Does/would/should having a partner who smokes affect your CM business?

underpaidandoverworked 'It is my business but my dp's home! As I said anyway, he is an EX-smoker but is still entitled to his opinion, as are all posters on here.'

Just to clarify... of course he is entitled to his opinion, we all are (who said we all had to think the same in this post?).... including me.

This board is a sounding board of everyone's views and will always have differing opinions

TBH I think the smoking must be quite significant for it to trfr from clothes to clothes. My nanny smokes on way to our house and sometimes her clothes smell strongly of smoke, but the children never smell of smoke (and I am the kind of ex-smoker who can spot it a mile off). Completely different to when the kids visit their cousins - my brother smokes in the kitchen with the windows open and his house never smells, but the kids clothes do afterwards, every time (and they don't spend time in the kitchen themselves)

I guess what I am trying to say is that I think direct contact with airborne smoke - even from someone smoking in the garden - will leave a much stronger aroma than smells transferred from clothing. For that reason alone I would be concerned about how 'smoke-free' the smoke-free environment is.

I have had this problem exactly with my CM.
She doesn't smoke but her DH does. I asked at the interview if she smoked but never thought to mention anyone else (1st childcare experience)- tbh it would have made me think twice if I'd known but it is a different decision to withdraw her from a place I'm otherwise very satisfied with.

DD has twice come home smelling of smoke. 2nd time I mentioned it, she was v apologetic and it hasn't happened since. I didn't ask what she did about it or make any threats to withdraw her just said I wasn't happy.

The other side of it is that DD actually really likes CM's DH. He has a building job which starts and finishes early so he's often home at pick up time and I've noticed she's often reading or drawing with him. I think its really nice that he likes the kids and is willing to do stuff with them when its not his job and I wouldn't want this to stop. I would absolutely find it unacceptable if he ever smoked in front of DD but I think what probably happened was transfer from clothes.

I don't think you need to get into discussion of how it happens or what to suggest to tackle it just say that you don't find it acceptable and it needs to change and if she values your relationship and custom its up to her to sort it out.

Im a cm and neither me or my husband smoke neither do any of our friends who visit our house. I have a parent who does smoke and although I always smell it on her at drop offs and collection times I have never once smelt it on the mindee.She doesnt smoke around mindee but she does in her house when he is asleep, I have never smelt it on him or his clothes / belongings so I think there is a little more to this than meets the eye.

I would never send my kid to a childminder who had smoke around. It is a bad influence. End of. "Do you or anyone in your house smoke?" would be a bog standard interview question for me. If she said "yes", that would be the end of the interview.

However, if I didn't ask and always knew there was smoke, I don't think I'd have grounds to complain later.

Yes and lets face it, it is primarily peoples homes!! Lets not get caught up with all the "mad rules" ourselves here ( I am not supporting smoking - can't stand it!), but all these children live in "normal" homes where there pets/dads/brothers grandmas uncles etc etc all eat/sleep/live/breathe normally without "hiding" everything away, only blinking when told and knowing full well that there are medicines alcohol knives etc in the house etc etc etc.....you get my drift! Phew!

It is my business but my dp's home! As I said anyway, he is an EX-smoker but is still entitled to his opinion, as are all posters on here.

underpaidandoverworked 'BTW - my dp is an ex-smoker (long before I met him), but he has just read this thread and commented that if anyone suggested he had a shower when he got in, or kept his coat separate from the rest of the family he would be livid!'

Even if it affected your business, and your business being children - who's health and wellbeing is paramount? A small sacrifice to make I'd think.

There are rules. No he should not smoke in the house or garden while the children are there.

If your child's clothes smell of stale smoke, most likely he is smoking in the house but when all the children are gone.

Smoke sticks to fabric and can be more dangerous to children than smoking itself as the nicotine gets into the skin and is breathed in by the child.

I would ask ofsted for the report on your CM. Can be viewed on website if you have her ref. no.

Give ofsted a call and ask them on thier new legislation.

My DH used to smoke - although never in the house. You definitely get used to the smell when you live with a smoker and it was only when I stayed away from home I realised that the 'clean' clothes I'd taken away with me stank of stale smoke - but the closest he'd smoked to them was outside on the balcony - with the door shut while the clothes were on airers drying inside. So perhaps your babysitter's DH is smoking outside when your LOs are there and the smell is 'seeping' into the house - especially if window/door is open??

No-one in my home smokes (I've always been 1000% anti-tobacco!) but occasionally my sister, who is a smoker visits while I have mindees. She isn't allowed to smoke anywhere on my premises while she is here but I often find that even then, I can smell cigarette smoke even after she's been gone a few hours, and i am conscious of it.

I sometimes visit my parents with mindees - they love having 'surrogate grandchildren' - and my mum smokes occasionally in the back garden (though NEVER when I'm there with mindees and never on the days she knows I'm visiting with them!!), but the smell does linger for hours (days??), so i always tell parents when I'm visiting them so that they know that should they smell it then that is why. But, tbh, you could be in the local park and have someone smoking like a chimney next to you and, though you can challenge them, you can't make them stop! The same if you take them to any other open space......

CMs have to have a no smoking policy within their 'setting' within their contracted hours of employment in the areas they use for childminding but anyone who uses a cm has to remember that it is primarily their home and home to their husbands, partners, children etc outside those hours!

BTW - my dp is an ex-smoker (long before I met him), but he has just read this thread and commented that if anyone suggested he had a shower when he got in, or kept his coat separate from the rest of the family he would be livid!

