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Original poster

Starting off on the right foot (APs)

59 replies

Millarkie · 01/05/2009 09:07

I wish there was a AP host family forum so I could let rip about current AP but anyway......
Tips required for how to start off on the right foot with next AP..please.

I have handbook - with info on house, routines of all of us, local info etc.
I have 'duty list' - broken down into jobs which happen at a certain time (ie. child watching 4pm-5.30pm) and jobs that need to be done by the end of the week (dust living room shelves).
I pay generously and the jobs add up to fewer than 25 hours.

So, without writing down all the niggles which we have been through and making me look like an obsessive nightmare - how do I get through the first few weeks without being a pushover and ended up in the situation I'm in now???

Unfortunately I also have an overlap between current AP and new AP (which is good if current AP introduces new AP to some friends but not so good if she also hands over her bad habits), but I"m taking off a few days to show new AP around the area etc.

When I'm back at work should I schedule nightly chats with new AP and question her as to what she's done or not done? Should I create a tick-list for jobs?

If anyone wants a laugh I can list the things that current AP has done that is making me so paranoid about the next one

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PixiNanny · 30/06/2009 14:03

I know loads of people who should have taken their tests in Chelmsford but decided to go with Clacton instead because of that! I hear that Colchester isn't too easy to pass in though, and though it's still easy to pass in Clacton, thats getting worse because the test routes are becoming unkempt, signs are hard to see due to overgrown hedges and things. I failed in Clacton for either speeding or going to slow because the road switched in a 30, 40, 30 way (or the reverse: 40, 30, 40) and I just didn't see the second signpost!

Original poster
Millarkie · 30/06/2009 13:45

I failed 3 times (I think, was a long time ago) in Chelmsford so I switched to Colchester and passed - think the one-way system in Chelmsford had something to do with it!

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PixiNanny · 30/06/2009 12:59

Haha, I'm working on driving test I promise :P I'm booking another in Essex if I don't pass in Cheltenham this time round, I'll pass more easily there I think They are stupidly strict up here O_o

Original poster
Millarkie · 30/06/2009 12:39

Pixi - it's under MyMumsnet (you need to log in) and then under 'email options'. I thought it was free to receive but you have to pay to send CAT, but I may be wrong Found your email on another thread anyway - am working on dh so please pass your driving test next time!!!

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PixiNanny · 30/06/2009 08:59

CACC - It's okay, mine hasn't either yet

Millarkie - I don't accept CATs but I did get your email, as you know
How do you get CATs, I cannot find it on my profile info anywhere :/ Don't you have to pay for them though? I'd accept them if they were free

Original poster
Millarkie · 29/06/2009 21:30

Hey Pixi - I tried to CAT you but you don't accept them!

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CoffeeAndCarrotCake · 29/06/2009 11:31

Due to a technical error, my lottery win has not yet materialised, so I am back to the day job for the time being, and DD's grape-peeling has been postponed

Hope she opens up soon Millarkie. And yes, I think we might be a troll

Original poster
Millarkie · 28/06/2009 21:47

Yes, last AP almost doubled our food bill so will be nice if this one is a bit more economical. So far she seems really nice (but quiet) and she is really missing the household she was living in (she had 3 older kids and spent most of the time playing with them so it's a big change to be with us, 2 younger ones who have mainly had sports clubs/parties to go to this weekend).

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PixiNanny · 28/06/2009 19:12

Well, that just would worry me on it's own. I like my carbs too much to get rid of them Bet you're glad you don't have to pay so much for fruit anymore hm?

Original poster
Millarkie · 28/06/2009 18:47

Pixi - she ate - but exotic fruits, heaps of veg and occasional chicken breast..no carbs, no sweets, puds etc. She was thin

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PixiNanny · 28/06/2009 18:08

Lolol, only reminding :p tbh I've half given up on the idea of AP coupling now, it just isn't going to happen I don't think! Back to PGL or something I reckon grumbles Hopefully when I turn 21 I'll be able to get onto a cruise or something

I should hope she eats! The fact your last one didn't seem too worries me :/

Original poster
Millarkie · 28/06/2009 14:06

Pixi - I'm not going to forget - honest..just need to work out if this AP is a good'un and will last the distance (she's 'booked' for 9 months) or if I'll need to make a change sooner. She's still quiet but she eats! Including carbohydrates! Which is an improvement on the old one.

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PixiNanny · 28/06/2009 11:53

Oo, I hope she livens up soon Millarkie!

And I love being British just for the conversational side of things, it's awesome being able to go out into the street and talk to any old stranger for half an hour, only in Britain!

