Really offended by this!!

Message withdrawn

thebody - abusers can and do abuse with responsible adults in the next room. I can only imagine it added to the thrill...if you understand what I'm saying and how I know. If someone wants to abuse they will find a way.

thebody, i think maybe the supposed/should angle put the mother/father of?

i mean lets face it it doesnt matter how many rules and regulations you put in place, you cant prevent awful things happening to children as in pollyglot's case, so maybe she is just trying to protect her little one in the only way she knows how, by not placing her in situations she doesnt feel 100% happy with. Dont agree with the mother but i do understand her pov.

When my DS was 17 he was babysitting my minded children ( all girls) he used to frequently have sole charge of a 2, 4, 7 band 9 year old and he was asked to pick them up from school in HIS CAR, by the parents.

so sorry to hear that Polly but a cm isnt allowed to leave her charges unattended with anyone anyway, not even another parent at pick up, you are always supposed to be with them so noone could or should have the oppertunity to abuse anyway.

so i finaly ventured back to Mumsnet talk, posted on a couple threads , wondered why i hadn't been here for ages then started reading this thread . . . . oh yeah Trolls and rows.
backs away from Mumsnet talk again .

Sorry, I am on her side, though I am sure that she doesn't mean it to be an insult to you personally. A huge percentage of sex offenders are actually under 18. I was abused by a neighbour's 16 year old son when I was 7, so I have always run shy of teenage boys around my young girls. I know that is a very personal response, but valid nonetheless.

Wow, isn't it amazing how your words get jumped on here

Yes, by comings and goings I mean the normal circulation of friends that teenagers have. If I was going to vet a CM, it wouldn't be appropriate to vet every friend of the family, but that is exactly what I would want to do if I was leaving a young child in a household where there were many young adults present - and it also wouldn't be at all appropriate for me to stipulate that the teeangers should not have their friends over while my child was in their house! For that reason alone, I decided to use a nursery, and I suspect that's why the parents in the original post did not want to go ahead with this OP as childminder. Nothing wrong with that - their needs and the childminder's family were incompatible. No-one's right or wrong here....

If in your house it isn't a problem then it's fine, but in some houses it's something that should be discussed with the teens themselves. For me it wasn't really a problem as I was either out or in, but my little sister has always been in and out and has friends coming and going constantly, for example. That's what I assume they mean by the 'coming and going'. If your teens are more like my sister int hat they have different friends around and in and out of the house then as long as they're all sensible (which I'm sure that they are) it's something that doesn't matter, that's the way I see it.

And I'm quite disturbed by that thread, I'm 20 and wouldn't dream of looking at an under-18, but then I just prefer guys my own age I s'pose lol

I don't use a CM but would absolutely have no problem using one with older boys, my DC's have first cousins mainly boys ranging from 7 to 26, they are the youngest at 3 and 1. We also socialise with friends who have a wide ranging age group of children and it works out really well.

I googled 'mumsnet 17 lust' and it was the first link on there

My Mum was a CM and my older sister was 15/16 when Mum quit, but we still are friends with the mindees and their parents They liked the fact that their children grew up with three 'sisters' as it made them more well rounded... and they could use my sister as the perfect bad example for school haha She was notorious for getting in trouble, but as she was the Headmasters 'teachers pet' she got away with everything hehe

On one hand I understand not liking the idea of teens being about due to the 'comings and goings' of other teenagers in the house, however, as long as the CM makes it clear that her teenager's friends are to behave responsibly and ensures that then I see no problem. My Nan's a foster carer and also has my 17/18yo cousin living there. He left school at 14 (still had lessons elsewhere one day a week) and though he was a horrible kid then, he's always been great with the kids and around them, and that's what matters. And now he's just as bad and always has mates around but more often than not he's regulating them himself to ensure they are safe to be around the kids!

oh and actually to just add to that, the 18 year old recently went on an end of school pub crawl dressed as a cow..the mindees loved it and still talk about it.

I think when parents choose a cm they realise the children will be in a family atmosphere and like that.

Also all sensible cms have the talk with their own children about acting appropriatly around the mindees.. Last week my 19 year old stubbed his toe and after a beat shouted 'OH THAT REALLY HURT' obviously the response would have been different without little faces looking at him..

I am friends with a childminder who has a teenage son and a teenage daughter (both are college age) and I'm not aware that she has had any issues with parents not wanting to use her service due to her older children being around occasionally.

Not sure what the reasons are why people don't like teenagers being around... 'the comings and goings' - what does that mean?
If a CM has teenagers, then they are unlikely to permit their teenage children to have wild parties during childminding hours!

I am a cm ands have 3 men at home my dh and 2 dss, 19 and 18.

The mindees love them and of course they are all C.R.B. checked.

I would be very very offended if someone wouldnt choose to use me because of them but hey its her choice... her loss..of course their mates visit but they go upstairs, where the mindees arent allowed so thats not an issue anyway.. chalk to experience and take no notice..

I'm afraid I think I would have problems with it too - sorry. I know it's based on nothing, but if I'd used a childminder when DD was little I don't think I'd have wanted to leave her with a family with teenage boys, with the comings and goings of a normal teenage household - and I've got a son who is 12.

Perhaps she thought it might be easier to be up front with you, rather than meet you all, and then have to come up with an excuse? It's not as if she's been rude, she's just said no thanks. No big deal IMO.

And I hope that I never have them, with a mother like you

oh go on keep feeding. just really hope none of you halfwits ever look after my children.

Oh, and link to this thread aGal? Not that I disbelieve you, but I'm hoping that's a fib about the lusting after a 17yo