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Nanny crisis - please help (very long)!!!!!!!!

105 replies

NannyNightmare · 23/02/2009 17:30

Namechanged but am a very regular poster on both this board and others amongst the Mumsnet winds.

I have 3 DC's and we have had our current nanny for 4 months. Children are aged 8, 2.5, and not quite 1. Nanny has generally been great, I come home to find a spotless house, nanny diary with balanced meals listed and all children eating well, happy, and normally reading books together.

I came home today from work about 2 hours early (which I never do) to hear my 8-year-old crying in his room with the door locked (his room is on ground floor). We have a very old house whereby doors can only be locked with big rusty keys hung above fireplace that we NEVER use. I walked into kitchen where nanny was force-feeding my 2.5-year-old a massive plate of mashed potato and nothing else. When I say force-feeding, I mean by daughter was strapped into her high chair, nanny had one hand opening her mouth, other hand with spoon shoving it in.

I promptly said, "Nanny, what on EARTH are you doing? Why is DS locked in his room and STOP doing that with DD1" whereby she looked horrified, stood up, went to lounge and got her bag, and left WITHOUT SAYING A WORD.

I took DD1 out of chair, cleaned her up and calmed her down, let out DS who said Nanny had her boyfriend over that day and the children were supposed to play in DS's room quietly. He said DD2 was crying, he went to get Nanny, Nanny locked him in the room, shouted and swore, dropped 2 DD's in their rooms, and he hadn't seen her since then.

On the kitchen side was the nanny diary where I saw she had already listed DD as having eaten 'Mashed potato - all, Chicken - all, Green beans - all'.

DS is generally a shy boy but he doesn't make up many tales and the fact she just left with absolutely no conversation whatsoever has me believing him. Where do I go to report this, I have called/texted/emailed nanny and had no reply (naturally). I have canceled our direct debit into her account, we found her privately and not through an agency. I am very tempted to contact her previous references and inform them of this to warn potential other employers.

Who do I ring? Police?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
poshtottie · 23/02/2009 17:46

That sounds awful!! Its a good job you came home early. Has your 8 year old not mentioned anything before about her behaviour?

Am not sure the police will do anything but I would make sure she never works with children again. Could you ring NSPCC for advice?

NannyNightmare · 23/02/2009 17:46

Lynette Thanks for your advice. Wasn't sure if police was over the top - as a Mum coming home to find who you thought was a lovely qualified, happy person looking after your children doing such things......has made me extremely as you can imagine. Thanks for helping put it back in perspective.

Apparently, DS says boyfriend has come round before 'a long time ago' (but I'm wondering if she brings him round during the day as DS is normally at school?) No I knew nothing of him being there.

I have taken the week off to mollycoddle my kids a bit...I'm sure I'll take the cotton wool off soon, but I suppose I'll have to find a nanny agency for a temp for 4 weeks or so until we can find a permanent replacement.

Yes she does have a contract, and there is a bit in there about gross misconduct so I'll leave a voicemail on her phone if she (still) doesn't pick up.

OP posts:
foxinsocks · 23/02/2009 17:43

I would ring the police and I think you should. That's child cruelty imo.

LynetteScavo · 23/02/2009 17:42

Ditto Page62.

Page62 · 23/02/2009 17:38

Hi,
How so so awful for you.
I don't think you should ring the police as that seems a bit OTT. But i would text/leave her a voicemail to say you would like your house keys back immediately and that she is fired for gross misconduct (i am assuming she has a nanny contract). Double check your contract but i hope that you don't have to pay her anything for notice if it is due to gross misconduct.
I am soooooo livid for you to be honest. I would definitely call her previous employers as she would obviously not list you as a reference -- chances are, previous families did not know about this.
Are you able to find emergency cover this week? make sure she doesn't come back. I am assuming she did not tell you about the boyfriend coming?

oh my god, i am so angry for you.