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To charge ap for *another* ruined item of clothing and trashed iron or not?

158 replies

kittywise · 04/03/2009 10:18

Ok, I've had my AP since Dec. We've had ups and downs and some of you might remember my posts on the subject!
Against all odds it has worked out pretty ok.
She is very dippy and has no common sense but has learned from her many mistakes and she plays really well with the younger children.
She has to leave in April to go on another language course.

Now my dilema is that she has managed to spoil a number of items of clothing by putting them in the tumble drier when she was told again and again that they shouldn't go in. Items like jumpers, fleeces and tracksuit bottoms. The first couple of times I patiently explained and then started to get cross. She actiully said to me that she would have been crosser than me in the same situation!!

Anyway yesterday she comes to me saying the the hot iron must have fallen into the basket underneath the ironing board which contains pile of clothes waiting to be ironed.
She says she hadn't noticed that it had fallen. She had turned it off and gone upstairs ( how can you not notice that the iron is no longer on the ironing board?)

Consequently the iron has ruined 2 items of clothing, I'm amazed that it was only 2, one expensive gap fleece, and of course the iron is covered in burnt plastic and is now unusable. Not to mention the potential dire consequences of burning clothes.
There is a huge tank of heating oil in the basement where all the laundry stuff is. I can't begin to contemplate what would have happened to us if a fire had started down there

Now I am pissed off, it was so so careless and dangerous of her and I am faced with replacing yet more clothing.

I want to ask her to contribute towards the cost of a new fleece and say that next time I will ask her to pay the full amount for any items that need replacing because she has shrunk, burnt etc them.

What do you think? What would you do in this circ?

Ta

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kittywise · 04/03/2009 11:39

Yes it's legal!!

I have just asked her to replace the top. I gave the the option of paying £5 weekly or doing a one off. She chose the one off.
it's very hard to know what she is thinking as what ever i say she nods and smiles.
"oh ap you could have blown us all up"
Ap nods and smiles[hmm[]

Saying that though she does over her hours. She has free time between courses and likes to play with the little ones. I never ask her to and am always around but she likes to play with them in the house, so that's a bonus.
I've had ap's who work to the minute, there'sno flexibility, no give and take.
Id much rather have a dippy laid back ap than the other extreme!

OP posts:
DaisyMooSteiner · 04/03/2009 11:34

You have your heating oil tank inside your house?! I wouldn't even be able to sleep at night! Is that even legal?!

kittywise · 04/03/2009 11:28

I expect odd breakages and as I said she's already ruined a number of things.
Yes I will ask her to pay for the gap shirt, it was ds's fav top which is in itself unfortunate, but it cost a fortune. I don't often buy things so expensive.
Luckily for her I can get a replacemnt on ebay for £20.

OP posts:
Weegle · 04/03/2009 11:27

It always does amaze me - I caught current one midway through putting a flimsy plastic bowl in the microwave. Me: "erm, I think that might melt" AP: "ooh, didn't think of that" - I walk away thinking to myself "and you're planning on going to uni in october?"

Weegle · 04/03/2009 11:25

I think a tenner this week as a one off would be fair - but accompany it with a serious talk about safety. How the heck she managed to knock an iron over without noticing is scary and she needs to understand what would have happened if a fire had started. We had a similar issue about a bike wheel (you might remember!) and in the end she paid towards it but she is no longer allowed to use the bike. It worked wonders on getting her to take care of our property and there was no long term hard feeling. There's clueless and dippy and then there's plain dangerous...

mumof2222222222222222boys · 04/03/2009 11:21

I'd be pretty hacked off.

Slightly different but our AP has managed to pick up 2 parking tickets while using car for her own things...and she has paid both without expecting any contribution from us. first was £30 and second was £50. She was really silly and completely accepted that. Yes it is a huge chunk out of her £65 pw, but it is her responsibility.

She has also broken a couple of glasses here and there - we haven't charged even though I was seriously annoyed about one that is irreplaceable and used to be my Granny's. Others were ikea.

I would take at least a tenner - or perhaps invite her to replace one of the items from Gap.

kittywise · 04/03/2009 11:09

aupair, I thought of taking a tenner out this week as a one off.

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aupair101 · 04/03/2009 10:58

It is a difficult one, but I probably wouldn't have been so stupid in the first place! The only trouble is, the money you pay her is probably the only money she has. Why not tell her you will take £5 out of her pocket money for a few weeks? That way she will learn her lesson without being unfairly out of pocket. If it happened to me, I'd be a bit cross that I was giving all of my wages back in one go... So just take a fiver out every week when you pay her?