2 questions really in the original post: when does the nanny have to be told and should she be told earlier? Legally, nanny only needs to be told at the start of the notice period. To be nice/fair, especially given that nanny is looking for work to fit around this family to provide continuity of care and isn't just looking for a 5 day job which she could well do, a heads up would probably be appreciated. But it's not necessary.

Perhaps nannies do seem to go on about legal/contractual obligations but I think in the majority of those posts people are seeking advice or clarification - we're not taught employment law in college, no-one in HR gives us a leaflet and we don't have colleagues doing the same job to ask whether the treatment we receive is reasonable or not so some nannies turn to MN. Others go over to NJ but sadly we lack an employers perspective over there which can be very valuable.

OP - Have you considered what might happen to your relationship with your nanny if she finds out some other way that you're moving?

There are ways to keep the nanny on until after you've moved, especially if she wouldn't mind doing a couple of weeks of living in 2/3 nights a week (and you have the space) or you could cover additional travel costs.

Hmmm, thing is though that the parents are usually homeowners and have better long term earning potential, so are in a better financial position overall.

I don't actually use a nanny, but when dealing with DD's CM I treat her a little differently to how I would expect my employer to treat me. (I know I am not her employer, but bear with me...) To me there is an element of trust there, a bit like a family relationship in a strange sort of way, which is why I think a nanny would be upset if she found out that a family had been planning to move and not told her.

Agree this is not cut and dried - contractually there is no obligation to tell, but like Summersoon I feel there is a moral obligation.

But, I thought nannies wanted to be treated like professional employees? I thought the way to treat my nanny could generally be rated by how I would expect my employer to treat me.

Every time a nanny on here feels a bit hard done by she/he starts quoting legal and contractual obligations of employers. Do you think this should only be the case when it is to nanny's benefit? That sounds like a double standard to me.

"...but I think that the subtle difference is that it is always assumed that the employer has more economic power and more options than the employee. "

If this assumption was true I could see your point. But, I think it is actually quite common for parents to scrape the barrel to pay the nanny resulting in the nanny have more disposable income than the parents.

I agree with Summersoon - again!

That reminds me. One family I had been with for years didn't tell me until they really had too that the mum had resigned to be at home and it hurt me to think they thought I would leave straight away rather than stay until they didn't need me.

@ Athene: I see your point but I think that the subtle difference is that it is always assumed that the employer has more economic power and more options than the employee. What I mean by that is that the nanny/employee giving notice may cause considerable upheaval and extra effort in replacing her but the employer giving notice means loss of livelihood for the nanny/employee. Granted the economics may be much more even in the case of a nanny employed by a family who can only just afford to do so than with a large company and its employees, but there is still a difference.
If this were a company, I would say never, ever even mention as an employee that you are considering quitting until you are ready to do so but if the company is relocating it has a moral obligation, in my view, to tell employees about its plan asap. That moral obligation is much less strong in the case of a family and a nanny because the family has fewer financial resources. But it is still there, in my view, hence my advice to HolidaysQueen about what would be the nice and/or fair thing to do.

I had been with one family for 4 years and was told casually they were moving right out of the area.

I nearly fainted. I knew they wanted to move but didn't expect it to happen within a week. I thought they meant months if not a year or more.

I got 3 months notice as per my contract and decided to leave my share too. I can't remember how long it took but if I didn't work the full time I got paid.