My DH smokes. Not in the house or car but he doesn't change his clothes, coat or anything and its hung up near the kids and I never smell smoke on them but I do on him. Earlier posts are right if your kids hair smell of smoke then he's smoking near them or in the house. Not nice. I would express your concerns to your CM, say that you really really don't want to move them but if this happens once more you will have no alternative but to look for other childcare.

Bumping for the evening Childminder crowd

Yes, it's pretty horrible.

When I'm lying in my bed I sometimes smell smoke if the teenage boy downstairs is smoking in his bedroom. It's coming through gaps somewhere. I don't think there's anything we can do. Most of the time I don't smell it, only notice as I said when I open a bag of supposedly clean clothes somewhere smoke-free.

We live in the city so there's traffic pollution as well. I do worry about long term health implications. We are hoping to move.

You can download EYFS at teachernet. The only legal requirement is the bit that says "Specific legal requirements:
Smoking:
Providers must ensure that children are in a smoke-free environment."

IMO, technically, most childminders will have breached this at some point or other - in the street you don't always notice if someone has a cigarette until you smell it. So by the time you choose another route or ask someone to put it out, you've already brought the mindees too close. However, thats not what this thread is about. I think its perfectly reasonable to expect, if you send your child to a smoke-free childcare setting, that your child and your belongings will not smell of smoke when you collect. Its possible Ofsted/DCSF might consider that the "spirit" of the EYFS requirements intended to include smoky objects as well as the smoke itself.

However, EYFS does not mention storage of smoky clothing etc, so if no-one smokes in the presence of mindees, rooms are aired, and the childminder is following the advisory comments (the bit about having a non smoking policy, airing rooms etc) then it might be argued that she is following EYFS to the letter. While its generally accepted that passive smoking is dangerous, I've not found anything to prove the view that being in contact with smoky items might be dangerous.

I don't think she'll think you're a loon. She must have considered the possibility that you could complain to Ofsted if she cannot resolve this. I agree with your RL friend's comments that it is her responsibility to find a solution, not yours. BUT you have already explained the problem and she has not yet resolved it. So I think you should offer her your list of ideas but don't say she must do all of these or you'll terminate the contract. Perhaps say, this is what some other childminders do so thought it might be helpful, but feel free to ignore this list if you have another solution THAT WORKS.

but i agree it could be the parents of other mindees...ask about taht too

i get the feeling that you dont want ot move your child. that is totally understandable. so thereofre she is probablyh a nice person and you haveno worries about approaching her about this

just say "im really upset that my children smell of smoke, i realise you are doing al you can at the moment and its not deliberate by your partners but i have been thinking about this and have come up with a few ideas, what do you think?" then suggest her dp showers when he comes in, washes his hands when he comes in from havinga fag int he garden, he keeps his coat seperate

she will just be relieved you are not handing in your notice

shona - do you mean the smoke kind of infiltrates?! Wow thats a nightmare!

She probably can't tell tbh.

Our downstairs neighbours smoke like chimneys - obviously nothing we can do about that. When we stay at my parents I always notice that the bag of (clean) clothes we take smell slightly stale . I don't notice until I'm in a completely smoke-free environment.

If her husband smokes she is unlikely to be as aware of the smell as you are.

I personally would never send my child to a cm who had any smoking in the house whatsoever - whether they/partner smokes whilst your child is there, or after hours, it doesn't matter - the smoke (poison) is in the air, the curtains, the furniture etc.

I am a severe asthmatic and it is a huge trigger for me.. and so many more kids are getting asthma nowadays and smoking is a huge factor to consider.

I would call for a meeting asap... you need to be totally frank with her. Communication is key btwn parent and cm. I wish you all the best with sorting this out! x

Just to add, could it be that the parents of another mindee smoke? I had this and had to keep her belongings in a completely seperate place ( and I put them in a plastic bag) so it wouldn't transfer smell of smoke onto other childrens belongings. At one point I was "ousting" all her stuff as soon as she came through the door too.

sparkle - if hes an understandign hubbie he will not mind nor take offense if she asks him to have separate place for coats etc - maybe he could store his coats in their bedroom as that sone room that mindees generally don't enter in a CM house.

My hubbie doesn't smoke as I said earlier but he does have manky work clothes - he understands that its for the safety of hygeine of the children and he nevers questions his "quarantene"!!

As for the discriminatory bit - no not at all - I am often asked if anyone smokes and I point to the very obvious No smoking sign by the front door and am happy to reassure parents that this isn't something I allow. Even when guests come they are to smoke on the drive - tough I'm afraid if its raining - my children's health and that of mindees is paramount.

Don't feel bad about it -I wouldn't be happy to have my DCs coming home smelling of smoke!

sparkle12mar08 this is just my opinion but you mention that your eldest adores his CM, this for me would be the main thing, if this was the case I would do everything in my power to ensure you and the CM are on the same page (sorry about the cliche) when it comes to the smoking as one of the posters has already said sit down with her and explain that you want this resolved so both you and CM are happy going forward.
HOWEVER even if it did happen again as long as I was 100% sure that my child was not actually being exposed to the smoke i.e. the smell transference was from clothes then I would probably let it go.

I don't think you'll sound like a loon if you explain that you've done some research into similar situations and this is the solution that other childminders have offered - it sounds perfectly reasonable to me, and actually is it any different from somebody who works in an office all day coming home and changing out of a suit? I think it's pretty normal to want to change into different clothes at the end of the working day if they are either uncomfortable or smelly / dirty.

I think the key (as you already know! ) to this is that at the end of the day you do have a business relationship with your childminder, and she needs to recognise that you expect a level of professionalism from her. However, to give you confidence that she is taking this seriously, I would still ask her to come up with solutions in the first instance, and have this up your sleeve if her solutions don't come up to scratch.