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Original poster

Really offended by this!!

88 replies

aGalChangedHerName · 12/06/2009 08:11

Do i need to get over myself about this??

Had a call from a potential new parent. Perfect age (3 years) perfect hours and mum seemed lovely on the phone. Chatted briefly about my current minded children and a bit about my family etc. Seemed really keen so all good.

Arranged to meet with parents, had a text on the morning of the visit from mum saying that she wasn't coming as her dp didn't want to have his dd cared for by me as i had young boys in my home. I couldn't understand it and texted her to ask did she mean my ds's??? Yep she said. I mean WTF???

She hadn't even met my dc or myself or DH. My ds's are actually pretty fab and my current parents love my dc. Ds1 is 17.7 and had a Disclosure and ds2 is at school and is 13.6.

I was pretty offended and can't believe that a parent would make a decision like that without even meeting someone. I could understand it if they met us and didn't click iykwim? But jeez what a loon!!

OP posts:
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screamingabdab · 12/06/2009 18:05

Don't normally come on this thread, but this popped out at me.

My childminder had 2 teenage sons and I thought it was a real bonus to having DS2 cared for by her. They were lovely boys. It was a real family atmosphere.

TripleTroubleMuffin · 12/06/2009 18:04

I do think so.

I think saying they have found someone else would be more like you are not good enough.

Kewcumber · 12/06/2009 18:03

womble - if they'd actually turned up to meet him they could have based their opinion on something other then pure prejudice.

When my DS started with our CM her then 18 son was at home along with her 17 yr DD, and two younger DS's. Often in the summer I would come home to hear my DS squealing with delight in her garden playing football with all her boys.

Am so pleased I chose a large lively happy household for him.

Original poster
aGalChangedHerName · 12/06/2009 18:01

TTM do you really think so? All parents have to say is they have found someone else surely??

Tamarto can't speak for everyone but my teen is nothing like Womble said lol. He is working/driving/saving for starting college and fairly well house trained!!

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Tamarto · 12/06/2009 17:59

Am i the only one who wants to know what the 'ALOT of looking after' comment means?

As far as i was concerned once they hit their teens (at least) they stop drawing on walls(the ones in my house anyway), flooding the toilets with whole rolls of toilret paper etc. If that isn't true i want a refund.

TripleTroubleMuffin · 12/06/2009 17:55

Some of these daft reasons might not be daft reasons but made up excuses...

wombleprincess · 12/06/2009 17:54

yes its a generalisation, but thats the point. your potential customer doesnt know your son from adam, but surely you cant be angry for her not wanting to chance it when comes to her child?

I am sure your son is totally charming.

Original poster
aGalChangedHerName · 12/06/2009 17:51

IE the same as myself and DH have n other words.

OP posts:
Original poster
aGalChangedHerName · 12/06/2009 17:50

A full disclosure as ordered by The Care Commission Hercules1.

OP posts:
hercules1 · 12/06/2009 17:16

IT depends on what the disclosure was.

nbee84 · 12/06/2009 17:09

I don't even cook tea for my 15 year old - he cooks it for us

Original poster
aGalChangedHerName · 12/06/2009 15:00

Oh and my ds doesn't need any looking after either. Other than i cook his tea along with the rest of the families and do his washing. Bollocks!!

OP posts:
Original poster
aGalChangedHerName · 12/06/2009 14:59

OMFG Womble???

My 17 year ols isn't anything like that. What a stupid generalisation FFS

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wombleprincess · 12/06/2009 14:59

its not drivel, i am just offering an alternative view point.

underpaidandoverworked · 12/06/2009 14:50

Womble, what a load of drivel........

wombleprincess · 12/06/2009 14:38

no, because 17 years olds still need ALOT of looking after and can be very stroppy/aggressive/loud/noisy/messy/dirty. I would also be concerned with them bringing lots of other 17 year old boys home which you cannot control.

SusieDerkins · 12/06/2009 14:34

Why? Because all 17 year old boys are paedophiles?

FFS.

wombleprincess · 12/06/2009 14:31

okay so flame me but i would have been a bit uncomfortable with a 17.7 year old boy being in the house.

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 12/06/2009 14:25

What a loon! Hope she finds someone to mind her dd that meets her (and her dh's) list of requirements!

Blondeshavemorefun · 12/06/2009 14:16

so tech a cleaner or gardener may need to be crbed then>

if you were a cm and rich lucky enough to have both

Blu · 12/06/2009 14:07

I have never come across a muslim family who would react like that over teenage boys in the house while a child of 3 was childminded. And plenty who would be quite happy.

Some people clearly over-react re perceived risk. Don't be offended - it isn't YOU, it's his issues.

Original poster
aGalChangedHerName · 12/06/2009 14:01

I had a cleaner but she didn't have to have a Disclosure according to my CCO.

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tommypickles · 12/06/2009 13:59

Also I think it's any over 16 that is going to be around them for more than 2 hours a week ( I think it's 2 hours), so if you for example had a cleaner regularly while you are working or your parents/family member visits every week for a while. They don't have to live with you.

dmo · 12/06/2009 11:37

yes everyone who is a resident in a cm home and is over age of 16 needs a crb check

Blondeshavemorefun · 12/06/2009 10:59

how strange

i could understand if she/they had met your family

i wouldnt worry about it, their loss not yours

do all cms if have children/other adults in house older than 16 have to have a crb?

so dh/dp etc?

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