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Original poster

have you ever been left by a nanny?

39 replies

margobambino · 28/07/2009 22:33

I am feeling a bit weird. We hired part time nanny first time and after a couple of days she phoned me in the evening to tell me that she cannot work in our home environment implying that we are being overprotecting with safety gates, corner covers etc. She basically implied that my home environment is pathological. At the moment I am feeling a bit sad and self conscious.
Anybody had similar experience? Or can you tell me something to make me feel better

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nannynick · 28/07/2009 23:11

Suggesting a nursery was better is very odd in my view... maybe the nanny had never worked in a nursery!

nannynick · 28/07/2009 23:10

You covered most of the sharp edges with foam - throughout the house? If so that could be a lot of foam... sharp edges are everywhere.

However when your now ex-nanny visited your home to meet you and your DS (so may have visited several times) they would have seen all of the foam.

Toddlers do bump themselves a lot. Stairgate on bedroom is fine, on stairs, on access to any room you don't want them in.

If the whole house is coated in foam then that is a bit much, but I doubt it's the whole house... is it? Even if it is, it's up to you... it's your home, your child.

limonchik · 28/07/2009 23:06

None of that sounds unreasonable or pathological to me - I don't know why she would suggest a nursery is better. I think it sounds like an excuse rather than the genuine reason.

Original poster
margobambino · 28/07/2009 23:03

Also, nanny was experienced but was doing mainly part time temporary jobs lately.

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Original poster
margobambino · 28/07/2009 22:59

Hi limonchick, My DS is 2 years old. We still have the stair gates. We have another gate in his bedroom door as he managed to climb out of the cot at 18 months and has been sleeping in an open cot. As he had a bad accident in February this year (bumped his head to wall edge) we covered most of the sharp edges with foam. Nothing else actually.

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in2minds · 28/07/2009 22:56

No you are not, goodness if you take your child to A&E twice in a week you get the health visitor come to your house to check that it has been baby proofed as you describe.
It will be her not you, honestly.

limonchik · 28/07/2009 22:56

This sounds really weird. How old is your ds? Was the nanny experienced?

Original poster
margobambino · 28/07/2009 22:54

Actually I agree that it is best she tells us early but this was the first nanny experience and I've found it a bit traumatic to hear that she thought it is not good for him and advised us a nursery.

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limonchik · 28/07/2009 22:51

Well, how protective are you? How old is ds?

Maybe she got offered another job or had some personal issue and this was just a handy excuse for her?

Original poster
margobambino · 28/07/2009 22:48

She knew everything at the beginning and she actually said there was nothing wrong with protecting your child.
Then today she said the home environment is not good for my DS either. She came for only 6 hours in total and did not want any money from us either.
My self esteem was already fluctuating and all these criticism hasn't helped. Am I an overanxious, toxic mother?

OP posts:
limonchik · 28/07/2009 22:46

Everyone does things differently - best she tells you early on that she's not comfortable. The way you do things isn't "wrong" though!

When you're next interviewing make sure you look for someone who takes a similar approach to safety.

nannynick · 28/07/2009 22:45

I've left a nanny job after having been there for 3 years, but certainly not after just a couple of days.
Probationary periods in contracts are there to enable this sort of thing to happen - either side can terminate the agreement fairly quickly if they feel things are not working out. It must however be a right pain for the employer, as they then have to recruit all over again (or hope that their second choice is still available).

She can't work in your home due to you being overprotective? Bit strange in my view... surely she didn't mind opening and closing a few stairgates.

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 28/07/2009 22:36

yes, mine quit after a week. She had 2 of her own children (which I didn't mind, it gave ds someone to play with) and she couldn't cope with three of them. I was slightly pissed! There's not alot you can do though.
You are entitled to protect your child, would she rather they had frequent hospital visits?

in2minds · 28/07/2009 22:35

My first lovely nanny got poached at the school gates for an extra pound an hour and a newborn baby.
We got over it, at the end of the day your way is the right way end of story.

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