cm has told us not to bring ds back!

I had a 10 month old little boy who didn't settle for 8 WEEKS! He didn't like having to share me with other mindees, wanted picking up all the time, didn't sleep etc. But we persevered, lots of cuddles and reassurance, routine to putting him down, so that he got some sleep.

Now he i the happiest of little boys who is always smiling.

Also had a two year old girl, who was a nightmare, cried continually, wouldn't/couldn't be comforted, had been very much the PFB, never been out of Mums sight.

6 weeks in and she suddenly settled.

And how can I say she was a nightmare........ cos that is what Mum says 7 years on and I tell Mum it wasn't so much the daughter as the MUM she says

'God I was a PFB Mum wasn't I'

Yep but aren't we all allowed to be

Anyway, the CM was totally unprofessional and you are well out of there.

We had a very similar experience with DS. He was 'expelled' by the CM after just 2 weeks. Then, when I rang round other minders, I discovered that she had bad-mouthed him to a number of other childminders! He was 8 months old, fgs! Yes, he was crying a bit, but isn't that what babies often do?
We then found a lovely day nursery for him to attend, and he was very happy there right up until he went to school.
As an aside, some month later I heard the same minder in the local shops screaming like a fishwife at some poor toddler, and I thought 'Phew, what a lucky escape!)
I hope you find something great for your lovely little one soon.

As a cm myself I have to say that she sounds awful and completely unprofessional.Iknow a lot of cms and I can honestly say Ive not come across one like that before. Dont take it personally its not your fault that she cannot cope youve had a lucky escape as has your Ds can you just imagine how hard she would find it to cope when Ds does hit the terrible toddler age of pushing boundaries ! Doesnt bear thinking about. On your next cm visits ask what their policy is on settling children in explain what happened to you and ask what they would have done to help settle Ds in and you should find a better suitable person, remember to follow your gut instincts and you shouldnt go too far wrong.

Are there any good nurseries in your area?

how awful. it can take ages and ages for littleones to settle, she hasnt given it a chance. sounds like an excuse. you have had a lucky escape

I have been a minder 23 years, it can take toddlers longer than babies to settle in, and the cm needs to have a lot of patience and empathy and time to reassure, cuddle and have one on one time with him. Perhaps her mix of children is not right, I think carefully about the needs of all the children in my care before taking on a new one, and will take the one who will suit my setting. My new ones get one on one when the others are asleep, or they will be on my lap for stories, playing etc. he needs to feel secure before he can settle in.

The CIS now the FIS cannot and will not pass any judgement on childminders, nor will they enter into discussion about individual childminders, they just run the lists, send out details etc. But, there will be a development officer that they could out you in touch with if you have concerns about the childminders ability to look after children.she ay pay a visit if she is on a network or attached to a children's centre as we all are now. If it is a safety issue, then it is Ofsted

I hope you get your little one settled with someone soon.

I think you've had a lucky escape - if she's messing you about after 2 days???

I also believe it's just an excuse of hers (blaming your ds isn't settling in well), she probably has another reason. Please don't take it personally.

And even if she is being honest and he is still crying and not himself... it does take a little while sometimes to settle in, this is normal behaviour, no way out of the ordinary. He hardly knows her at this stage.

And... I would NEVER mind a child I had no contract for.... ever. This alone rings alarm bells.

Please try and find someone worthy of her profession... I hope you manage to find someone asap... people like her make my blood boil.

My son was also 'sacked' by a CM at about that age. He went to a lovely nursery where they didn't mind the fact he needed to have a bit of a cry before settling for his nap. OFten they'd cuddle him to help.

butterflies where in the country are you? I feel so bad for you if I can help I surely will - I know CMs for quite a large area on account of moving counties doing this job so if you are anywhere near me then I will get on the case!

Lucky escape I think - she sounds bloody useless, either that (or as others have said) got an 'easier' option. Mind you, what's easier than a sweet, charming, 16mth old I don't know, but maybe the hours someone wanted her for suited her better, or she had a friend ask if she had a space, God knows.... but if she's this useless, this quick - then you are best off out of it. DS will be fine.

I'd of been annoyed at DH too.

I don't suppose your original CM is in a positon to have him back is she??

Hope you find someone soon.

I would speak to the CIS about her. She sounds dreadful and I wouldn't take my dc back. Sounds as if she changed her mind but didn't have the nerve to tell you. There are some excellent CMs around but unfortunately for you not the one you found. What were her references like?

OMG that is shocking behaviour!

i'd allow a good month for p/t or two weeks for f/t to settle in.

your probably best off out of it TBH.

Something doesn't sound right - an experienced cm knows that it can take time to settle a child of any age in a new setting, and works with parents to make it as smooth as possible. The fact you had no contracts drawn up before she cared for ds rang alarm bells with me - I never take on a child before parents sign contracts! Also, i make sure children have several 'settling' sessions (with and without parents) before they start in my setting.

I would ring the Family Information Services department at your local authority and 'ask questions' about what they think about your situation. Sounds like everything's not 'above board' to me! Good luck.

Ps. if you live in NE12 then let me know

can you give feedback on CM's to anyone? sounds like she should be looked at - wonder if she has done this before. (i know nothing about CM's though)

She's crap. I can't believe she's doing everything by email. What a coward not to be able to tell you face to face or at least by phone. Poor you guys, in the soup. Hope your next child carer is a good egg, unlike this fool, and not too hard to find.

How unprofessional! I bet if you stayed with her you'd have had loads of problems.

Poor you! Sounds like a nightmare. I agree with everybody else that she sounds crap.

I'm sure you have already done this, but have you asked your old CM whether she knows anyone?

Good luck, hope you find somebody lovely for your DS.

i agree best off out of there,by the sounds of things

have a look / advertise on netmums and gumtree

hope you find someone soon

xx

sorry i mean't 'him'

she sounds crap and shouldn't even call yu anyway about him not settling, thats her job to sort out not keep calling you to pick her up. If I had had to get my dd in the earlly years everytime she was 'unsettled' i would have lost my job..............she sounds like a precious selfish cow IMO...you're better off without, it will be tough but it will workk out in the end. good luck with your search...why not consider nurseries also? it gives you more options if you don't rule anything out.

She should have given your baby a few months to settle before making that descion.

Did you have your DS there full time? Perhaps she had a query from someone looking for more hours and was looking for an excuse to get rid of you.

Very unprofessional of her.