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Original poster

Overnight Guests

34 replies

ConstantlyCooking · 22/05/2009 08:38

We are about to employ our first au pair and I have been using Au Pair World. One question that has cropped up a few times is can the au pair have overnight guests.
My instinct is to say yes but no guests for the first 4-6 weeks so we can all get to know each other and then only one at a time and I want to know about guests in advance.
DH thinks the in advance bit is unreasonable but I don't want to bump into strangers in my house in the middle of the night! However I thought I would ask you all what would be reasonable.

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Julesnobrain · 22/05/2009 17:52

We don't allow overnight guests and any other guests (female only) we ask them to request permission and they have to leave by 12.00pm. A couple have had their girlfriends over and its always been OK but I wouldn't be happy with a boyfriend staying over or even coming into the house during at any time.

overweightnoverdrawn · 22/05/2009 16:00

My friends Aupair was a lesbian so the no boys thing didnt bother her . Seriously true.

DadInsteadofMum · 22/05/2009 13:07

Rule for our au pairs is not in first two months, advance notice and no boys. Not sure why the advance notice bit could be considered unreasonable.

Original poster
ConstantlyCooking · 22/05/2009 12:53

Thanks for your replies- I feel more confident about challenging DH now. I might say only after 2 months and then advance notice and only if convenient- this would pre-empt any sudden overnight boyfriends! Hmmmm getting complicated now.

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 22/05/2009 12:07

agree with little paws,say no,you can always change your mind

much harder saying yes in the 1st place,and having lots of guests then trying to ask/tell ap that she cant have any

maybe after a month you can say yes to female guests but that they need to ask for male (this is obv when your ap isnt gay)

thebody · 22/05/2009 11:30

have never employed an au pair but imo little paws is spot on. totally agree with her post.

LittlePaws · 22/05/2009 09:19

I think I would be inclined to say no to start with, and then once you know them better and are confident that they will not just be out looking for a new man every-night then maybe, I actually wouldn't be happy for them to bring a man back at all. I think I would also insist that I have advance notice of friends visiting.

LittlePaws · 22/05/2009 09:19

I think I would be inclined to say no to start with, and then once you know them better and are confident that they will not just be out looking for a new man every-night then maybe, I actually wouldn't be happy for them to bring a man back at all. I think I would also insist that I have advance notice of friends visiting.

HSMM · 22/05/2009 09:02

I would say "No". When you get to know her better, you can always change your mind. They could have a different partner back every night, or still be heard chatting to a friend until the early hours of the morning. I would wait until you get to know them before you allow this. Up to you.