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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Tough situation, need some advice

64 replies

mananny · 27/03/2009 14:01

Ok so I work p/t for a family that I love, that I have been with for over 3 years. I'm also at uni here, which is bloody expensive to say the least. I've heard about a fab job also here in the US, visa provided, great money, interesting specs, and the agency are putting me forward. I'm not job hunting really, just this particular opportunity would be really amazing. I asked my MB to provide a ref and now she's gone all weird and defensive and non-communicative with me. I have assured her that I am not thinking of upping and leaving, I am just testing the water. I might not even be considered for an interview with this other opportunity. I love the family, but now I am freaking out that even in asking for a ref some damage has been done. MB is very dependent on me and I am uncomfortable with her reaction to my asking for a ref. I'm such a peacemaker by nature I am tempted to can it all and stay here all cozy in my comfort zone. But this other opportunity is offering not just an amazing experience, but it would be a challenge and that's what I need now I feel like, as I have stayed in my comfort zone for too long.

Someone please kick me up the ass and tell me that I am not responsible for keeping my lovely but over-dependent boss happy!!!! It's hard enough to think about leaving my charges, but that's a part and parcel of any nanny job. I don't want the added emotional pressure of keeping the parents happy too!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ScottishThistle · 06/04/2009 21:57

This is what I meant by high maintenance.

Some people are willing to sell their soul with an idea of what they want at the end of it ~ I'm one of those, not for everyone though!

Enjoy where you are, at least you won't be saying "What if?"

Original poster

mananny · 03/04/2009 20:19

Nope no clues, sorry

The document I signed has lots of long words in it and none of them are pleasant sounding if I mention to any media (virtual or physical) anything that might reveal any details pertaining to the family in question, etc etc. I wouldn't want to risk it given my current status here I have to be a Very Good Girl.

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Supernanny19 · 03/04/2009 19:25

Can you give us clueeeeeeeees

Original poster

mananny · 03/04/2009 19:20

I can't say who they are, I had to sign a confidentiality agreement as I was made privy to personal details during the interview! But the more I think about it the crosser it makes me that they can effectively "buy" a person and control their every move pretty much. I thought slavery was outlawed centuries ago.

I told my MB all about it and she laughed and said she'll make sure she goes and has golf days all summer so I'll have more work LOL. And they've offered me their holiday home for a few Spring weekends away, too. So really I am perfectly content where I am. Every now and then I think everyone needs reminding just how green the grass is under their feet, rather than looking elsewhere

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thebody · 03/04/2009 18:48

If I had to employ a nanny you sound just the sort of person I woul;d choose, you are very caring and imo honest and straight forward. How dare they try to control your time off, there are some mental cases out there arnt there... good luck..

poshtottie · 03/04/2009 15:20

You sound like a lovely nanny and I'm not sure in that kind of position you would have been appreciated. At least you went for the interview and you won't be thinking "what if"

I know I wouldn't want a job that told me what I could and couldn't do in my time off.

Blondeshavemorefun · 03/04/2009 14:12

sorry it wasnt the job for you

can you say who they are now?

Summersoon · 03/04/2009 13:39

The mind boggles....

Thanks for giving an update!

Original poster

mananny · 03/04/2009 13:14

Well here's an update for anyone interested....

I interviewed with the PA and was given a detailed job description along with the family requirements (thousands of rules and regulations basically)... let's just say thanks but no thanks. There were incredible restrictions on everything, including my own personal freedom during my free time (including who I could associate with!!!). There were other things that I cannot divulge too. But basically it was not the job for me! It doesn't change the fact I like and respect what the parents do for a living. But I wouldn't want to nanny for them after all! Seriously, anyone who nannies for them has my utmost respect. You really do sell your soul to the devil for very little in return.

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ScottishThistle · 31/03/2009 23:37

Good luck if it's what you want to do!

I am currently awaiting two calls for very different positions I applied for last week. Had two very long interviews with PA's/many questions via e-mails etc.

The waiting is killing me!!!

SimpleAsABC · 31/03/2009 23:32

So when will you find out?

poshtottie · 31/03/2009 16:25

Good luck,

You will probably have very little to do with the parents anyway. Sometimes it is better to have a more professional footing than be too friendly with families. It is easier to hand in your notice.

Original poster

mananny · 31/03/2009 15:41

Thanks, thebody.

I'm pretty nervous still as I am being vetted. Never had a position that required anything more than the standard CRB and reference checks!

As for high profile = high maintenance I think many families, no matter what their status, are high maintenance in many different ways. I'm happy to do what it takes to ensure the family unit runs smoothly and that's why my current family can call on me even on my off time to discuss stuff or ask questions. So even though I only "work" one day a week now (I used to work 70+ hours a week for them not so long ago), my bosses know they can rely on me to help any time and I boost my MB somewhat fragile self esteem and self confidence by being available to her. Some people might say more fool me, but really, I see it as being part of my job. I am employed by them to help their family and that's what I do. I would do this for any family I work for, no matter their status. They all deserve the highest level of service I can offer them. Haven't been burnt out yet, although I have thought about getting shares in Starbucks.

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poshtottie · 31/03/2009 12:19

Scottishthistle I agree with you. These families tend to have a high turnover of nannies as they get burnt out after a year or so.

thebody · 31/03/2009 11:26

I think some of the comments are unfair here, you arn't a friend however friendly you are to the mother and
everyone moves on in their job, i expect she has in the past. Good luck Mananny

ScottishThistle · 30/03/2009 22:42

Good luck if it's what you want. I'm sure your current (one day) employer will get over it in a few days as she realises you're not exactly holding her family together!

Be warned "high profile" usually means "high maintenance".

ChippingIn · 30/03/2009 21:35

Bumping for an update

HappyChildminderBerkshire · 28/03/2009 20:05

Ooooh another vote for the Gates....although surely they wouldn't have a beach house as such, living in Washington state?????

So excited to hear who it is, and fingers and toes crossed for you!!!!

Original poster

mananny · 28/03/2009 19:01

LMAO at BottySpottom

No I can confirm it most definitely is not the Beckhams. I would rather work for MacDonalds.

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BottySpottom · 28/03/2009 18:51

'interesting and respectable ' not posh and becks then

Original poster

mananny · 28/03/2009 17:55

I am still going for the job. It's a huge opportunity and I would regret not giving it a shot. Have spoken with my boss and cleared the air. She really is lovely, said they are 110% behind whatever I want to do. She said I am like family to them and would always be a part of their lives whether I was their nanny or not. Which made me well up.

So, now I feel better about going for this position I just have to wait and see if they call me for an interview. Won't have any nails left by Monday.

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PixiNanny · 28/03/2009 17:15

I don't know how I would handle being a celebs nanny, as long as it was purely nannying and not being a PA to them I'd be alright with it I s'pose?

Must say though to whoever mentioned Tom and Katie, I couldn't work for them!

Nabster · 28/03/2009 17:13

Are you still going for the job?

Notquitegrownup · 28/03/2009 16:31

Logging my guess as Mr and Mrs Bill Gates!

Original poster

mananny · 28/03/2009 14:51

From what I have been told, once I have accepted a formal job offer I am free to release the names of my employers. However, I will not be allowed to release any details regarding the children obviously.

Am sooooooooo ridiculously excited even though once you find out who it is you'll probably all be a bit

If I even get the job. Must not get my hopes up. (Feel like it's Christmas come early if I even get past an interview with the PA!!!)

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