And Millarkie, remember that if you need a nice young couple early next year I'm about ;)

catepilarr · 27/06/2009 22:08

dont forget that the art of conversation is something that comes with beeing british ;)

Original poster
Millarkie · 27/06/2009 21:47

TF - She's been in the UK for a year and has completed an Advanced ESOL course so we are talking at 'normal' pace and not limiting vocabulary. She seems to understand what we are saying but is replying to questions with 'closed' answers..not keeping up conversation, asking the odd question but she has a quiet voice as well which compared to our last AP in particular is a big change for us. (Also ds is hearing impaired so I hope he will be able to hear her!)
She is really upset about leaving her last family (end of contract) and is a bit tearful so she might be louder when she's settled a bit.
Catepilarr - wish my APs were like you! (Maybe this one is )

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catepilarr · 27/06/2009 20:07

i always clean the room when leaving a family /strip the bed/make the bed, hoover, clean the bathroom, chuck all the rubbish out - simply leave it nice and tidy for anyone who comes in/. it would be very embarrasing to leave my mess for the family to clean up! if there is someone new arriving after me i usually leave them a letter too.

Totallyfloaty35 · 27/06/2009 19:41

currant apair can bring order to any room in 15min flat and she keeps her room pretty tidy unlike mad new zealander who had bags and bags of rotting rubbish everywhere,took ages to get rid of the smell when she left.I generally ask them to remove any rubbish and plates etc,strip their beds for me to wash and hoover the floor.But sometimes if they are so bad i dont bother i just try to hustle them out the house quickly
Millarkie how is her English? is she shy?We tend to be very loud talkative family so girls have no choice but to talk as kids ask them loads of questions and after a day or so of settling we do a movie night or go bowling to break the ice a bit.

Original poster
Millarkie · 27/06/2009 19:13

Good luck Jules - We have just had a meal with new AP and it was very relaxing not to have the children barked at every few minutes for their (normal for age) table manners. Although the quietness is a bit worrying in itself.

AP number 1 did get her room ready for number 2 without us asking her (she was very lovely in general although very stressed that last week.) We didn't ask AP number 2 but I didn't think her room was in that much of a state (was more worried about the wallpaper because she had stuck photos everywhere than anything else). but I was wrong.

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Julesnobrain · 27/06/2009 18:37

Hi there .. Wish me luck all it's change over day.. Old AP went today back to Mexico and New South African AP arrives tomorrow. Am madly amending houserules and trying to get her room nice and clean... just a thought....Do you ask your departing AP's to get their room ready for the next one or would that be a bit mean....??? Was worried when I read Mousemole experience .. I have the week from hell at work next week and boss not best pleased I am taking early am and late pm off for the next 3 days so really hope this one is not a flake!! Fingers crossed

blueshoes · 27/06/2009 16:25

I am with Jules' approach: "the more AP's I have the stricter I get." And if I spot things have not been done or are amiss, I mention them right away.

Millarkie, I could not bear to read your descriptions of your aupair's bizarre behaviour. After the first one, I was already thinking 'get rid' and then it got worse!! A bad egg will show itself quite quickly. I am totally appalled she did not take care of your house.

I am amazed you still have a sense of humour. Hats off to you

mousemole · 27/06/2009 15:51

good luck with your new one. I am having an Au Pair break as the last one we had lasted a week. She was Swedish and a complete mightmare. Didn't come home her second night - although she texted me at 2am to tell me that. Loads of strange and weird and wacky behaviour. Even though she was only with us for a week I was so so happy to see her go. I'd rather be knackered and run ragged than have a mad swede in my house.

HarrietTheSpy · 27/06/2009 15:41

CoffeeandCarrotCake
You'll have to share that lottery win with me, I'm afraid.

Original poster
Millarkie · 27/06/2009 15:30

I like your plan TF!

Our new one has arrived and so far she is very quiet! very very quiet! Early days though

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Totallyfloaty35 · 27/06/2009 15:27

Im having overlap as def want current aupair to train new one(decided i couldnt let down new girl) so if new girl is awful will have to give her notice an keep currant one.But im hoping for good things as she had good refs and when we chatted told me about a lazy greedy horror of aupair she was trying to train in one family as she was going home,said she couldnt let her loose on"her family" so stayed extra til another nice one was found.

Original poster
Millarkie · 27/06/2009 12:07

Coffeeandcarrotcake - Are you Me??

Dh discovered that there are wax droplets in the carpet by au pair's bed. At least it wasn't a new carpet.

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