Is it unreasonable....

Wow! Not having to work or look after the children. The life of Riley you might say.
Far too boring! Drive you nuts!

The groom? When you first wrote that I thought: was that the mother's nickname for the husband or something?? He was allowed out to galavant over Christmas but had to be back by Boxing Day.

Tavvy have you taken over my last job?!

All my jobs have been for sahm's although 2 did work part time from home. In my first nanny job I used to work Christmas day and Boxing day! I didn't actually mind at the time as I've never been fussed about Christmas.

In my last job I really had to fight to get anymore than Christmas day and Boxing day off. The groom used to be ordered back for lunch time on Boxing day. We always worked Christmas eve. Mum boss just wanted the nanny around so if Dad boss decided he wanted to go out then they could. It didn't matter that Christmas is really for children! Half the time they never went anywhere so you were just 'there' incase, hanging around bored as the children obviously wanted their parents.

I have just started a new job where both parents work and mum boss has already said I can have the two weeks off over Christmas and new year as they will be home.

So anyway, Tavvy, you are not being unreasonable but if you did take over from me, I did warn you!!!!!

YANBU

ofcourse you are entitled to this time off. You have given them plenty of notice

just to add both of my bosses are Doctors and do sometimes work xmas day / boxing day etc... BUT even though they maybe working they would NEVER expect me to work then. (and i wouldnt)

tbh if she is that unreasonable id be looking for a new job.

(I get xmas - new year off paid in addition to my and their choice holiday by the way)

That's a good point - I was more or less unable to walk last Xmas because of SPD, and my AP totally coincidentally asked if she could stay with us over Xmas to see a typical English holiday. This ended up being very helpful all round.

true nbee

To be honest we don't know the resons in this case - maybe the mum in question has health issues. There are reasons why some SAHM might need a full-time nanny.

Maybe the SAHM concerned has shedloads of children? If you had six or more and no family locally, there would be quite a bit of work for a nanny potentially, especially if one had SN or something perhaps? But I imagine that's not the case here though.

tbh i have never understood sahm's who have a full time nanny

nothing wrong with having a nanny say 2 days a week if you dont work, to be able to do stuff/have me time etc but to have one 5 days

i would much prefer to pay a cleaner/ironer/gardener etc and be able to spend time with my children if i had the choice to not work

Traditionally nannies have been employed by sahm and not by working mums, which seems a more recent development ime. Although not so much at home as socialising, shopping, travelling, beautifying. I have worked for a few families like this and seems like a different world but is completely their way of life. They might think that the nanny knows more about raising/developing/educating children than they do. I think that if they want a nanny over the one time of year that is most obviously and reasonably important to you they could get a temp. Why not suggest a couple of agency phone numbers or suggest their PA arranges something for them. They might just not realise their options.

Why would a SAHM need a full-time nanny? Just curious.

Are they maybe going away for Christmas and expecting you to stay home with the children?

I have a nanny and always give her Christmas week off. I can't imagine not wanting this special time with my kids and my own family. However, I wouldn't employ a nanny if I was a SATM (I work full time) so I guess I can't really empathise but you did say you wanted to hear from other employers.

I think as others say you have to ask why.

has she given you a reason as to why you can't have the time off then?

My cm takes this week off - seems reasonable to me. We're in May, you're not asking for it the week before Xmas!

The fact that she has already said no to your request would have me looking for another job tbh. She sounds like a loon imo.

If a parent treated me like that i'd be looking for mindees to replace them.

I'd feel awful if my nanny had to work over Xmas, and can't imagine asking this, unless I was an A and E surgeon or similar, being obliged do an Xmas shift for the good of society. Even then I'd still try to work something else out. It's almost always possible.

It depends what the wording of the contract says. if it says just two weeks can be chosen by the nanny, then yes absolutely insist.

It may say two weeks can be chosen and will be agreed as far as possible, which might make it more difficult to actually insist, but something like 'as far as possible' or similr would mean that if there is a really good reason those dates can't be agreed, then fine. That wouldn't mean just saying no where there's no reason.

I can't think of any good reason where there is a parent at home tbh.

What does your contract say OP?

YANBU. There cannot be any good reason for not allowing you this time off. Even if she has loads of family coming, other people manage to cope with this and look after their own ruddy kids FFS! Or if the poor dear really cannot cope she has plenty of time to arrange a temporary replacement.

She sounds like a very selfish person IMO who gives no thought to your welfare at all.

I agree with the other posters that I would question very seriously whether you really want to carry on working for someone like this. What will it be next - refusing time off to attend your mothers funeral??

I also think that your contract gives you good grounds to insist on having this week off as she can have no reasonable grounds to refuse it. Is that right flowerybeanbag?

YANBU. If you are requesting this as part of your two weeks 'your choice' holiday, without any fantastic reason why not she ought to let you have it. If she is a SAHM there is no good reason not to let you imo.

I am a parent with a nanny. I will be getting my nanny to take Christmas off as part of the holiday we choose, as I know that will be convenient for me, which means it leave her to choose her two weeks whenever she likes.

As she's a SAHM (and not a doctor, nurse, firefighter or someone that has to work over Christmas)I would not back down on the time off over Christmas - it's not as if you're giving her 2 weeks notice! She has plenty of time to sort things out.

Personally, if my boss were that inflexible, I would be wondering what on earth I was doing working there and be looking for another job pronto.

I think you should stick to your guns here, she has loads of time to find some extra help if she needs it.

When I read OP I thought of NHS staff maybe butas this is not the case I do think she is being unrseasonable, and a little mean - it would be nice for you to see your own family wouldn't it!

What is the reason she feels she's not going to be able to cope? Does she have huge numbers of family descending on her? Does her partner have work commitments? I'm imagining a scenario where he's invited all of his siblings, his parents and cousins to come to theirs for the holidays. "No problem, wife and nanny will be just fine." While he's off doing whatever.

This is more out of curiosity than anything else. I still think you should press for the time off.

Do you know someone who could help her out over the holidays? I am presuming - perhaps erroneously - that cash isn't the first issue for them. Perhaps you could suggest someone who could be a spare pair of hands.

I missed the SAHM bit. Sounds very unreasonable in that case - it's not as though she is working in medical/emergency services where getting time off over Xmas may be tricky.