Is it unreasonable....

shes a sahm and wont let you choose that week off?

why on earth not?

most parents would love to be able to spend that time with their children playing

I could understand it if she had to work, as many employers have to do, but as she doesnt work she is being totally unreasonable imho

i have it written in my contract that I have the week between christmas and Ny off and paid

its over 7mths away - so as FBG says,ask her, get it put in writing and if she doesnt agree that if it means that much to you,then find a new job

Have you worked those dates for her before?

I think you should request them now, in writing, make sure you have an answer within a week, and then if she says no you will have to rethink your position.

I was a nanny and are now a mum and don't think it is unreasonable at all.

One Christmas I worked, went away with the family to Courcheval, as I had no family to visit but would have rather stayed behind to see my boyfriend. Too chicken to say outright though and it was a fairly nice holiday in a very nice place.

Put the request in now, then the parent(s) can sort out cover (eg ask relatives to visit) if they have to work that week.
Certainly not an unreasonable request. In fact I would say that most employers of nannies give that week off anyway, as one or other of the parents would usually take that week off.
Personally I don't mind working that week, especially as my 'family Christmas' now seems to have been moved forward a couple of weeks (due to family all being spread out around the UK, we are planning a Center Parcs meetup just before Christmas).

If she's that unreasonable ie doesn't need you there for work commitments of her own, i'd be looking for a new job tbh.

It doesn't sound like an unreasonable request. What are her reasons for refusing?

Hmm. If it's not in your contract that you can't take that period off, and if you are allowed to pick your two weeks then she should give it proper consideration.

Why does she want you to work? Does she have to be at work? If my nanny asked for that time off this far in advance, I'd do my very very best to accommodate it. If there's a period when I know I have to work, I tell my nanny as soon as I find out - if I knew I was going to have to work over the Christmas period I would tell her that she couldn't take holiday then, in advance of her asking for it.

There are times when employers can't allow their employees to take holiday - there are times I can't go on holiday and I accept that. But if you're asking this far in advance and she hasn't told you beforehand it's not possible, then I don't think you are being unreasonable.

I'm not a nanny and never likely to have a nanny, but I think that's a totally acceptable request.