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Original poster

Have any of you ever had mindees you just don't 'click' with?

29 replies

OFSTEDoutstanding · 18/02/2009 19:44

I have been childminding a mindee for 2 years, since he was 5 months old and for the first time in 17 years of childcare I just don't seem to have bonded with him. I am caring and will give him cuddles and play and do all the things you would do with any other mindee but I get absolutely nothing back. He wouldn't dream of giving me a hug goodbye when he leaves and tbh his parents would find it strange if I asked for one. He never asks to sit on my lap, he wont come over and talk to me and if my ds is not there he will only play alone or sit looking into space. Before any of you say I should try harder I have done everything I possibly can, I feel like the 5month old mindee gives more back. I don't show that I haven't bonded and he is really happy here but just not at all affectionate. Has this ever happened to any of you and if so what do you do. It probably sounds really silly but it is starting to make me feel like a really bad childminder

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Original poster
OFSTEDoutstanding · 18/02/2009 20:10

Nanny Nick It has been 2 years of M-F 8 hours a day. I have spoken to the parents they think he is just sulking because my ds has just started pre-school but I tried to explain it has always been this way and they just shrug their shoulders. If he injures himself he stands and cries and doesn't make any attempt to come to me at all, though he will let me hold him when I go to him. He has always been a slow developer he didn't sit until 10 months or walk until nearly 18months. He has only just started talking more than one word at a time at 2 1/2. During the day if I leave the room to prepare a craft activity or prepare a snack he will fall asleep sitting up where he is and is always very tired and falls over constantly. Again parents have been told and just laugh it off I really don't know what to do

OP posts:
nannynick · 18/02/2009 20:00

How often do you care for him? If it's 2 years of Mon-Fri, 10 hours+ a day, then I find it odd. However, not everyone shows affection in the same way.
If he injures himself... does he come to you then?

Chatkins · 18/02/2009 19:49

Maybe he is like this with other people too ?

I have minded very cuddly, affectionate children, and children who really like their personal space. It sounds like you have tried really hard, and it certainly doesn't sound like he is unhappy with you.

Could you talk to the parents about your concerns ?

LoveBuckets · 18/02/2009 19:48

Sorry to butt in, but that actually sounds like my son at that age who turned out to have an Autistic Spectrum Disorder. Try not to take it personally but if you get the chance ask his mum about him, she may feel the same as you and be desperate to talk.