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Original poster

I'm not sure I want to be a CMer anymore...

31 replies

GwarchodwrPlant · 29/07/2009 18:58

It just gets me down sometimes. I have to keep reminding myself that I'm doing it for my DS and my future DC because it's the only way I can afford to be a SAHM.

I couldn't even think about leaving my DS to go out to work so I probably just have to suck it up don't I?

Are their any other jobs I could do that allow me to be with my son that don't involve the sheer graft and pitiful pay that is minding other people's kids?

Someday's it's great, other days it's mind-numbingly boring and most days it's bloody hard work!

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AvadaKedavra · 30/07/2009 17:41

I'm in my 3rd year now GP and I became a CM because I couldn't find a job in a school/nursery which I had done before and wanted to work with children in some way and CMing hadn't ever occurred to me until I overheard someone else mentioning it and it was a light bulb moment my own children were teenagers when I started

allthatglisters · 30/07/2009 15:52

Sorry, it wasn't the actual name of the website - I just meant google the general subject, there's lots of info out there.

Original poster
GwarchodwrPlant · 30/07/2009 09:54

Thankyou so much for your replies:

navyeyelash- I havn't really thought about becoming a nanny but the more I think about it the more I'm warming to the idea. I think I will do some research into it and see if there is a need for nannies in my local area.

thesilverlining- I know what you're talking about, I'm trying to avoid letting my DP know aboutmy true feelings as he is the main earner and we're not exactly flush at the moment (who is?)the last thing he wants to hear is me getting cold feet about my job! So maybe I do just need to give it a chance? I agree with you about being choosy and I made a rule this time to just take on pre-schoolers as I hated doing the schoolrun/after school care pre-maternity leave. I much prefer looking after littleuns.

atworknotworking-You are so right, I really need to find other interests and try new things but I'm just at a loss where to start TBH! You should be a life coach!

allthatglitters- I'm going to have a look at that website now, thankyou all!

OP posts:
allthatglisters · 30/07/2009 09:23

Hi, Really sympathise with your situation. One option could be to carry on as a childminder but limit it to certain days or hours, or age, e.g. do school age children only. It would be less money but you'd still have some income. You could be creative about cutting down on your expenditure and having a different kind of lifestyle - there are many tips available online from USA SAHMs, some of it is quite entertaining! Explore hobbies and interests - it's not all about money and career.

atworknotworking · 29/07/2009 22:05

You sound a bit like me re:s/emp I get job offers now and again but just couldn't face working for someone else again I like being a slave to ofsted myself.

It sounds like in principle you like what you do ie: s/emp, being with your DC, working with children, your'e just not liking how its happening IYSWIM.

Have you got a mindee that's difficult or a situation with working that is giving you problems? This can make you feel this way, had a similar prob which when i dealt with it made me feel totally different and reinvigorated what I do and how i do it, don't get the belly flops anymore LOL.

Have you thought about setting yourself a goal or challenge each day, s/emp people thrive on making things happen and your reward is seeing it through and the end result being a success, it doesn't have to be anything big, you could even change your daily routine around just for a change it might break up the monotony your feeling atm, try a new playgroup or take the mindees somewhere new.

You could do an evening course or distance learning to work towards something that can give you a career change (still s/emp of course) when your dc are at school it might give you something to work towards and you can have fun planning your future.

thesilverlining · 29/07/2009 21:29

GP - I felt like this when I came back off Mat Leave - it caused major traumas between me and my husband and tbh it turned out I just needed to hang in there and ride it out til about 2 months ago when I started really enjoying it again.

The important thing is to not take on too much and be very picky about who you take on - and I mean that in a nice way - ie do the parents have same philosophy on life as you, is the child a suitable age and stage of Dev for the other children you have? DO you get out the house enough? That kind of thing....at the moment I am not taking on anyone who needs a playschool pick up as I have very young children also in the mix and I can't be doing with dragging a couple of 1 yr olds out 3 times in a day and I don't feel its fair on them (or me and my back!) so sadly I am not taking on any 2.5-4 yr olds. But thats not to say I won't when the 1 yr olds have got to that stage. Its taken me 6 years to finally twig the right way to run my business for me! So tbh it sounds more like you need to tweak the WAY you work not WHAT you do if that makes sense.....

