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Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Gah! So cross at CM - not sure what do next.....

145 replies

OrangeKnickers · 05/05/2009 19:14

steam is coming out of my ears! (Sorry long).

So last year due to a 'miscommunication' our CM went away on holiday for a week, I found out about it the Friday before she went. It was a nightmare.

So this year she gives us a piece of paper with her holiday dates on. So we book our holiday around her dates, to make life easier.

I mention about our upcoming holiday - which starts next week assuming she's away as well. She says 'oh no, I am away on the xxth June'. I am like 'are you sure, I thought you were away when we were'. She says No she's away for two weeks starting the xxth.

So now not only have we bloody booked our holiday around her dates (would have booked it later in the year coz of the weather) BUT we also have to scrabble around to arrange childcare at short notice. We also pay her for four weeks holiday, and she needs to give us a month's notice of the holiday - which it works out that she has done now.

I am so cross! She's also recently put her prices up. And this has already happened to us once (she's been our CM for about a year).

What shall I do? She's good with our ds and is flexible and (usually!) reliable. I am sure it's an accident but it's so annoying. If was a purely commercial relationship I would part company from her following this but obviously ds is settled there.

Any thoughts would be gratefully received. Am I being unreasonable to be so cross?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
FabulousBakerGirl · 06/05/2009 20:56

Thank you Pennies.

ladylush · 06/05/2009 20:55

you're right georgie

georgimama · 06/05/2009 20:52

ssd has form in this area, hang about on thread pertaining to working parents, snipe bitchily about "what's the point of having children blah blah blah".

Ignore.

FabulousBakerGirl · 06/05/2009 20:47

I don't think it is me that is deranged but hey ho, you just carry on.

Only here can a thread about childminders turn into bitching.

ladylush · 06/05/2009 20:46

SSD is not a troll - dunno about the other one.

Orangeknickers - I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. I think you are right to refuse to pay her holiday because she changed the plans without informing you.

ladylush · 06/05/2009 20:44

How bloody rude, intrusive and judgemental - SSD and Mulanmum

underpaidandoverworked · 06/05/2009 20:32

Think we have trolls on this thread.........

OrangeKnickers · 06/05/2009 20:32

dinner's ready....

thank you everyone else for the helpful comments. You are quite right that even if CM has given me a month's of new holiday she hasn't given me notice of cancelling the old holiday.

And thank you for also saying you'd be cross and that I could suggest not paying her. We are going to talk to her tomorrow. Also my little sister could look after ds so hopefully it will all be sorted out soon. I will keep you posted.

OP posts:
CarGirl · 06/05/2009 20:27

Back to your original problem. If your CM hasn't given you a month's notice of cancelling her holiday dates then as far as you're concerned they still stand and will count as one of her 4 weeks paid holidays. Does that make sense? If she has to give your four weeks notice to book a holiday then the same must stand for cancelling.

I wish I had Parents or PILs who would have mine for a week!

OrangeKnickers · 06/05/2009 20:26

also I haven't mentioned how many days I work.

This board is entitled 'Childminders, nannies, au pairs etc' so perhaps ssd and mulanmum could fuck off to a more appropriate section for them.

OP posts:
TweetleBeetle · 06/05/2009 20:26

SSD and Mulanmum are totaly out of order. It has absolutley nothing to do with either of you, you do not know the circumstances, the children are not being left home alone or with a stranger they are going to have a fab holiday with their granny.

Maybe you[re just jealous that the OP is going to have a break!

Oh and read the thread propery - its a week not two weeks

traceybath · 06/05/2009 20:26

SSD and Mulanmum - you are both being really offensive.

To OrangeKnickers - hope you sort out CM issues - is it possible she's just a bit scatty? Not that that excuses her at all - i totally understand why you're very cross.

Enjoy your child-free week away - i am very so guess that puts me in the bad mother camp too

ssd · 06/05/2009 20:26

blah blah blah

OrangeKnickers · 06/05/2009 20:24

to clarify, I AM going away without ds for a WEEK - he will be staying with grandparents.

Not sure how this is conflated to a) two weeks and b) ds is with the cm.

But why let the facts get in the way of a little burning?

OP posts:
ssd · 06/05/2009 20:21

agree totally with Mulanmum

think the op going on holiday without her son for 2 weeks when he spends the week at a childminders is crap

why have kids if you spend next to no time with them?

underpaidandoverworked · 06/05/2009 20:17

As a cm AND a mother - what's wrong with going away and having a break without your children . OP, 'most' posters on here offer constructive advice - don't be put off posting again . Hope you get sorted - and have a FAB holiday. Wish I could get away without DCs..........

QueentessentialShadow · 06/05/2009 20:11

So? She was planning on going on holiday leaving her child with grandma. Now she is still out of childcare while cm is on holiday. Leaving her child with grandma is not a crime, is it?

Pennies · 06/05/2009 20:11

There's no need for that Mulanmum - what has FBG ever done to you?

OrangeKnickers · 06/05/2009 20:10

to clarify, I AM going away without ds for a week - he will be staying with grandadparents.

That hasn't got anything to do with my original question and as I posted this on 'Childminders, nannies, au pairs etc' I am unlikely to to a same at home mother. It's a good wheeze though; hang out on this board and slag off working mothers. Nothing like a challenge.

OP posts:
Pennies · 06/05/2009 20:09

QS - I think that Mulanmum is right in her interprestation that the OP is going on hol without her DS as the DS is staying with the grandparents.

Regardless of that though she Mulanmum is horribly out of order in what she is suggesting with her rhetorical questions.

OrangeKnickers - I think you're right to be cross and I hope you manage to find an amicable solution. Enjoy your hols too.

Mulanmum1 · 06/05/2009 20:01

FBG - yes you!

Queenie - No I haven't got the wrong end of the stick. OP says "So I have booked a holiday when I wouldn't normally to fit in with her dates. Plus now have two weeks of no childcare as I have used up all my 'granny points' on this holiday (going without ds!!)".

QueentessentialShadow · 06/05/2009 19:57

Mulanmum, you get the wrong end of the stick:

OP does not want to leave child with cm and go on holiday, she was arranging to have her holiday (with her child) to coincide with chilminders holiday. Now chilminder has changed her holiday dates. This means that when childminder is on holiday, the OP does not have childcare. And when OP is on holiday, CM gets herself another break (as her mindee is on holiday)!

FabulousBakerGirl · 06/05/2009 19:53

Me?

BoysAreLikeDogs · 06/05/2009 19:52

Who is deranged, Mulanmum?

Please can you explain.

Thank you

Mulanmum1 · 06/05/2009 19:51

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