South African Child Minder Needed

I think we're far too sensitive about saying things that might, possibly, if taken the wrong way, read on the night of a new moon when Venus is aligned the wrong way, offend. Blatantly offensive comments = clearly wrong. Politically correct pussyfooting = ridiculous. Our children will grow up not knowing how to approach a subject directly for fear of offending someone rather than able to treat things in a pragmatic yet sensitive manner.

And at cancelling the nativity play. Would they cancel a Diwali or Chinese New Year celebration on the same grounds? I feel that there are some things which, if you are offended by, you should remove yourself from. I object to the wholesale celebration and commercial glorification of Halloween. I could go so far as to say I'm offended by it. But I deal with that by removing myself from it, do not "celebrate" it by trick-or-treating or cutting up pumpkins and don't go around telling people how offensive it is.

Slightly off topic now...

Back on it - I agree the cultures probably would merge, hence my saying "as similar to their home life as possible" rather than a home away from home. But a childminder with ties to any culture is going to have more of an influence of that culture in their setting than a childminder with no ties to a particular culture, whether that be Japanese, Spanish or South African.

OP I hope you find a childminder you are happy with, who will support you in your efforts to raise your child bilingually with ties to your own culture and that of the country you live in. I think that is all anyone can hope for.

And apologies for ranting again.

wannabe - that's funny because I distinctly remembering hearing my DH's BIL speaking Afrikaans to a white Zimbabwean at my wedding.......and he's most definitely black.

I think this is absurd.
I advertised for a native Italian speaking nanny. If I want my dd to be bilingual and I work full time, the only way it will happen is to get a native Italian speaker. The cultural aspect is important too. It DOES NOT MEAN you are not integrating or involved in THIS COUNTRY, you can have multiple cultures and languages during your upbringing.

You are reading racism into something that just does not exist.

i wonder what OP is going to think when she gets back online and sees that she has zillions of posts only to find that it has become argumentative and real MN post!

ok whatever

i just get jarred off with feeling like you have to be careful about who you offend all the time, when my sons nativity play was canceled as it offended someone.

and i am aware that that has nothing to do with my original post either

So? just because they have chosen to live in this country (and for all we know it might be temporarily for work) doesn't mean they have to completely forget about where they came from or want to bring their child up billingual and knowing about where his parents came from.

Also that argument is nothing to do with your original post.

because libra, they have chosen to live in this country

and IMO you are unlikely to find a childminder who is south african and afrikaans speaking and will be like a home from home because I presume that such a childminder wouldn't be allowed to reject english speaking children and thus the cultures would merge.

I think the issue is with public stipulation of what you want.

If I wanted a British childminder I would probably go and see a number and would privately choose the British one iyswim.

It's not different from saying French or Welsh childminder wanted or South African, Kiwi, Aussie, French, German, Martian nanny wanted. The OP wants her child to experience an environment as similar to their home life as possible (afrikaans speaking, similar cultural outlook). Isn't that supposed to be the point of home-based childcarers as well as being inclusive etc.?

In this case it's not the childminder who is saying she will only look after South African children, it's someone who would prefer a childminder who cares for other South African children. Presumably she isn't going to discriminate if there happen to be children from other cultures there, it's just that her preference (clearly stated as one) is for someone with other South African children. If it happened to be a childminder advertising for South African children then I would have a problem becuase it's not inclusive and that childminder is clearly not open to everyone.

becj53 - I personally wouldn't flame you for that. If your preference is for a British childminder then that's your preference. Just because you're British in England you have the right to choose a British childminder over another nationality from a pool of childminders who are open to you. If you were Irish in England and wanted an Irish childminder that's understandable, if you were Welsh in England and wanted a Welsh childminder that's understandable, if you were German in England and wanted a German childminder that is too and if you were English living in Peru and wanted an English childminder then that's equally understandable. This happens to be a South African living in England wanting a South African childminder.

looneytune - South African is a nationality. My best friend here has American nationality, does that tell you what race she is? She could be any race. I have British nationality, does that tell you anything about what box I tick on those equality and diversity forms?

Rant over.

If the op is looking for a childminder who speaks afrikaans then she is either white or mixed race. Black south Africans are not Afrikaans-speaking they speak one of a number of other languages indiginous to South Africa.

The one part of Afrikaans culture I imagine the op might be keen to have her children exposed to is that the Afrikaaners are usually deeply religious.

What I would say to the op though is that it would surely be very important for her baby to be raised as bilingual, as Afrikaans is not a widely spoken language anywhere else in the world other than South Africa.

I do think the op is contentious because...

One of the things that South Africa is renouned for is apartheid. And while the country's laws on apartheid have changed, the views of a lot of the white inhabitants certainly have not. So rightly or wrongly, a probably white south African making stipulations about the culture of someone she wishes to employ is contentious.

Maybe she just thought that most childminders based in England wouldn't speak Afrikaans.

becj53 I am still not sure why you think it's so offensive to look for a CM who speaks Afrikaans and knows about south african culture.

Well said

I care for SA children (an oddly high proportion of my clients are from SA or Zim - not sure why they just are....) so I have an excellent understanding of SA culture but I couldn't speak Afrikaans except for hello goodbye etc and certainly can't write a word! And I am totally 100% white british - so I wonder if the OP would be better asking for a CM who is sympathetic to their culture and who would be prepared to get in resources in afrikaans to help the new child in their bilingualism?

Part of SA culture that I have come across is that generally people are very up front and direct in their talking - its not meant as rude and isn't meant to cause offense - its just the way all my clients from SA talk too - direct and to the point - no messing about with political correctness!!!

OP - don't dismiss us "english" CMs just because you assume we can't be syumpathetic to your culture - we can and many of us already do!

when the child is due to start school will you look for a school that meets that criteria as well? - think you need to get real nadia - or live in sa

Right sorry, fuzzy head from terrible cold so apologies for that BUT I don't actually see what colour has to do with it anyway

no she didn't say what race "South African" is not a race - are they black (like my DH's BIL), are they white - like one of the boarding staff were at my boarding school, or are they mixed race like that family at DS1's school........

She did say what race, the first words are: 'Hi, my husband and I are both South African...'

I wouldn't have such a problem with this if we didn't have to be so careful what we say!! Plus yes, Ofsted wouldn't like a childminder who mainly took South African children as the childminder should be seen to be open for EVERYONE.

Having said all that. I'm in Shinfield so not far from Mortimer and although I don't know any South African childminders personally, I have been on courses with one or 2 recently so there must be some local. You could ring the Family Information Service and ask?

fair point FAQ re colour, but even if you omit the word white from my first post it is still unreasonable imo

i think that it would have been better worded had OP stated that she was looking for a CM who could speak Afrikaans.

ermm she hasn't said what race she is - she's just said Afrikaans speaking - no mention of black/white/blue with purple spots.

Sorry but I'm another one who thought the same!