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Original poster

Gah! So cross at CM - not sure what do next.....

145 replies

OrangeKnickers · 05/05/2009 19:14

steam is coming out of my ears! (Sorry long).

So last year due to a 'miscommunication' our CM went away on holiday for a week, I found out about it the Friday before she went. It was a nightmare.

So this year she gives us a piece of paper with her holiday dates on. So we book our holiday around her dates, to make life easier.

I mention about our upcoming holiday - which starts next week assuming she's away as well. She says 'oh no, I am away on the xxth June'. I am like 'are you sure, I thought you were away when we were'. She says No she's away for two weeks starting the xxth.

So now not only have we bloody booked our holiday around her dates (would have booked it later in the year coz of the weather) BUT we also have to scrabble around to arrange childcare at short notice. We also pay her for four weeks holiday, and she needs to give us a month's notice of the holiday - which it works out that she has done now.

I am so cross! She's also recently put her prices up. And this has already happened to us once (she's been our CM for about a year).

What shall I do? She's good with our ds and is flexible and (usually!) reliable. I am sure it's an accident but it's so annoying. If was a purely commercial relationship I would part company from her following this but obviously ds is settled there.

Any thoughts would be gratefully received. Am I being unreasonable to be so cross?

OP posts:
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FabulousBakerGirl · 06/05/2009 19:44

"Is that what you do FBG?"

It is none of your business what I do, Mulanmum1, but since I am sure you will get all rude again I will tell you. I am a full time Mum who looks after my children myself with help from my PILs. So shoot me. FFS.

Crackopenthebaileys · 06/05/2009 19:10

"Any good CM should be able to introduce you to a stand-in childminder who would cover for her whilst she is on holidays"

Sorry but I find that a little strange tbh.
As SMM rightly says, lots of childminders wouldn;t be able to fit another LO into their plans. And there are plenty of childminders who don't socialise with other childminders!
They can still be a good childminder without being able to offer you alternatives!

TweetleBeetle · 06/05/2009 19:04

mulanmum yourpost has made me so cross. You don;t know the story around this, the OP has come on here looking for advice over the issue with the CM (who I think is out of order and I too would be hugely pissed off with her). Whats the point of your post?

BoysAreLikeDogs · 06/05/2009 18:58

Oh dear

Mulanmum1 · 06/05/2009 18:54

Is that what you do FBG?

TweetleBeetle · 06/05/2009 18:53

Whats it to do with you mulanmum?

FabulousBakerGirl · 06/05/2009 18:53

And?????

Mulanmum1 · 06/05/2009 18:52

Oh come on! Leaving your child with a CM all week and then leaving him with granny whilst you go off on holiday?

FabulousBakerGirl · 06/05/2009 18:37

"Who are you to tell anyone to back off?? "

Who I am, Mulanmum1, is another mother who feels this one doesn't need comments like that when she has asked for support. It is none of your business what she does with her child and holiday arrangements.

spicemonster · 06/05/2009 18:36

oops sorry, didn't see the last post by the OP. Apologies.

But really do you need to have a go? Competitive mothering is sooo tiresome

CarGirl · 06/05/2009 18:35

If the holiday you have booked as per her original dates is in May then she HASN'T given you a months notice about cancelling the May holiday therefore you do have a strong case for not paying her for the "new" dates.

spicemonster · 06/05/2009 18:33

I don't know what makes you think that Mulanmum - as someone else who pays their CM for holidays, I also arrange my holidays round hers. Otherwise I pay her for the times I'm away and the times she's away. Do you see? Not that complicated is it?

OP - I'd be very pissed off and take your CM that bit of paper. And not pay her for her holiday basically.

SillyMillysMummy · 06/05/2009 18:32

Ripeberry, how can an already busy cm take on someone else charges during their holiday? Surely they would be lucky to have the space?

MelonCauli · 06/05/2009 18:30

She might only leave him with her one day a week. Give her a break; this thread isn't about her parenting

TweetleBeetle · 06/05/2009 18:29

Agree FBG

Ripeberry · 06/05/2009 18:19

I'm a childminder and i'm only offering term-time only care just to get away from these type of problems!
Also if the CM has school aged children the only time that she can take HER holidays would be in the school holidays.
Any good CM should be able to introduce you to a stand-in childminder who would cover for her whilst she is on holidays.

Mulanmum1 · 06/05/2009 18:16

Who are you to tell anyone to back off??

FabulousBakerGirl · 06/05/2009 18:14

Mulanmum1 - back off.

Mulanmum1 · 06/05/2009 18:09

OP - you leave your DS with a CM all year round and then go on holiday WITHOUT him? Have I got that right???

Original poster
OrangeKnickers · 06/05/2009 16:02

thank you for all the replies.

Yes, the crux of the matter is that she did tell us her holiday dates (in writing) but then has changed them without letting us know (until it came up in conversation). With about a month's notice.

So I have booked a holiday when I wouldn't normally to fit in with her dates. Plus now have two weeks of no childcare as I have used up all my 'granny points' on this holiday (going without ds!!).

I will need to pay for childcare to cover, so am I reasonable to say that it's her fault about the mix up so therefore I am not going to pay her for her holiday allowance for these two weeks as I will give her money to someone else. (Would happily pay normally).

Plus this is the second time in a year this has happened. Once is understandable but twice??

OP posts:
HSMM · 06/05/2009 15:02

But ... if I read it right, she is not asking for an extra 2 weeks, but a different 2 weeks. Anyway, it all depends on the contract and without seeing that I cannot judge whether the CM should be paid (and nor can anyone else). I do however agree that it is at the very least rude to give definite holiday dates and then change them at the last possible minute when parents have worked their own holidays out around them. I would not do this.

ChippingIn · 06/05/2009 14:52

HSMM - I see what you are saying, but I am sure that would be for a limited number of weeks per year and as the CM has already told OrangeKnickers different dates (in writing) then she has probably already 'used up' her holiday 'allowance' (regardless of charging or not). It would be an odd contract for a CM to be able to have as much leave as they like as long as they give the parents a months notice. (I am sure some can and do, but not many).

hellywobs · 06/05/2009 12:17

My CM charges for my holidays but not hers (4 weeks this year, 3 weeks last year). She charges for the two May bank holidays (if she normally has your child on Mondays) but not the others.

I suspect that ultimately it comes down to supply and demand. If you desperately need a CM, they have the upper hand. If they need mindees, the parents have the upper hand as long as all the childminders in the area haven't got together and made their terms the same (which is illegal but would be hard to prove, especially as they all tend to use the NCMA template).

leo69 · 06/05/2009 09:42

I can't see any perks in being self employed. I would love to be employed and let someone else have all the hassle of paying my tax and ins.I have to beg to be paid for Bank Holidays, and summer holidays. I also would love to be paid on a certain date like everyone else. Because I don't have a 'proper' accountant ( I don't earn enough)I can't be included when applying for the mortgage. Maybe someone can point out the perks!
Sorry! finished ranting ;)

HSMM · 06/05/2009 08:21

But ... don't forget ... if you have a contract saying she has to give you 1 months notice of holidays and she has given you 1 months notice, then .....