HTH

navyeyelasH · 29/07/2009 21:07

But should still make more than a CM - esp if do sleep training, wedding events etc.

Ripeberry · 29/07/2009 21:02

That sounds like a good idea, but would have to reduce fees as the OP will need to have her DD with her.

navyeyelasH · 29/07/2009 20:52

Ok I think I have got it! What about being an ad-hoc self employed nanny?!

Ripeberry · 29/07/2009 20:25

Wow! Not many CMs offer weekends. The parents must love you

Original poster
GwarchodwrPlant · 29/07/2009 20:23

Well I'm available 7 days a week from 7am until 7pm and I am working approx 50% of the time I am available. I havn't calculated how many hours I work but I'm getting days off, which I love and they are scattered about so I'm not overworked by any means. I've just come back off maternity leave beginning of June so maybe I just need to find my feet again.

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Ripeberry · 29/07/2009 20:19

Are you working long hours? More than 50 a week. Maybe you just need to have a 'break'?

Original poster
GwarchodwrPlant · 29/07/2009 20:11

I'll have to think of something. I'll give myself till the end of the year and if these feelings havn't settled down then I'll have to admit defeat and look for something else.

AK- can I ask how long you've been doing it and why?

OP posts:
AvadaKedavra · 29/07/2009 20:04

Why not give yourself a set amount of time, say I don't know till the end of the year and log your mood and if as above, bad outweighs good, admit it's time to either be a ft sahm or go out to work?

frasersmummy · 29/07/2009 19:58

I think no matter what you do for a living there are days when you will feel like work is just a complete pain and you cant do it anymore.

I think when the days you feel like this outnumber the days you enjoy its time to move on.. before people start to comment that you are not as good/as committed as you used to be

sorry that doesnt answer your original question does it??

Original poster
GwarchodwrPlant · 29/07/2009 19:56

Crosses into that 'employed' territory again!

Thankyou for your time though, I appreciate your suggestions and I know I am difficult!

OP posts:
navyeyelasH · 29/07/2009 19:53

What about nannying?

Original poster
GwarchodwrPlant · 29/07/2009 19:52

Yes, I have AK but the thought of working with people brings me out in a cold sweat!

OP posts:
AvadaKedavra · 29/07/2009 19:50

Have you thought about working in a school/nursery pt? And looked into childcare element for childcare for your own DC? Best of both worlds maybe? Time working for you (with children) but without it taking over your home, and part time so you get time with your dc?

Original poster
GwarchodwrPlant · 29/07/2009 19:48

My DP has a regular set income and I really need a regular set income. I wish it were just for pin money as you put it!

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Original poster
GwarchodwrPlant · 29/07/2009 19:46

North Wales. We're not governed by OFSTED up, thank God. EYFS hasn't yet reached us but it soon will be.

OP posts:
AvadaKedavra · 29/07/2009 19:45

Do you need to have a regular set income GP to add to the household running or is it more for pin money (sorry I detest that way of wording it but couldn't think of anything else!!)

Original poster
GwarchodwrPlant · 29/07/2009 19:45

shoshe- I have to disagree with you there, the CMers I know do it to be at home with their young families or are doing it because they have retired. Another one I know is doing it because she prefers to be self-employed and another one is doing it because she started caring for her GC so its just an extension of that.

I started because of these reasons:

I want to be able to stay at home with my DC

I like being around children

I like being self-employed.

Sammy- I think it's just my work situation. Generally. I wish I could find something that really gets my heart racing and something I look forwards to every morning- not something that makes my stomach flip on a sunday night.

OP posts:
2Shoots · 29/07/2009 19:44

where abouts are you based? I take it you're in Wales, North or South?

SammyK · 29/07/2009 19:38

If you are seriously unhappy then I would look into other options. What are your DH's working hours/pattern. For example if he works days M-F you could work evenings, nights, weekends. Not ideal but no childcare costs.

Have you looked into childcare element of tax credits? Worth checking.

You do sound very down, have you been feeling down for very long? Is it just your work situation?

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